


Page by Page

by HerSistersKeeper, pythia



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Hollywood, Alternate Universe - Music, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Celebrities, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Former Disney Channel Star Angst, Gossip, Hollywood, Jyn and Cassian are alive and the best, Magazine articles, Music, Musicians, Smut, Taylor Swift we stole your life, famous au, no regrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-06 21:20:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 48,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12826332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerSistersKeeper/pseuds/HerSistersKeeper, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pythia/pseuds/pythia
Summary: When Ben Solo was asked to act in a music video, he flat out said no. He was a serious actor who did Shakespeare.  He didn't play the part of "man meat" on command, especially for the likes of Rey Kenobi, America's love-to-hate popstar.He thinks that by saying yes, he's just getting back at rival Armitage Hux, Rey's ex-boyfriend and constant pain in his side.He doesn't think that Rey will become the song in his head. But she does, and he can't help singing it.Note: Chapters 1-9 were heavily rewritten and reposted on 12/26/2017.





	1. Bad Blood - Taylor Swift

**Author's Note:**

> This is the brainchild of HerSistersKeeper one day in our epic fanfic chat. We started talking about what kind of shitty things someone might say about Ben Solo in an interview and the next thing we knew.. We'd written 45 pages. No regrets. We hope you enjoy this!
> 
> Heavily rewritten and reposted on 12/26/17. NB: Ben is basically shirtless in every chapter. You're welcome.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn’t really know much about mainstream music, since Rey Kenobi had never done a Tiny Desk Concert on NPR, he didn’t know anything about her. Snoke had been so dismissive of the idea, that Ben had to go on the audition, just to spite his agent. His agent’s death grip on his career had begun to chafe more than usual recently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Newly rewritten, because this is the Taylor Swift AU that you didn't ask for and we wrote anyway. Thank you to the Reylo Squad for all the encouragement. We hope that you enjoy this rewritten version.
> 
> It features WAY more shirtless Ben Solo. Hell yes.

Ben had a folder with his headshot and the script pages that he’d looked over before coming in. He’d gotten a call from Snoke, his decrepit and often cruel agent, about Rey Kenobi asking if Ben Solo would come into audition as her love interest for her next music video. 

He didn’t really know much about mainstream music, since Rey Kenobi had never done a Tiny Desk Concert on NPR, he didn’t know anything about her. Snoke had been so dismissive of the idea, that Ben had to go on the audition, just to spite his agent. His agent’s death grip on his career had begun to chafe more than usual recently. 

While listening to Snoke discuss his plans to get Ben signed on to a play in London, he Googled Rey Kenobi and found that she was once linked to Armitage Hux for a brief period. That information made him snort. Kenobi might be talented, given the number of awards she’d won over the years, but she clearly lacked judgement when it came to relationships. On stage, Kenobi favored brightly colored ball gowns that made her look like a Disney princess. Looking at her bright smile in a photograph with Hux as they ducked inside a dive bar in lower Manhattan, Ben made his decision. 

“I’m doing it, Snoke. I’m calling Cassian Andor and booking the job myself. Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do. I was emancipated at sixteen for a reason,” Ben snapped into his phone before hanging up on Snoke. He’d pay for it later, in some painful way, but it was worth it. The email from Cassian Andor’s assistant was in his email, and Ben made an appointment to audition. That’s how he ended up in an overly chic office in the Tenderloin, like some kid, wet behind the ears and just out of drama school. The exposed brick, Etsy-style prints and drip coffee rubbed him the wrong way. Sighing, Ben plugged in his headphones and pulled up Kenobi’s discography on iTunes.

Which was a mistake. 

Finally, Cassian Andor slipped out of a conference room and walked over to Ben, greeting him with a friendly smile. 

“Ben Solo, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I am Cassian Andor, I’m a fan of your work. Thank you for coming in. I know that this different for you, but I think that you might enjoy the challenge,” Cassian’s brown eyes were friendly, and his accent made everything sound sweetly musical. It was difficult for Ben to keep his hackles up, but he was up for that challenge too. 

Ben shook the older man’s hand, “Thank you. I am always looking for different experiences for myself as an actor. Playing a romantic lead would definitely be a change for me.” He followed Andor into the conference room.

He stared at the storyboards in disbelief. The entire video was laid out for him, but it was essentially modeling, set to music. A good majority of the scenes involved him being shirtless, wet or in bed with Rey Kenobi. Ben went to fucking Julliard, and then NYU to study dramaturgy. Fuck. Snoke was right. This project was scraping the bottom of the barrel. Looking at Andor in disbelief, “So, this is like, what you do for a job? I’m just kind of stunned that you want me to do this. I went to Julliard. I play character parts. I don’t do pretty.” 

The other man, who’d been sitting next to Cassian Andor introduced himself as Poe Dameron. He was Rey’s agent and attorney, who’d come on board to produce for the first time. Dameron had that kind of pretty look to him. Even though he had at least a decade on Rey Kenobi, it was not hard for Ben to imagine him in the storyboard, making out in a steamy shower. What the fuck was this meeting? 

Dameron held up his hands, as if he was trying to calm Ben down, "Almost everyone we screened went to Juilliard. Ms. Kenobi takes everything seriously, and, face it, Ben, this move will make you seem more accessible to the studios. Maybe it's a bit of fan service, but everyone loves that."

Ben scoffed, “Fan service? I haven’t had fans since I was fifteen. I’m not what you’re looking for. That is not for me. I don’t do whatever this is.” He gestured derisively at the storyboards, “Literally anyone could do this. I would imagine that it’s not hard to pretend to like Rey Kenobi, so you’d be wasting your time and money on me.”

Poe sighed, glancing at Cassian. “We know that you’re not the usual  _ type  _ that we line up for Rey’s music videos but sometimes changes need to be made to shake things up. No one would expect someone like you and someone like her to make something like this together. There’s marketability in the novelty…”

The agent quickly closed his mouth, seeing Ben’s lips set into a hard line, his fists curling up to the point that his knuckles paled with the harsh grip.

“I get it. Okay. Fuck.  _ Her with someone like me _ gives her depth and legitimacy. No way. Call me when you have something serious. I am not a prop to rehabilitate the reputation of Capitalist Barbie who disguises her naked greed under a mask of shoe gazing, red lipsticked, fake feminism that shames other women," Ben set his jaw, trying to get his temper under control. It was hard. He really wanted to punch something or someone. 

Rey usually never liked being late to her own meetings, but after falling asleep on the recording studio’s floor, she knew that she was in for a rough morning. Slipping down the hall, her mock-neck short sleeve shirt itching under her blazer, where it was tucked into her jeans, she could already hear the muffled voices and then one voice ring out above the rest. With a sigh, she could already tell that it was the actor Cassian had insisted on bringing aboard. Great, just wonderful.

Pushing the door open, she felt her eyebrows raise instantly, lips pursing. She wasn’t sure if she was amused or not by the newly bestowed moniker, though she was sure that he hadn’t expected her to even be there to hear it.

"Wow, the Mouse did some major damage to you, huh?" Rey leaned in the doorway, glancing at Cassian and fluttering her hand at him as he opened his mouth to defend her. The actor’s eyes snapped to her instantly, but he didn’t look one bit sorry for what he said, which made her want to snort, amused.

"I never considered myself a Barbie doll, when I'm pretty sure my older sister had a Ken doll modelled after you...but that's just some capitalism for you, just some more naked greed." She pushed herself forward, skirting around him to plop down next to Poe and Cassian, hands already on the pile of other candidates, all but ignoring the silent actor now.

"I wasn't emancipated then. I haven’t done anything like that since, and I never will again."

"I think Finn Storm would be interested, don't you? He’s doing something on the album already, and I think you’ve talked with him a few times about dabbling in some acting? Maybe we could get him to do it," If Rey had heard him, she didn't let on, leaning closer to her agent, flipping through the resume. She looked at Ben Solo from under her eyelashes, who glowered at her. 

“Well, there you go. See? You’ve found someone age-appropriate and more on Ms. Kenobi’s level,”  Ben drained his coffee and gave everyone his best glare. "May I leave now?"

"I didn't think that we invited you to stay once you said your piece." Rey shrugged at him, eyes on Poe and Cassian who remained remarkably quiet. "Can you contact Finn’s agent, see if he’s too booked to do it or not? I’m trying to remember if he’s recording now too."

Ben stalked out of the office and slammed the door behind him.

Rey looked up to the spot that Ben just vacated. "He's awfully touchy for someone who didn't want to help this capitalistic Barbie doll," she joked before turning back to the pile of resumes and headshots. "Worst come to worst, we just release a lyric video instead of an actual music video. The concept won't work without a leading man."    
  
The popstar sighed, rolling her eyes and muttering. “In the absolute worst case scenario, we ask Armitage to step in. I’m sure he’d just love it, but heaven knows I’ll be in jail for murder.” Poe snorted, and she raised her eyebrow. “If it does happen, I’m blaming you. I wasn’t here for everything, but knowing you and Cassian, if someone pissed him off, it was you, Dameron.”

A text message chimed on Ben’s phone - Armitage Hux had just sent him a message, “That’s cute that Rey Kenobi gave you a meeting for her new video. I’m seeing her later in the week. Some things just aren’t in your wheelhouse, Solo. Stick to playing Bryonic assholes and character parts. Kenobi likes them pretty and accessible.”  His temper had been at the boiling point in his meeting with Andor and Dameron, but it was now at explosive levels. Fuck Armitage Hux. That piece of shit. 

Ben slammed back into the conference room, "I'll do it, because if you use that insipid Hux in your video, I will have to kill myself because he will be everywhere. I hate him. I will do it for fucking free if it means you don’t use him," He crossed his arms, face contorted in rage. 

Rey knew that she was gaping at Solo, peering around him to see the dent the door handle had made in the wall with the force the actor had thrown it open. “You’re fucking with me.”

If Poe sputtered about her impolite slip, she didn’t hear him, quirking an eyebrow at Solo. “There’s no fucking way that you’d choose to do this after that…” she tilted her head, chuckling begrudgingly, “After that...colorful description you decided to give me. What’s the catch? Is he paying you?”

Ben uncrossed his arms and slid his phone across the table to Rey, “Believe me when I say that I will be in every goddamn music video that you do, if it means that you never call him again and that I will get to wipe the smirk of his face. I’ll do nude scenes. I don’t care. Whatever you want. I’m a professional.” 

Rey glanced at the message, rolling her eyes and scoffing under her breath. “To be completely candid, I was meeting with him this week to give him back the shit that he left at my place.” Glancing at Cassian, she shrugged, muttering, by ways of an explanation, “I swear, half of his belongings are just his headshots.” 

If she saw a reluctant smirk at the corner of Solo’s mouth when she turned back, she didn’t say anything, continuing, “But knowing him, he’d have begged for this, and honestly, we’re at a point that if we don’t get someone, it will be Hux.” Rey let her mouth harden, looking at Ben.

“If you absolutely want to do this, I can’t tell you not to. I won’t, because you seem like you’re the type to control your career down to every detail--which is honestly preferable. But I don’t want this dumbass to be the only reason you take the job.” Her eyes bored into his, keeping her voice level. 

Ben shrugged, “I am detail oriented, that’s true. My agent is a controlling old man who told me this was a bad idea, and now that Hux has told me that I  _ can’t _ do this, I really have to do it. The more someone tells me that I can’t do something, the more inclined I am to do it. I was not kidding earlier -  I’ll do multiple videos. Whatever you want. I am doing this, and I’ll be good at it. I don’t do anything halfway.”

Rey pushed herself up, circling the table to stand toe-to-toe with him, sizing him up, his phone still in her hand. “So let me get this straight-- I should book you because it’ll drive my ex-boyfriend, your enemy, as well as your agent up the wall and because you’ll be good at it.” She raised an eyebrow, as if challenging him to back down. 

Truth be told, she didn’t deal with a lot of people like this. Ben Solo seemed like an odd mix of Hollywood ruthlessness and nicety, which should have had her wary. Instead, it left her intrigued, watching his brown eyes flicker over her face, also sizing her up.

Ben sighed, “Fine. I’ll prove it. I just finished playing a boxer, so the shower stuff isn’t an issue.” He was wearing dark jeans, boots and a black thermal henley shirt. Without thinking, he pulled off his shirt and dropped it on the floor. He reached for Rey, grabbing her by the back of the head, lacing his fingers through her hair and pulling at it lightly as he learned forward as if to kiss her, “I’m extremely convincing. Okay?” Ben let go of Rey’s hair, took a step back and put  his shirt back on, “That’s basically what you need, right?” Ben looked tired and bored. 

Rey could feel Cassian and Poe gaping behind her, and despite her shock and the odd fluttering in her stomach, the popstar doubled up in laughter. It was probably the hardest that she laughed in months, and she felt tears springing from her eyes. “It is, but also not. But thank you for that display--it’s nice to know that an actor can still block a make-out scene.” 

She shouldn’t have enjoyed the annoyed quirk of his mouth, the surprised lift of his brows. It was as if he expected her to melt instantly and she snorted. She may sing of love all the time, and be quite the alleged “serial dater,” but she had been in show business too long to be swept up by acting. 

“I have no idea what you were thinking when you dated Hux, but you were clearly too much for him. That would have worked on literally anyone else. I’m honestly impressed. You’ve got an icy heart, Kenobi. I like it,” Ben plucked his phone from Rey’s hands, his smile slightly more genuine.

“Considering the fact that dating him was like a year-long practicing in acting, it’s hard to impress me with much anymore.” Rey smirked at him.

“Well, you can’t have a producer autotune sex, so I’m not surprised to hear that you’ve had a master class in faking it.” 

Rey snorted at that, actually genuinely snorted with laughter. “Oh, you have no idea. I could probably give you a run for your money.”

“Thanks, but I’ll pass on that class, Meg Ryan,” he looked at a gobsmacked Cassian and Poe, “So, is this going to happen or did I take my shirt off for nothing?” 

“Well, since you  _ did  _ try to impress me with your impromptu shirtless scene, I suppose I’m morally obligated to offer you the job.” Rey rolled her eyes, lightly punching his arm, as if they had been friends for years. “Don’t get cocky, Solo.”

“I definitely impressed you - your dilated pupils tell another story, princess.”  

“What can I say? My body apparently appreciates good acting, which is how I know Armitage is a bad actor.” Rey definitely heard Poe sputter with that joke, and she tried to swallow a grin, attempting to look innocent again. So much for her image.

Ben looked over at Cassian, who was giving him a calculated stare, something like a father might give a man who’d come over to pick up his daughter. He also seemed a lot like a director who’d just seen something  _ unexpected _ that he wanted to chase down a creative rabbit hole. Whoever the guy was, he seemed intense and invested in the project, despite his silence. 

“Any objections? Poe? Cassian?” Rey turned away from Ben to look over her shoulder as if she just fully remembered that they had been sitting there the entire time. Poe huffed quietly, obviously still perturbed. 

“He called you a capitalistic, fake feminist Barbie. That doesn’t exactly scream ‘easy to work with’.” He looked at Ben warily. “No offense. But you can’t exactly say that sort of thing about...about…” He gestured helplessly, trying not to specify Rey. “...your costar, you know?” 

Cassian rubbed at his chin, “He’s intense, and has chemistry with Rey. I’ve seen his other work, and I can’t imagine you’d do this if you aren’t willing to fully commit. Particularly, given your display… I see this being a longer project, honestly. If you don’t kill each other, I’d like to have Ben back for the next two singles. I have some ideas.” 

Rey hummed, glancing back at Ben. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to smile or try to remain serious, sizing him up again. “I’m not quite sure that I could kill him--he played a boxer, Cassian. He’s absolutely shredded.” Her lips quirked into a smile now, and she wondered if he just flushed. “Sorry-- that was probably weird to say.” 

“No weirder than your agent saying that casting me because I’m not pretty would make you seem interesting. It’s nothing that I haven’t heard or read about me before.” 

She shot a glare at Poe before turning back. “I apologize for him. As you can guess from Hux’s  _ helpful  _ commentary, a lot of the guys I work with are typecast. I wanted to do something more artistic and serious.” She glared at Poe again. “In  _ content,  _ not  _ looks.”  _

“Just next time, don’t let the guy who looks he should be getting typecast in your videos insult people you’re attempting to hire. I’m sorry I lashed out. My mouth works faster than my brain,” Ben tapped his phone against the palm of his hand, trying to hide his impatient and nervous energy. 

Rey smiled, genuinely smiled, at him, snorting. “Usually Poe thinks before he talks but sometimes… well, let’s just say his foot and mouth are well acquainted.”

“So, is this happening? According to the paperwork you emailed me, you start shooting in two days. I don’t mean to push you, but I know my dog is chewing something expensive at home,” Ben regretted mentioning Trooper, but he needed to make sure that he could have him on set in his dressing room.

“This is happening, unless one of us dies, is kidnapped or y’know, you have second thoughts.” 

“I don’t do second thoughts.” 

“Good. Neither do I.” Rey hated how warm she felt, internally scolding herself for how quickly he had maybe won her over. There was a good chance that he still didn’t like her, that he only was being polite. However, it was either him or Hux, and Rey knew for a fact that she didn’t want to cut her career short with a murder charge.

“Great. Email me the particulars,” he nodded to Cassian and Poe before turning on his heel and exiting the conference room, closing the door with a soft click.  

Rey settled back into her seat, looking at the two men across from her. “Well, I’m fully awake, and I didn’t even have coffee this morning. This should be fun.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Hersisterskeeper](http://hersisterskeeper.tumblr.com) is the voice of common sense and Rey Kenobi. [Pythia](http://pythiaspeaks.tumblr.com) is the voice of Ben Solo.


	2. Blank Space- Taylor Swift

If there was anything that Rey liked about shooting music videos, it was being theatrical. Even with this one, where the setting was mundane, the costumes simple, the action more ‘true-to-life,’ there was still a certain bit of novelty and excitement that she felt with it still. She knew how strange actors could be, and honestly, it made every shoot more novel.

Her first music video love interest brought his mother every day to set. The next one would stay in character the whole time, but in that annoying, ‘will only respond to you if you call them by their character name,’ which made directing him impossible, seeing that they hadn’t thought to name him. By this point in time, Rey was experienced with every weird quirk that could come up during filming. She was sure that Ben Solo, as with everything she had seen with him, would be the exception.

Considering the fact that when she strolled on set later that morning and had seen him walking about  _ shirtless already _ , despite the more risque scenes not being filmed for another two hours, the only conclusion that she could draw was that she was wrong. So very, very wrong. The popstar cleared her throat, hand wrapping tighter around the tea in her hand, trying to keep her eyes straight ahead. Past him was her trailer, and if she could get there without staring, she’d be safe.

She had barely made it five steps before she could see a distinct Ben-shaped form approaching her in her peripherals and she simply sped up, her cheeks flushing. “Don’t you have a cowl or something?” God, it was too early for this, and Rey just knew that he’d say something later, could practically hear the smirk on his face when he laughed. It sent a shiver up her spine, and she all but ran the last few steps, her makeup artist raising an eyebrow as the singer flew into the trailer.

No, actors couldn’t be normal, it seemed.

 

Ben had flopped into his chair wearing a pair of sweatpants and a zip-up hooded sweatshirt he had retrieved from his trailer after getting fitted for wardrobe. They’d opted to dress him in the clothes he arrived in - a pair of black pajama pants and an old t-shirt he’d gotten at a thrift store years before. They didn’t have another shirt for him to put on, so he’d gone back to his trailer partially dressed, only to bump into a red-faced Rey who asked him to put on a cowl? Who the fuck was he supposed to be? Batman?

He’d put on the sweatshirt and then run into Cassian who’d brought him a script for a film that he was set to direct in a year or so. Even without working with Ben first, Cassian seemed to think that he would be an excellent fit for the project. It was worth a read. Snoke seemed hell-bent on him working on The West End at some point, but leaving New York didn’t feel very appealing. Booking a second project without Snoke would feel really good, particularly if it was a  _ good  _ project that came from working with Rey Kenobi. 

 

Rey slipped into her chair next to Ben’s, still careful not to look at him. She didn’t remember waking up as her middle-school self, back when her sister Kira could get her to blush by pointing at any tween star and sing-song “Rey wants to marry him!” However, here she was, remembering how her sister had all but squealed when she heard that Ben Solo--  _ the  _ Ben Solo-- was shooting a music video with Rey. 

It was nice that he seemed quiet, and the singer just let herself sink into the quiet as well, tucking her legs under her as she focused on her copy of the storyboard, pencil in hand. This was the first time she had complete creative control over her videos, and she had been tweaking the little details as much as she could. She wanted to make some sort of art--kissing princes and playing the damsel was no longer acceptable. Not after all the tabloids’ comments. Not after Hux had tried to crucify her image. 

Leaning over, she tapped Ben on the shoulder with the pencil. “Honest opinion: are you okay with being shirtless half the time, or nah?” She showed him the storyboard, gesturing. “There are a few scenes where we had you shirtless for some reason but you absolutely can keep your shirt on.”

Ben grunted and looked over at Rey before closing his script and unzipping his sweatshirt to reveal that he was shirtless under his hoodie, “Here’s the thing - Dameron booked me an appointment to get waxed? So I am going to be shirtless as much as humanly possible to justify that amount of pain. I’m not a particularly hairy guy, okay? But that really fucking hurt.” 

Rey tried to cover her smile, lifting the storyboard pad up to cover the lower half of her face. “Of course he was the one who booked the appointment.” She rolled her eyes, “Any way I can make up for how extra my agent is? If you want, we can get him a bit buzzed after shooting and pick up the cheap waxing strips from Rite-Aid and get revenge.”

It was obvious that Rey was looking him in the eye in a deliberate effort to keep from looking at his shirtless torso. Her earlier description of him being “shredded” was pretty accurate. For the six months before his last job, Ben trained intensively and been on a strict diet. It was sort of nice to fluster someone with the results. 

A short, round-faced and frankly adorable woman strolled up to Ben and shook a bottle of shower oil at him, “Hi! I’m Rose, and I am supposed to oil you up before you guys get into the shower. Cassian wanted to get the water stuff out of the way first, so he switched up the shooting order. I’m also supposed to tell Rey that she needs to check her email more.” Rose smiled brightly at Ben, “So, do you want me to do this, or do you want to do this?” 

“I can do the front if that’s okay, can you just get the parts that I can’t reach?” Ben grinned at Rey and stripped off his sweatshirt, allowing Rose to squirt a portion of oil into his outstretched hand. He slapped it on to his bare chest while making eye contact with Rey, “So, how’s your creative vision coming along? Is this working for you?” 

“It’s reminding me why I don’t have shower scenes in my music videos if that’s what you're really asking.” With a sigh, Rey yanked her cover-up over her head, thankful for ‘old faithful’ as her friend and makeup artist Jessika had dubbed the nude bikini the star wore for any scene requiring a lot of skin. Turning away from Ben, she bent slightly, trying to shuck her pants smoothly, as if she wasn’t ready to crawl under the craft services’ table.

  Properly oiled up, Ben and Rey stood inside the shower set, not under the steaming water that had started to pour out of the tap.  In the scene, he was supposed to press Rey into the shower wall and kiss her repeatedly. It was like someone had created an entire video concept to just make him utterly miserable.

She gave Ben a friendly smile and he responded with a sarcastic smile of his own. This was probably not how either one of them wanted to spend their day, oiled up and feigning romance.  

Cassian shouted, “Action” and Ben moved forward, pressed Rey against the fake shower wall, muttering “Hail Mary”  into her neck before kissing her thoroughly under the warm spray of water. At least he was warm and miserable. 

Rey caught herself before she snickered at Ben’s mumbled prayer, her arms instinctually wrapping around Ben’s neck, carefully slipping up on her tiptoes to angle her head so as to block the camera’s view of their mouths. She knew how to stage kiss, but it almost was as if Ben didn’t care, as if he was being extra thorough, his hand coming up to catch her chin, tilting her mouth against his in a frantic slant. Rey knew that she was flushing and warm, and it wasn’t because of the water. 

Despite this, she let her mouth open in a quiet moan as Ben's kisses dipped closer to her collarbone, her fingers reflexively finding his hair, which was getting damper under the shower's stream. In a moment, he was pulling back, looking at her, and she hated how her stomach dropped with dread. Right-- he was supposed to pick her up, feign a less innocent shower activity than kissing. If Rey’s blush wasn’t obvious before, it definitely was now, especially against the nude bathing suit.

Ben’s gaze slipped over her as if he was hungry and she was just prey, perfect to be eaten in one bite. It made her shiver, and she wanted to call cut, take a moment, try to get everything under control. She was a professional. She didn’t lose her cool over kissing actors, especially for work. 

   Ben leaned in and kissed Rey softly on the mouth before following Cassian's shouted direction to hoist Rey up and allow the younger woman to wrap a leg around his waist. Ben sighed inwardly-- it was an awkward day. 

Rey’s embarrassed flush was obvious to him, as they were on top of each other and making out. It was clear that she wanted to have this over with quickly, and Ben couldn’t blame her - he did too. The end product would be incredibly sexy, but the path of that end product would also be technical and awkward.

Pushing Rey’s arms above her head and holding them in place while kissing her neck, Ben felt Rey’s skin grow even warmer. He had started to feel a bit flushed too. It was hard not to sort of wish that this was real life and not work. Ben was realistic, despite his job of pretending to be various people for money. 

Rey was embarrassed because she was with him, and Ben was embarrassed because this was the weirdest thing he’d ever done for a job, including pretending to masturbate on camera. It was weird because he sort of liked Rey, which would stop immediately after this scene. 

Ben felt Rey tense against him, muscles clenching, making it more difficult for him to hold her up. He brushed a strand of wet hair out of Rey's eyes and leaned in to whisper into her ear, "I promise you're safe. I won't drop you," before pressing a kiss to her throat.

"I actually wish you would." She muttered back, taking the opportunity to nip at his ear, hearing Cassian's pleased wolf-whistle.Rey nearly squeaked, feeling Ben’s hand gingerly cup her ass, trying to redistribute her weight, looking apologetic. Once again, she was reminded how long it had been since she had sex, since she had even been interested in someone like this, and of course, it came at the worst time.

It was almost hard to hold onto Ben when she looked up into his eyes, her stomach launching itself into a free-fall when his dark brown eyes gazed into her hazel eyes, as if he actually liked her, even loved her.  _ No no no no no no no no no  _ **_NO_ ** _.  _

Stifling an embarrassed groan, she buried her face in his neck for a moment. Great, a crush on her co-star. That’s exactly what she needs to start developing at this exact moment. If she wasn’t at an actual risk of breaking her ass, she’d make him drop her right now. She could go into hiding. Anything but this.

Ben nuzzled Rey and whispered, "Why do you want me to drop you? You’d get hurt. It’d delay shooting.” He pulled a little at her hair, so Rey’s face was out towards the camera as he continued to nuzzle her neck. It wasn’t a direction from Cassian, but it seemed like the right thing to do in that moment. 

"If I break my ass in this shower, it'd definitely convince Cassian to scrap the scene." She touched her nose to his, feigning a fond smile. “I’m suddenly doubting that thing you loathe--my creative vision or whatever.”  _ And because, you know, you’re too good at this and I’d like to film a music video without having my love life dissected by the media and myself. My sad, practically nonexistent love life.   _

He ran his hand along her throat and down to Rey's shoulder.  "Hah.  I don’t do second thoughts, remember? I’ve committed." Cassian called cut and he set down Rey onto her feet before donning a bathrobe a helpful PA held out to him.

"Of course not." She muttered, quirking a smile, finally breathing, nodding to the PA as she shrugged on the proffered robe, tying the belt around her as quickly as she could. Anything to hide her shame, Rey biting her lip, realizing how wet--in every sense of the word she was.  _ My god, I need to get laid. This is not okay. _

Rey sighed, turning on her heel and wringing out her hair as she walked away, convinced that she needed to take a walk, if not a run, in the opposite direction of Ben. Just for a bit. She wouldn’t flee the country, but god, would it be tempting. She smoothed her face, forced a smile, trailing over to Cassian to watch the playback with him, wishing that it didn't already look so good, even before editing,

In his trailer was Ben's dog, Trooper, a black lab that he'd found in Toronto while doing a play two summers ago. Trooper was ridiculous and sweet, jumping all over Ben as he clipped him to a leash and took him out for a quick walk. As Trooper sniffed everything he watched Rey watch the playback with Cassian, a serious look on her face as she gesticulated towards the screen.

Rey Kenobi was twenty-five years old and he couldn't figure out whose hair-brained idea it was to cast him in a music video. It was completely ridiculous to even imagine them together. He was five years her senior, "unconventionally attractive" and more of a brooder than a lover.

Rey glanced up from the playback screen, frowning instinctually at her co-star's almost morose gaze as it shifted to her. She was fairly certain that the man always looked as if someone pissed in his cornflakes every morning, even if he was in good mood. He stuck out like a sore thumb on set, everyone else moving around him and his dog cheerfully, busily, content with their lives and where they were going.

The singer jolted a bit as Rose gently shook her shoulder, her expression gentle and almost amused. "Come on-- let's get you dry before the next scene, right, Cassian?"

The director nodded, distracted for a moment longer but agreeing that they didn't need any more shower scenes--which possibly was the best news Rey had ever received in her lifetime, even outranking her first Grammy win. She followed the shorter woman, feeling as if there were two eye-sized holes being bored into the back of her head. She didn't dare look back. She knew who it was.

 


	3. Stay-- Ryan Adams

When Rey had written the song, “Blank Space,” she hadn’t been sure who she had been writing about. There were multiple theories, to be sure-- maybe it was about Hux or the media. Maybe it was about her dating life in general. Still, if you asked her about it now, as she sat on set for the music video, she wouldn’t be able to tell you still, if she even heard you ask the question, her eyes still focused on the storyboard in her hand, even as Ben sank down next to her on the overstuffed couch.

 

Poe had suggested the setting be opulent, with a scene of her and her “beau” destroying the place as they fought. Cassian had suggested a more mundane setting, a more realistic love-and-loss story. Ultimately, both ideas had been married, resulting in the fairly average apartment set they were spending the day in. Later tomorrow, they’d practically burn it to the ground. Rey wasn’t sure if she or Ben was more excited about it. But before that, they needed to have their fight scenes, and before  _ that _ , they needed to finish up their second to last love scene.

 

“I see that you’re still shirtless, even though you literally can wear a shirt in this scene.” Ben just hummed at her, a smirk tugging up at the corner of his mouth like he had the world’s best secret. As long as that secret wasn’t knowing that she still felt dizzy and flushed over their kissing scenes this morning, Rey figured she’d survive, glancing back at the storyboard.

 

This was another kissing scene-- _ will wonders ever cease, _ Rey thought wryly, wishing she wrote something besides love songs-- but more playful at first, before building up to something slow, languid and sexy. She knew that this scene wouldn’t be so bad--after all, she had survived the scene where she and Ben had “cooked” in the kitchen, the singer being perched up on the counter, talking in between kisses and bites of food that her co-star treated her with as he moved between her spot and the stove.

 

She wasn’t sure why that scene had been easier--Cassian joked it was because Ben had his shirt on for once-- but it made her ache in a way very different from how the shower scene had left her. It made her think about how she actually wanted a relationship to go--something sweet, mundane, normal. The fact that she was only experiencing this on a video set was probably sadder than she’d ever want to admit, especially to Ben, her heart beating faster when he leaned closer to peer over her shoulder.

 

Ben and Rey were now in an apartment that they supposedly shared in the video. The next few scenes were just of them doing normal couple stuff. They were watching tv while laying about in pajamas and playfully wrestling before letting things escalate into a love scene. It was certainly realistic, as Ben had just brought his own black pajama pants and a t-shirt from a random high school. He settled down on the overstuffed couch and waited for Rey to come on set.

 

For most of the morning, Rey had seemed distracted. Once the cameras started recording, she was focused and entirely in their scenes. In between takes, she was someone else entirely, spending a lot of time on her phone and distractedly humming to herself. Ben couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed, he was certainly unhappy about being here and parading around like a piece of ass. The entire concept was humiliating, but he’d rather embarrass himself this way than let Hux have another one on him. Ben would be spending a good portion of his day pretending to fuck Rey Kenobi on a couch. Lots of actors were in the business to do things that they’d never get to do in real life. Fuck his life.

 

Rey made another lyric note to herself in her phone, frowning slightly at her phone and everything she had had there. Writing her own songs had always come easy, had always been her edge. Now it felt as if that spring was drying up, and she wondered if the speculation around her was right, if she really couldn't write without some source of inspiration or experience.  She felt someone nudge her and she looked up to see Ben looming over her, awkward and his eyes practically burning on her.

 

"Please don't tell me that we're doing another take." Even though her tone was light and joking, Rey was fairly certain if she would slip up and get too into the scene if she had to do it one more time. She almost wondered if it was too late to scrap the entire project.

 

“Looks like it, we get to do the couch scene next. I’m sure it’ll be fine, right? Just grit your teeth and bear it,” he tried to make a lighthearted joke, but it was clear that Rey was as unhappy about the arrangement as he was. They’d been cool and professional, making very little conversation between takes, but Rey’s behavior just didn’t match up with who she’d been at their first meeting.  “I know it’s not my place. That we’re not actually friends or anything, but are you ok?”

 

Rey stared at him, a bit dumbfounded, her hand reaching up to smooth her hair before she yanked it away, remembering that any slight change to her appearance would have a small horde of makeup and hair artists descending on her.

 

There was no good way to say,  _ oh having to do these scenes reminds me that I've been alone and lonely for a good long time and I don't know how to fix the situation.  _ So she didn't say that, shrugging instead.

 

"I'm trying to write more songs for the album, but chasing down lyrics are a bitch." Her phone buzzed, a new message coming in, and she sighed, passing the phone for Ben to look. "Especially when your ex is texting every 10 minutes to try and get a rise out of you."

 

“Send him a photo of us together. It’ll shut him up,” Ben tried to sound normal and like he wasn’t fuming at the idea of Hux fucking with someone. Rey seemed pretty nice. She hadn’t tried to make small talk with him, instead focusing on the job ahead of them. He chewed on his lip, trying to figure out how to explain Hux’s particular brand of creep to Rey.

 

“Look, he’s only doing this because he wants to control you and your feelings. Jerking you around is how he gets off. I’ve seen him do it to other women over the years--he’s a bastard. Just block him after you send him that photo.” Ben couldn’t really keep the tension out of his voice - he was always tense. Even when medicated.

 

"He'll probably start blowing up your phone to question your motives and why you're on set." She rolled her eyes. "For some reason, he didn't believe me when I told him, to his face, that we had booked you. Asshole."

 

Ben pulled out his phone and tapped out a text message to Hux, before putting his arm around Rey and holding his phone out to take a selfie, “Smile big princess, like we’re actually happy to be here.”

 

Ben snapped the photo, nodded his approval and locked his phone with an electronic click.

 

"What did you send him?" She turned in her chair to better look at him, looking him full in the face for maybe the first time between takes today, feeling a flush nearly flood her cheeks.  He almost looked surprised by how energetic she suddenly was, nose not buried in her phone, and she rolled her eyes at him. "C’mon, Solo. Tell me."

 

“So, I punched him in the face two weeks ago.”

 

"Did you threaten to punch him again in the text you just sent, or is there more to the story for me to ask you about?" Rey tried not to smirk at the idea of Ben punching her ex-boyfriend, more surprised that Hux didn't have a broken nose or anything.

 

“I did threaten to punch him in the face again...He's cruel. He knew how insecure I am about how I look, and that I am not into this shit for the fame, so he told his journalist all about it. It's on sale today, all my insecurities for sale for five bucks. That’s why I’m here, spite and pride. Not my best moment.” He looked embarrassed and tired, absently rubbing the knuckles on his left hand where there were old scabs that almost healed.

 

Rey glanced down at Ben's hand, avoiding his eyes for a moment before venturing, "Well, if it makes you feel better, I also had an interview come out today, and of course they asked about Armitage."

 

She pushed herself out of her seat before stretching, her shirt riding up just enough to expose a strip of her skin. Continuing, she smiled, "They asked me about him, and seeing that they weren't going to let it go, I told them most of the dirt I have on him. How he's a slob, how dramatic he is, how he doesn't know what to do when challenged."

 

Rey looked at Ben a bit slyly if not mortified as well. "When they asked me about sex with Hux, I told them that, while typing this article up, all they'd need to do to see the size of his dick would be to hit the spacebar three times, and maybe that was being generous."

 

Shrugging with a sigh, the popstar turned back to her phone for a moment, saving the lyric she had been writing. “You're not the only one doing things because of spite and pride. And that's probably not comforting, but maybe knowing that my interview is going head to head with his is."

 

Ben paused, “Wow. So he’s a cheater, a liar, a terrible lover, and has a small penis. Maybe I should try dating again.”

 

Rey laughed at that, shaking her head. "I'm sure that you'll find that with all things, you're better than Hux. Hopefully that doesn't come as a surprise." She tried to quell her grin, only succeeding in making it shrink just a little, hiding the rest behind her hand.

 

“I would like to strive for more than just being better than Hux, you know? I have some pride. Not much after this video, but some.”

 

Rey winced, nodding. "This is the last time I let Poe have an ounce of creative control over what I do in music videos. I'm all about making my image more mature, but rubbing myself all over a good looking guy is probably not the best way to do it."

 

She glanced at Ben, apologetic. "Not that rubbing up against you is awful. It's very nice, just very awkward."

 

He cocked his head, “Very nice but awkward? Can I put that on my resume? Rey Kenobi recommends 6/10 - very nice but awkward?”

 

"It's more like 7/10, 8/10 during certain scenes. But yes, put me on your reference page so I can tell them how good you are at convincing girls you want to bone them when really you're just acting."

 

“See, you made fun of me for the shirt thing, but you were into it. Julliard was worth every penny, right?” Ben pretended to be smooth and winked at Rey, “I did learn the hair thing from a YouTube video.”

 

"Jesus, Solo, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were full of yourself." She rolled her eyes, stepping closer. "For the record, you really didn't need to take your shirt off. All you had to say was 'Yes, I can do this and take it seriously.' Methinks you just wanted to show off."

 

She smiled at him sweetly, reaching up to jokingly pinch his cheek. "But it's adorable that you think you made me hot and bothered."

 

There was a good chance that he'd call her out on her bluff, especially when she had to be under him again for that scene re-shoot, but for a moment, it was fun to see him almost blush.

 

“Well, I’m not into group performances, sweetheart. And that wasn’t enough for me to get excited, I prefer for other people to be full of me, thanks.”

 

Rey moaned, squeezing her eyes shut in appreciation and disappointment at the comment. "I don't even know if you're joking, Solo. I'm so glad this project hasn't demoralized you enough to spare me from your humor."

 

Cassian walked off the apartment set and clapped Rey on the shoulder, “Looks like we’re good to start shooting the couch scene. Ben, I hope you’re ready to be shirtless again.”

 

“Absolutely. I went to drama school to be a piece of ass Andor, I’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life,” Ben drawled as he sloped off to the couch where he flopped down and patted the cushion next to him, indicating where Rey should sit.

 

Ben sighed and watched Rey flop onto the opposite end of the couch. He saw Cassian's face darken and knew that he would have to be the adult for this scene. It sucked. Ben gave Cassian a meaningful look, before he got up, walked over to Rey, sat down and pulled her into his lap. She squealed and tried to pull away, batting his hands. "Nope, you picked me, princess, so we're doing this right. I don't do shitty work," Ben whispered in Rey's ear before kissing her on the tip of her nose.

 

"We've done this at least 5 times already-- there's no need for you to try and change things up." She shifted on his lap, trying to get more comfortable, eventually turning to straddle and face him. "Besides, the cameras aren't rolling yet."

 

“Cassian is always recording. I’m not sure if you know, but the red light means the camera’s on. If that camera is on, that means we’re working.”

 

Rey almost wanted to glare at him, shifting awkwardly in his lap, hoping that he couldn't feel the heat between her thighs. She thought the leggings would allow her more coverage and modesty, but now she realized that if she wanted more coverage and modesty, she'd have to become a nun once this music video wrapped.

 

Gingerly, she leaned forward, kissing his temple and whispering in his ear, "Careful, Solo, you almost sounded like Hux for a moment."

 

“Wow, you say the nicest things to me, Rey,” Ben shifted slightly and adjusted how Rey’s legs around his waist. “Definitely America’s sweetheart.”

 

"Anything for my self-sacrificing and borderline masochistic costar," she whispered back, Cassian's call of "Action," launching her forward, her lips on Ben's in an instant.

 

Annoyed, Ben again laced his fingers through Rey’s hair, but pulled it roughly, chuckling at the little noise that she made under her breath, “Nope. I’m feeling more sadistic today.” He bit at her neck lightly, something that they hadn’t discussed prior, but since she was grinding against him without commenting on his lack of erection (thank god for anti-depressants) it was probably fine. There was no way Rey was into this anyway, only his hindbrain seemed to be enjoying the moment.

 

Rey hoped that he thought she was acting when she moaned lightly, startled at the feel of his teeth against her skin. "You're not very nice, you know that?"'

 

In a moment, she was on her back, gasping as Ben slipped a hand up her shirt, pretending to cup her breast. His lips were against hers again, trying to coax her mouth open, and Rey absently ground herself against Ben's leg as he kneeled between her thighs, his face half reverence, and half depravity.

 

“You didn’t cast me because I’m nice, you cast me because I’m excellent at what I do and we both get to upset Hux in the process. This is just work.”

 

Rey didn't reply, nuzzling her nose against Ben's neck, kissing and sucking a path of marks along his throat. If he asked her, she'd say that she was feeling petty, feign innocence. However, there was something too good, too delicious, about marking a man like Ben Solo, even if it was essentially make-believe.

 

Ben pulled away from Rey, feeling the telltale burn of new hickeys along his neck, shooting her a glare disguised as a smolder, “I am honestly going to kill you for those. I bruise like crazy.”

 

He pulled harder at Rey’s hair, “Don’t leave marks, okay?”

 

"Oh, poor baby. I'm  _ so _ sorry." Rey sighed at Cassian's next yelled direction, her fingers slipping under the hem of Ben's shirt to help him pull it off. She snuck a kiss or two from him as if they were actually a couple, eager to get their hands on each other. Rey just hoped this looked realistic.

 

“I have to see my mom later this week, and I really don’t want it to look like I’ve been mauled by a guitar-wielding Disney Princess,” Ben shivered at the cold, “We should take your shirt off next time.”

 

Ben leaned back and gave Rey a sunny smile as if he was actually enjoying himself instead of cursing his inability to let anything fucking go. Being motivated by spite and anger was really great until it landed you completely shirtless, aroused and with a girl whose entire interest in you was professional.

 

Rey returned the smile, though mischievously, sitting up slightly as if to kiss him... but instead, her hands hooked themselves under the hem of her shirt and she was pulling it over her head, not particularly embarrassed at flashing her black bra clad chest to the entire set.

 

Someone wolf-whistled, and she tried not to chuckle, tossing the shirt aside before pushing Ben back to straddle him again. "It only seems fair," she murmured before nipping at his ear. He looked about ready to swallow his tongue.

 

“Kenobi, taking tit for tat to the next level,” Ben grumbled as he ran his hands up her back and gave her an adoring look.

 

"Solo, definitely looking a horse gift-- or a half-dressed popstar-- in the mouth." She murmured back, biting her lips to keep from smirking. She almost wanted to be offended by how utterly disinterested he seemed to be-- but no, she forced herself to be grateful.

 

Anything to nip this possible attraction in the bud. Ben's hands had found her hips, and she tried not to focus too much on his eyes or lips, focusing on his nose instead, as if she'd turn to stone, should she dare look away.

 

“No, because I don’t want to think about how much your dental work costs,” Ben shot back as he stared at the space between Rey’s eyebrows. The realism of the scene was strange - Rey wasn’t wearing any makeup, only a couple of dots of pimple cream on her cheeks. The idea was that they were just hanging around, being normal until they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. The Honeymoon Phase, Cassian had called it. Ben didn’t know anything about it. His parents had fought constantly as a child until he’d moved in with his Uncle Luke when he signed his first contract with Disney at ten.

 

Rey rolled her eyes, wishing that she could just get up and walk off the set. "Last time I make a joke and do something less than vanilla," she murmured to herself, ignoring Ben's gaze.

 

It was hard to pull herself back into it all, seeing that the last person to have been so disinterested in her during an occasion like this had been Hux. That was a thought that she hadn't needed at that moment, but she tried not to dwell on it, dragging her hands down Ben's chest, as if admiring him from above.

 

“Taking your shirt off is like, a pretty basic sex move. If that’s your idea of kinky sex, then Cinderella must have been your sex ed teacher,” Ben whispered in her ear, “I cannot believe that for a second.”

 

" _ Fuck off _ , Ben." She muttered back, glancing at Cassian and shaking her head, getting up to find her shirt the second he called cut.  She found Ben's shirt first and threw it in his face, her own shirt a foot or so away. She shouldn't be angry, or annoyed, or even on the verge of tears, but she was, yanking the fabric over her head, suddenly more self-conscious than she'd ever been before.

 

Ben pulled on his shirt raising an eyebrow at Rey’s retreating figure as she stalked offset. Cassian looking up almost surprised as she rushed past him, her bare feet slapping against the cold set's floor.

 

"Well." The director looked deflated, almost frozen as he met Ben's gaze. "I've been doing music videos with her for 7 years and not once has she stormed off. Congratulations."

 

Ben shrugged, "I was actually being nice to her." He sat up and sighed deeply before following Rey to her trailer. Fuck. A few PAs and other members of staff tried to follow him and Rey, but he threw up a hand as if to ward them off.

 

Rey felt sick to her stomach, wondering if she should walk back, apologize, but there were tears slipping from her eyes faster than she could stop them, and she let her trailer door fall shut behind her.

 

She never cried on music video sets, unless on cue. This definitely wasn't acting, the singer plucking up a pillow from her trailer's couch to bury her face in, arms wrapping tightly around it as she sobbed. This was a disaster of her own making, and that thought made her want to puke.

 

Ben first went to his trailer and got his secret weapon: Trooper. The friendly black lab was his therapy dog, and definitely his better half, even though Trooper spent half the day licking his own genitals.  With Trooper in tow, Ben just walked into Rey’s unlocked trailer, finding Rey in tears.

 

"Okay, what's actually wrong? Because it cannot just be me being an insecure asshole. He flopped on the couch next to her, "You know I am not going to leave or lie to you. I told you what I thought of pop music and those who make it when we first met... You still wanted to work with me. So, what's really going on? Break up? Shitty night recording?"

 

Trooper sniffed at Rey’s crotch and Ben batted him away, “Damn it, Troop, buy her dinner first, you dirty dog.”

 

Rey wasn't sure if she wanted to giggle at that or cry harder, her face flushing darker as she curled up more. She couldn't look Ben in the eyes, picking at a corner of the throw pillow.

 

"I didn't think those scenes would be so hard.  Trying to be appropriate and sexy is damn near impossible, and then I just... it's like I'm just annoying you the entire time, and I feel ridiculous for taking my shirt off."

 

She managed to tug a string loose at the border of the pillow, and she slowly wound it around her fingers. "The last time I felt as unattractive as I do now was with Armitage, and it makes me want to puke."

 

Ben paused for a minute, processing Rey’s statement about being both appropriate and sexy. What the fuck was her life like? He was grateful that Uncle Luke had invested his earnings from Disney before Ben sued for emancipation. He couldn’t imagine working in Hollywood while actually caring what people thought of you.

 

“Rey, I’m really sorry if this is inappropriate, but you’re ridiculously beautiful. You’re definitely not annoying me, we’re just working you know? But it sounds like well, there’s some shit about Armitage that you need to get off your chest. I cannot fathom anyone who is interested in women not wanting to get into bed with you,” Ben blushed and scratched at Trooper’s ear, trying to act cool about possibly sexually harassing a fellow actor while working.

 

Rey muttered something into the pillow, hoping that Ben wouldn't ask her to elaborate. Of course, he leaned forward, opening his mouth to ask her to repeat herself when she blurted it, louder: "He told me that my boobs are too small, my ass is nonexistent, and the only reason why someone would ever want to fuck me or call me pretty was because I sing okayish."

 

“What?” Ben pulled out his phone and pounded out a text message, obviously furious.

 

"What are you doing? Ben, it's okay." She watched him hit send, pocketing his phone again, brow still furrowed in anger. "What did you say?" Her voice was small, and she wished that she could snap her fingers and pretend that none of this had happened.

 

“I sent a text message to a reporter at VF that I like, Snap Wexley. I told him that I’d actually do a real interview - not an emailed questionnaire-- for their website about working with you and how great it is,” Ben pulled a face, “I hate interviews, but you are really great, Rey. Umm, all of you. Okay? Wexley owes me, or maybe I owe Wexley. Anyway, he’s the closest to a friend that I have. Well, he doesn’t really count because he’s a journalist.”

 

“Hux is actual garbage. He leered at literally every woman on set, made rude comments to the director and gave everyone hell. I have known him for years, and I genuinely want him to die slowly and painfully," Ben said angrily.

 

"You don't have to give an interview to defend me. It's okay." She forced a smile. "I shouldn't have taken my shirt off for that scene, and knowing Poe, it won't be making it into the video, thank god. It's okay. I'm okay."

 

She knew there was no chance that he'd believe her, seeing that tears were still slipping down her face. She hurriedly tried to wipe them away. "I shouldn't have done that. Or tried for anything sexy. I'm being super unprofessional right now."

 

“Hey, it’s just us okay? It’s alright if you want to get it out. And it’s an interview to talk about a new project with my friend Rey Kenobi - you don’t need to be defended. You’re always professional, even when taking your shirt off rather unexpectedly. I’m your fake boyfriend for the next three days or a real friend. Whatever. So, just get it out. I don’t have anyone to tell, and Trooper won’t post about it on Twitter,” Ben nudged Rey with his shoulder.

 

“My therapist is going to be really proud that I had a personal conversation with someone who’s not an Uber driver. Come on, Rey.”

 

"Do you often have personal conversations with Uber drivers?" Ben rolled his eyes at her, and Rey let out a small giggle. "Okay, okay. I just...didn't expect this to be so hard. I'm trying to 'grow up' with my image, but almost half of my fan base is in middle school, and it's hard to try anything daring when you just know that someone will flip out and try to drag you through hell in the press. And besides, I overestimated my self-confidence so much."

 

She stared down at the pillow, hard, as if she was trying to rip it apart with her eyes. "It's nothing against you-- you seem super wonderful and so professional, but honestly, being under you reminded me that there's a reason why I haven't been with anyone for a while. That there's a reason no one wants me, and it's not just because I'm a C-cup, though I knew that wouldn't impress you in the slightest."

 

"I'm so used to being treated like this virginal Disney Princess and like I'm not remotely sexy or hot or anything, so what happened on set shouldn't have surprised me. I just feel ridiculous for even trying."

 

“Rey. I haven’t had sex in three years. I’m always playing the weird best friend in movies. I’ve played a serial killer and a rapist on three separate occasions. This business fucks with your mind. That’s why I got out as a kid. I was cast at five months old in my mom’s movie. I left at 15 because I knew that people would never let me grow up. What you’re doing is really brave. You’re letting people see you change, and grow with you.”

 

"Yeah, they won't think that I'm maturing. I'm 80% sure that they'd click on the video for me and stay for you." She gestured at him. "You're really good looking and it's not fair."

 

“I could honestly kiss you for that. People are always making so much out of how I look. How tall I am. How unusual looking I am from the leading man stereotype. It’s fucking terrible. I’m just glad that I’m only working because I want to work. I don’t need to do this, not for money. I do this because it’s the thing that drives me, for better or worse.”

 

“I think we’re like that respect. And that you’re doing it because you’re passionate about it, but I think you’re learning that passion for something isn’t always the best thing. Because you’re unhappy with it or without it.”

 

"You're not wrong. Right now though, what's really dragging me under is that it's so easy to lose the passion for the littlest thing." Rey sighed, turning to look at Ben more, her chin resting on her hand as she leaned forward.

 

"And it's not the business necessarily-- it's more what people say to me personally. It's hard to pretend that you're having great sex when the guy you're pretending with is only here to get back at the ex who told you that he cheated on you because you weren't naughty enough. And that's not even taking into consideration on how many people are going to echo back Hux's opinion about my ass and other such things."

 

Rey snorted, shaking her head. "I mean, it won't be as bad as the time that someone tried to start a GoFundMe entitled 'Let's help Rey Kenobi get an ass,' but it's pretty damn close."

 

He shook his head, “I cannot believe that he actually justify cheating on you because you weren’t kinky enough? That is such bullshit. You need to stop listening to what other people say. You have an amazing ass, I definitely looked at it earlier and I’m not sorry.”

 

“And I’m coming back for the next video because this is weirdly fun. I do like working with you. I like that we just snipe at each other in the incredibly awkward and compromising situations invented by Poe and Cassian, those sadistic fucks. You have a smart mouth on you, and I enjoy it.”

 

"Thanks. It's my only defense anymore, especially when it comes to smartasses like you." Rey smiled and leaned closer. "You're probably the most tolerable actor I've worked with on a video, even though I'm essentially making you pretend to want to bone me 24/7." She nudged his shoulder. "Trust me, whatever the next single is, I'll be the one in the compromising position, not you."

 

“I enjoy being compromised by you for the most part,” Ben grinned, “ so, what do you need to help you get your head in the game? Do you need a drink? Take a walk? Pet my dog more?”

 

"Yeah, I don't believe that you like a moment of me being on top of you-- you looked absolutely miserable on the couch there, Solo." Trooper nudged Rey's hand and she laughed.

 

"I think Trooper made a decision for me." Rey patted the space between her and Ben, beckoning the dog up. Trooper happily obliged, nearly swatting Ben in the face with his tail as he settled his head on Rey's lap, chuffing quietly.

 

“I was more thinking about certain physical problems that I have thanks to my new medication. I didn’t know that it was a problem, until today. My doctor mentioned it might be an issue, but I never really thought about it,” he looked away, feeling his face flame bright red.

 

“Can we take a walk? It’s a little stuffy in here” Ben's voice sounded a little strangled, as if breathing or talking had suddenly become a problem.

 

"Wait, what?" Rey looked up from Trooper to see a flush creeping up from Ben's neck to his face as he stood. She wasn't quite sure if she had heard him correctly, smiling up at him before standing as well, sighing at how offended Trooper looked. "A walk would be nice. Should I wear something shapeless so you don't feel obligated to find my nonexistent ass?"

 

Ben picked up Trooper’s leash, “You can wear whatever you want, as long as we never talk about what I just told you.”

 

"As long as you don't ask me why I have to change, I'll definitely keep what you just told me to yourself." He raised an eyebrow at her and she rolled her eyes. "Ben, I wasn't planning on telling anyone anyways. Scout's honor."

 

“Your clothes are your business,” Ben tugged on Trooper’s red leash to keep from sniffing at Rey’s crotch again, “I feel like I should list you as my emergency contact or something. We’ve now bonded for life, spent hours in some form of undress, and revealed deep dark secrets.”

 

"Should I do the same? I don't know if I'd want you coming to my aid in an emergency." Her lips twisted up into a half smile. "You'd terrorize an emergency room staff with no issue, I think."

 

“I’ve spent more time putting people in emergency rooms, then visiting there. However, I am happy to terrorize an emergency stuff on your behalf.”

 

"You're already a better person than half the people I've met in the business then." She shooed him out then, rolling her eyes at his slight confusion.

 

"I need to change, Ben. I made a mess earlier and..." She heard what she was saying, her mouth quickly falling shut. There was a blush tinting her cheeks already as she hurried to shut the door, Ben's surprised and maybe amused face disappearing behind it.

 

Ben looked at Trooper, “Shut up.”

….

Stepping out of her trailer in jeans instead of leggings, Rey slid on a pair of sunglasses, pushing them up her forehead so she could pull her hair out of her bun. "I'm not sure how many paparazzos are out today, but if you want some sunglasses too, let me know."

 

It was probably odd for it to be so routine, but if anything, it was comforting too. Rey wondered if Ben had moved even an inch since she had sprung into action, realizing too late that her routine probably looked ridiculous through the eyes of a stranger.Still Ben stood there, amused, gesturing to her lips. "Felt the need to look extra pretty, princess?"

 

The fact that she had caught herself with a tube of scarlet lipstick in hand within seconds of changing made her feel ready to laugh and oddly defensive, the actor's eyebrows practically touching his hair.

 

"Sorry-- reflex." She turned away to shut her trailer door, sighing. "The world would probably collapse if I stepped out looking anything less than... well, perfect."Rey turned back to him, and she wasn't sure if she was happy or annoyed when Ben reached, rubbing his large thumb across her lips, smearing off the lipstick, his skin stained a bright angry red. His eyes were soft, brow furrowed as if to say 'you're enough' and Rey felt breathless, actually breathless, for the first time in her life.

 

He nodded as if satisfied, and wiped his finger off on a tissue, "Let the world collapse. That's not your job." Ben smiled fondly at Rey, “It’s just you and me, remember? Only put it on for you.”

 

"I think I feel more naked now than I did in the shower scene," Rey joked, gingerly touching her lips. She could tell that Ben was looking at her, but when she looked back at him, she couldn't figure out his expression, his face imperceptible. Still, she looped her arm in his, faux cheerful. "Okay. I’m ready."

 

"Come on Trooper, let's show a lady a good time."

 

"He's so sweet." Rey cooed, kneeling down to the dog's level, giggling at the dog's exuberant sniffing. "How old is he?" Turning back to the dog, she smoothed a hand down his back, smiling. "Will you help me sniff out a song?"

 

"He's three, I found him in Toronto when I was making a movie. We were both just puppies back then," Ben smiled fondly at Trooper, "He comes everywhere with me."

 

"What movie?" She straightened up, instinctively slipping an arm through his. She did this with everyone--Poe, Finn, her grandmother, her older sister, anyone who walked beside her-- but she usually never felt embarrassed or like blushing because of it. "Poe told me that I should watch more than your Disney days material, but when Kira--my older sister-- tried to get me to watch them, I accidentally fell asleep. I need to catch up."

 

"It was a psychological thriller. It was one where I play a serial rapist, so maybe skip that one? I've only watched it once because it was difficult for me to make," Ben smiled down at Rey, happy that she seemed to have perked up. His worries from earlier seemed to get swept away with each wag of Trooper's tail.

 

"Ooooh, that one. Too late." Rey made a face, wrinkling her nose. "Kira wanted to take me to it when it first came out. I lucked out and took her to the Grammys again. You probably would've given me nightmares for weeks if I watched." She nudged him, smiling. "Well, filmography wise, what would you suggest?"

 

Trooper was padding alongside them, his nails ticking across the smooth asphalt, panting happily, blissfully ignorant of the conversation. Ben hummed, "I actually made a romantic comedy a few years ago. With Dan Radcliffe, called What If. I play his insane music best friend. It's a sweet movie."

 

"That's more of my speed. Even if I'm sure I fell asleep with that one." She shrugged at his feigned aghast. "It's not my fault my sister wanted to help me do a crash course of your movies while I was on vocal rest after the last leg of a tour. I didn't even  _ know _ I'd be working with you. My sister just thinks you're cute."

 

He snorted, "Your sister must be very interesting."

 

"Usually we insist that she's the rational one who has good taste, so I'm going to continue trusting her judgment, including on this matter." She replied primly, pushing her sunglasses back down onto her face as they passed the studio's front entrance.

 

Rey tried not to squeeze Ben's arm too hard as they passed the gates, almost flinching with the worry that there would be photographers swarming about. She was used to it-- in the midst of the paparazzi, Rey was practically an ice queen, all sharp angles and smiles. But right before, she always reverted back to her nervous teenage self, as if she was encountering them for the first time.

 

"So, your sister picked me to be your fake boyfriend for a music video? I was wondering how I got on the list," Ben studiously looked at the sign Trooper was sniffing. He felt Rey squeeze his arm tight, "Are you ok? Do I need to punch someone?"

 

"She certainly helped with narrowing down the list. She was trying to get Chris Evans on the shortlist-- it’s like she wants to write fanfiction using me." Rey rolled her eyes. "It was mostly my agent and yours, but I had the final say. And the fact that your manners were completely awful sealed the deal." She chuckled at his confused face.

 

"And I'm fine. I just really hate jump scares and I'm pretty sure every paparazzo takes a course in just that."

 

"Why was that what sealed the deal?" Ben looked sidelong at Rey, trying to keep from feeling too flattered. He needed to talk to people that weren’t his therapist and Uber drivers. Ben Solo was twenty-nine years old and had a crush on the first woman that had paid attention to him in years. Well, the first woman that  _ he’d paid attention to and she sort of acknowledged that he was professional and attractive _ . Fuck. Over his head on day one. Great. Why didn’t tuition at Juilliard include a course on how not to develop feelings for your scene partner? Stupid school.

 

"Because I'm petty and wanted to torture you since you seemed to hate me." Rey deadpanned, shaking her head. "Nah, it's because I figured you would be pissed but determined to make the best of this-- even if you have to reduce yourself to being a 'piece of ass' instead of reciting Shakespeare."

 

Ben shrugged, "I'd just been humiliated by Hux and Vanity Fair over how I look. I honestly thought it was a joke. No matter how old I get, I am pretty sure that I will always feel fifteen and awkward."

 

"Yes, well, I'm sure you'll find that I'm the last person to consider Hux's opinion. He'd tell me one thing and I'd do the opposite. Another point in your favor." Rey frowned. Leave it to Hux and the media to suck the confidence out of someone more than capable of great things.

 

"So, should I add these points that I'm winning to my IMDB page?" Ben laughed and smiled,"I'll have to send your sister flowers. I'm glad to do anything that annoys Hux."

 

"All she did was squeal when I showed her your headshot-- she's not exactly a casting agent. She just about fainted when I jokingly threw in Orlando Bloom's headshot to keep her on her toes." Rey teased, chuckling.

 

"Again, he has to be pissy that I went with someone else for the music video-- for it to be you will just about have him shitting his pants." Her hand flew up to her mouth. "Excuse my French. I don't get to swear a lot."

 

"Jesus and I thought Disney fucked me up," Ben sighed, "Do you ever get to be normal? Have a beer with someone? Go to the grocery store?"

 

"I mean, sometimes I get to go out dancing, but usually it's not fun-- having to make sure you're ready to get your night ruined by your fame sucks. It makes me enjoy the grocery shopping."

 

She beamed brightly with a memory. "I go to Target whenever my new album drops so I can get the CD and pick up snacks and a $5 movie. I'm surprised I haven't found any of your movies that way." Rey chuckled, sticking her tongue out.

 

"They usually go straight to Netflix after the festival circuit. I've never been in anything big. I get to support myself, but stay relatively anonymous," Ben stuck his tongue out at Rey, "So, there's nowhere you get to just be you?"

 

"In public. In private, like my loft in Nashville, or my flat in New York-- then yes." She sighed wistfully.  "I used to show the private side a lot more too, but it got exhausting, and a lot of my 'friends' decided they didn't like me if I didn't post as many pictures with them. But at home, it's so nice--  I get to chill with my cats, Bebe and Artie, mess around with my guitar and have sleepovers with my sister, Jyn, Rose and Jess."

 

He shook his head, "My agent keeps trying to get me to do social media. I won't do it. You're very generous with your private life. It's just Trooper and me, but I think I'd be too jealous to share my family and friends with the world.”

 

"What did you do together the last time you hung out?" For a moment, Ben felt a bit like Snap Wexley, struggling to ask interesting, open-ended questions to get his subject to open up about themselves. He just wanted to know more about her, Rey seemed so interesting. She had friends, a sister and this whole life outside of work. Ben had Trooper and a lot of unwatched episodes of Forensic Files. He could pretend, for a little while, that they were actually friends. That their intimacy wasn’t a fleeting, feigned thing. Maybe he’d feel less lonely.

 

"Rose tried giving Jess an undercut, but Jyn had to put a stop to it." Rey smiled at the memory-- it'd happen two weeks ago in Nashville. "We keep forgetting that Rose likes to get creative after a glass or two of rose."

 

"Jesus. I wish you were kidding." Trooper chased a leaf and pulled both of them along the sidewalk, hips, and shoulders banging together. Ben couldn't help but laugh, "Sorry. Trooper wants to chase everything, all the time. I just want to sleep, so we balance each other pretty well."

 

Rey giggled, Trooper looking up at her as if for approval, his tail thumping against Ben's leg. "It's okay. It almost makes me wish that cats were more like dogs. I think if I tried to walk my cats at any point, the headline would be something like 'Rey Kenobi: finally driven to become a  jilted cat lady!'" She exclaimed, bringing a hand up to gesture as if framing the title.

 

"Well, when you're in New York, you're welcome to come to Queens and hang out with Trooper. Maybe by then, he'll have passed his obedience school classes," Ben hummed, "You always do that. Cut yourself down, because of what people  _ might _ say. If people already think you're a soulless witch, or whatever then you can really do whatever the fuck you want."

 

Rey didn't mean to, but she outright laughed at that. "It's not that simple. And it's not what they  _ might _ say if it's based on what they do or did say."

 

She shrugged, eyes trained on Trooper as he yipped at another leaf. "When I started dating my second boyfriend at age 17, they called me a man-eater; when I adopted my first cat 6 months after my fourth breakup, I was called a crazy cat lady; and the heartless wench moniker has been around for a while. It's easier to prep myself before it happens."

 

"It might be easier, but you're also making yourself miserable. When you talk like that, the light just goes out of your eyes,” Rey met his eyes and it was almost too much. Worse than having Rey dry hump him on the couch. Trooper, the best dog in the galaxy, yanked on his leash and Ben stumbled forward, moving away from Rey and the intensity of that moment. She’d looked at him so knowingly, and with such vulnerability, Ben had nearly kissed her right there. Fuck. Fuck. He had three more jobs with Rey Kenobi and this was going to be  _ bad _ . So goddamn bad.

 

Rey slid the sunglasses up the bridge of her nose to cover her eyes. "That's not true."

 

Ben sighed, "I get paid to watch people, and figure out how they work. Maybe I've just gone too deep into my part, that happens more often than I want to admit, but it's heartbreaking to see."

 

Rey bit her lip, grateful for the lack of lipstick there as she focused her eyes ahead. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the familiar sight of a camera and she cursed.  "Photographer, 2 o'clock." Ben's head swiveled in that direction, and her hand found his instinctually, squeezing it nervously three times, trying to calm down. "We can either run for it or just do our own thing. Either way, they'll probably get one picture in."

 

Ben shrugged, "Do our own thing. It's unsettling but there's nothing that can be done about it."

 

Rey glanced at him, almost amused if not for the small sense of panic rising up to choke her. "Fair enough," she muttered as one voice, then two, then three, started calling her name.

 

"Come on, give us a smile!" "Whatcha doing today, Rey-- work or pleasure?" "Who are you with?"

 

She straightened, her face giving way to a small grin, flashing her teeth at the camera. She was sure that her nails were digging into Ben's hand, even if she looked calm.

 

Ben squeezed her hand and smiled at her reassuringly, "I'm Ben. We're just taking a break from work! Have a good day." He guided Rey and Trooper away from the cameras, giving the photographers a friendly wave.

 

Rey let out a breath she didn't know she was holding as they turned a corner, the studio back in sight. "I know you just scolded me about assuming what people are going to say-- but I'm 75% sure that at least by tomorrow morning, there will be some picture of us wandering around the internet with an article claiming that you're the new 'mystery man in my life' attached."

 

She weakly squeezed his hand three times, wishing her heart would calm down, her adrenaline seeming not to know how to stop, how to slow.

 

He shrugged, "The tabloids covered every agonizing detail of my parents' divorce, remarriage and subsequent fights. I'll fine."

 

"I don't know if I appreciate or hate your blasé attitude about this," Rey muttered, a smile tugging at her lips.

 

"The way I stopped being unhappy all the time was accepting that I can't control my life. It is what it is," Ben made kissing noises at Trooper,"I also figured out that having Trooper, someone to take care of helped too."

 

"I really need to take a page out of your book then-- this sounds depressing, but I haven't been too happy since...well, whenever the drop date of my first album. The first 24 hours after that were fun and then my life became this joy-sucking machine," Rey hummed to herself, almost thoughtfully.

 

She dropped his hand, stretching her arms overhead with a small moan. She had been wound up like a tight spring, and she tried to shake the pent-up nerves out of the ends of her fingertips.

 

Ben nodded, "Pretty much everyone who's wildly successful thinks the same thing. Having a passion for something isn't that amazing, because it makes you miserable with or without it."

 

“Sounds about right." Rey closed her eyes, brow furrowing. She could feel that song, that damn elusive bit of notes that had been running through her head on the tip of her tongue. Slowly, she reached for her phone, and with a flick of her finger, Rey unlocked the screen, opened a voice memo.

 

_ "This is for the best/our promises are all that's left/you can that all from me." _

 

Rey felt ridiculous, singing into her phone, turning her head away from Ben to hide her flush. It was always odd to slip into her process in front of someone new, and she could count on her one hand how many times she had done something like this in front of someone like him. Still, she sighed, almost at peace, clicking the stop button on her voice clip.

 

"There. Now hopefully I won't bite off your head tomorrow while filming-- unless I can't get the rest of it figured out tonight." She dramatically rolled her eyes and sighed, smile smoothing out across her lips.

 

Ben shrugged and smiled, tugging on Trooper's leash as they turned around and headed into the studio,"I'm your fake boyfriend for the next three days, so it comes with the territory. Do you feel better at least?"

 

"A little. I'll feel better when I figure what the song will be about." She brightened, almost skipping alongside him. "Jyn is supposed to be coming back into town by tomorrow night, so I could have this recorded soon. Thank god-- I thought the well dried up when Hux left."

 

She shrugged at his raised eyebrow. "The dude is trash, but he's the reason why I have 20 voice notes of me humming tunes to remember later."

 

She chuckled, "Nothing says 'lonely singer-songwriter after a breakup' than a folder of voice notes on your phone of you humming a sad or angry melody while your cats meow in the background because they want their wet food."

 

He nodded,"I did a production of Hamlet after a breakup and that was pretty interesting. Intense. Whatever gets you through the week that's not booze or pills, right? Is Jyn your producer?" Ben fumbled for the right words. He hadn't been in a studio since he was fifteen, recording some songs for a Disney Channel musical.

 

"Yeah. She's kind of like a second older sister to me who doesn't make decisions based on the cuteness of the person." Rey playfully nudged him, grinning. "She's been with me basically from the beginning and she's forever coaxing new sounds out of my music. It's pretty amazing. You'll have to meet her."

 

"I'm glad that someone in your life makes decisions with more rigor," Ben smirked and nudged Rey back, "Where in New York do you live? I live in Queens, this nice neighborhood of families."

 

"Lower Manhattan. I like to feel like I'm in the middle of the action, even if I'm sitting and doing nothing." She sucked on her lip, thinking. "I don't think I've even accidentally wandered into Queens, to be honest."

 

"Well, if you ever want to escape, and come visit Trooper, the outer boroughs are always nice. I used to live in Brooklyn, but it got to be too much for me. Too many hipsters."

 

Rey snorted at that. "Damn, and here I thought you'd be king of the hipsters-- almost every Disney kid goes through that stage, and I can still remember my sister squealing over a picture of you with a man-bun."

 

She faked a shudder, laughing and leaning down to pet Trooper as he nudged her with his nose, as if worried.

 

He groaned,"That is so weird to hear. So weird. I definitely went through a hipster phase, but it was like 2006, so everyone called me emo."

 

"In that case, I feel like I should've been made aware that I was seeing the start of an era," Rey deadpanned, breaking into giggles.

 

"The hair is just to hide my ears, it's not that deep," he watched Rey pet Trooper, it was nice to know she was a dog person too.

 

"Yes, well, Kira nearly had a heart attack over your 2006 phase. I was just getting started back then, and I remember her in the back of the tour bus, trying to get me to invite any and all the celebrities she could find in her magazines. I probably vetoed her request to invite you on the principle of your man-bun and the fact that she would've appreciated the gesture."

 

She shook her head, laughing. "She's gotten better about exploiting my fame for her own indulgences, though her old ways will pop up from time to time."

 

"I kind of avoid anything fame-related unless it's for work. I have a few friends in the business, but I mostly keep to myself. I can Facetime her or something if you want," Ben felt strange about the offer, but he liked the idea of making Rey and her sister happy.

 

Rey raised an eyebrow. "You don't have to. It's nice to offer, but you don't have to." She sighed, "Especially because she'll probably pass out when she forgets to breathe while fangirling."

 

"Now you've sold me on it. I've never made anyone faint. Give me your phone," Ben switched Trooper's leash to the other hand, holding out the other for Rey's phone.

 

"Let me at least talk to her first, geez." She swatted his hand away, unlocking her phone again and pulling up her sister's contact information.

 

It was probably for the best that Kira was staying with her for a few days, that she knew they wouldn't be interrupting anything. The phone rang, and Rey felt so awkward staring back at her reflection in the front-facing camera as she waited, her sister finally picking up.

 

"Hey Rey-Rey, I was just thinking about texting you about dinner plans; when do you think you'll be--" Kira Kenobi cut herself off, her blue eyes narrowing in confusion. "What happened to your lipstick? It looks like you were in an avant-garde makeup ad."

 

"Hi, sissy. My costar happened to my lipstick. I'm fine, by the way, thanks for asking." Rey smirked at her older sister, watching the woman swipe a hand through her auburn pixie cut, as if perplexed.

 

"What do you mean, your costar happened to your lipstick?" She lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Has he been kissing it off you?"

 

"Ben, care to answer that?" Rey reached for Trooper's leash, ready to make the trade-off as quickly as possible before the shock could wear off.

 

Ben grabbed the phone and grinned at Kira, "Hi! I'm Ben, and I hear you're a fan of my ridiculous man bun. And to answer your question, yes. I did that to Rey’s lipstick. I've made out with your sister for hours, in varying degrees of undress in front of really bored people before we took a break."

 

The high-pitched squeal that her sister made was enough to make her wince and Trooper whine, but Ben just grinned at the phone and Rey knew she'd never hear the end of it. "She's probably going to make me invite you to dinner," Rey muttered, rolling her eyes at her sister's scoff. "Why have you invite him when I can invite him myself?"

 

"Aren't you supposed to be passing out by now?" She jokingly clicked her tongue, disappointed, hoping to mask her nerves. Kira had scared off several men Rey had been interested in, a thought that made Rey pause. When did she decide that she was interested in Ben like that?  She pushed it aside, scowling at her sister. "I should have never let you meet those other celebrities. I thought you were going to faint over him and everything."

 

"If that's an invitation, umm, sure. I was just telling Rey she should come up to Queens where no one ever bothers me,” Ben felt a little embarrassed at the offer, trying to imagine Rey in his ordinary neighborhood and seeing his regular stops. Every morning, he’d spend ten minutes talking to Mrs. McNulty about her children on the corner while their dogs sniffed at each other, and then getting coffee and a paper from Mr. Kim from the corner store before going to the park to watch Trooper chase invisible squirrels.  Trooper licked the top of his sneaker and Ben growled down at him, scuffing the top of his shoe against the sidewalk. He loved Trooper, but he didn’t want to have dog saliva all over his shoes.

 

"She  _ should _ ! Rey doesn't have enough friends in the city." Kira had that look to her that was almost more terrifying-- the meddling matchmaker look. The singer swallowed a groan, rolling her eyes.

 

"I have enough friends!" Rey tried not to whine, leaning closer to Ben to glare at Kira. "I don't need you to make my friends for me, Kiki; I'm not 12 anymore."

 

"No, you're not and I'm so proud," her sister cooed, grinning as the singer tossed her hands up, exasperated. "So seriously, when do you two get done on set? I'm starving and Jyn got in a day early." She panned the camera to show Jyn in the background, phone in one hand, drink in the other.

 

“We’re not too fancy, Ben--we’ll probably be ordering take-out again, but whenever you two get done, you can come and help me tease Rey. She loves it  _ so  _ much.” Kira grinned, and Rey knew that she was due to have a talk with her older sister about talking to her work friends.

  
  


Ben frowned, “Is it okay if I bring my dog with me? Trooper is pretty well-behaved.” He felt a bit nervous about going somewhere new without him. Trooper didn’t typically wear his service dog vest because it was better to be a quirky former child star than discuss your mental health issues with indiscreet coworkers. 

 

Rey sighed at Kira’s happy squeal, plucking the phone up and holding it down so that the phone’s front-facing camera was on Trooper. She looked up at Ben, apologetic smile. “Of course. Artie may give him grief, but Bebe loves dogs. As long as you’re okay, anything goes, really.”

 

Nodding, Ben grinned at Rey and then down at Kira. “Sounds good. I just don’t like going places where I can’t bring Trooper. You’ve got cats and I have a co-dependent relationship with a dog.” 

 

“Animals are easier to deal with than humans, so honestly, is it that surprising?” Rey smiled back, rolling her eyes as her sister cleared her throat.

 

“So when you two are done flirting, if you could tell me a general ETA and maybe what you want to eat, that’d be great.” Rey was tempted to click ‘End Call,’ but then Kira grinned at her and she was stuck again. 

 

“It depends if Jyn can convince her darling, brilliant director of a husband to break early so he can join us.” In the background, Rey could hear her producer laugh. Glancing up at Ben, the singer shrugged. “Jyn and Cassian have been together at least twenty years. A Kenobi record is a borderline family project at the end of the day, so you may be seeing him a lot off set when we hang out.”

 

Ben chuckled, and the sound filled Rey with an almost giddy feeling, something that she hadn’t felt since the first time that she had fallen in love, heart in her throat already. She wasn’t sure what she was doing, inviting someone like Ben Solo into her world. He was intense, he was uncouth, he was blunt--and she didn’t mind any of that.

 

Despite his earlier scolding, she tried to picture what a headline featuring them would look like. She was more than well aware that this could end in pain for both of them, that this may be the worst idea of their collective careers, but as he absentmindedly looped his arm around hers, Trooper looking up at her as if she had been at Ben’s side for years, she couldn’t remember why it was a bad idea.

 

As far as Rey was concerned, the only thing that she knew at the moment was that Ben Solo was coming over for dinner, and she was incandescently happy about that fact.


	4. New Year's Day - Taylor Swift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newly updated with more context and shirtless Ben Solo jokes. Kira Kenobi is definitely trying to make this ship sail.

The last shot of the day was of him and Rey in bed, reading books and newspapers. They had been artfully disheveled by the hair and makeup team so it looked pretty-post coital. After their walk with Trooper, it was like they'd been friends for years.

Cassian kept the cameras rolling even when they weren't actually "shooting." He seemed much happier with their work. Two more days and they were done.

Rey felt almost odd to be so blissful, tucked under Ben's arm, her fingers flipping through a glossy magazine. If it wasn't for the camera, and the crowd of the production and creative crew peeking in, she could have fooled herself that she was in her boyfriend's bedroom, almost getting lulled to sleep by his voice as he read a few of his favorite passages. It felt so real, and it almost hurt that it wasn't.

When Cassian called it a wrap for the day, Rey sat up with a yawn, frowning at her purposefully mussed hair. "Do you think that my sister will believe we had sex if we walked in like this?"

Ben snorted at the comment, and Rey's lips stretched wide into a lazy smile. Yeah, this felt all too natural. "If she thinks that you slept with me, I have a feeling they'll never find the body," he stretched and yawned loudly, shirt riding up. "I just need to get a shirt and shoes, then I’m ready to go."

He emerged from his trailer dressed, carrying his messenger bag and pulling Trooper along after him, who jumped around like he hadn't seen Ben in years. "Ok, I think we're ready to go! I definitely need a drink."

"I think we can take care of that." Rey hummed, smoothing out her skirt and shirt, tugging at her jean jacket almost nervously.

She smiled at Trooper as he jumped up on her, "Ready for another walk, Trooper? Yeah, you are!" Ben laughed beside her, and they set off.

The walk went quicker than it usually did, and she wondered if it was because she felt the need to keep up with Ben's long strides or how their conversation moved them along too. It seemed as if a moment had merely passed from leaving the studio lot to walking up to her front door. Rey didn't mind though

Trooper seemed to like Rey as he danced back and forth between them, giving them both happy doggie smiles, along with the occasional happy bark. Ben felt relaxed and more than a little relieved to be done for the day. He would have been more comfortable if the scenes had just been sexual, rather than the casual intimacy they exhibited all day. Now, he felt okay, the walk was helping him decompress.

"Okay, here we are! It may be chaotic trying to get inside-- Kira has a tendency to storm the front door whenever we have guests--"

The door swung open, Jyn, her producer, stepping into the doorway. "Don't worry-- your sister is currently scrolling through social media. Apparently, you two made a headline." Not saying more, she pulled Rey into a hug. "Got any new songs, starting?"

The singer grinned, pulling back to look at her friend, her brown hair and dark eyes usually leading people to think of them as aunt and niece. "Ben helped me trap that tune I was telling  you about this morning. If I get time tonight, I'm going to try to strum out the rest."

Ben waved to the woman hugging Rey, "Hi Jyn! I'm Ben."  Even though he was nearly thirty, Ben had the urge to shove his hands into his jeans pockets and look at the floor like a shy teenager. Jyn had a  _ presence _ about her that just commanded respect. She definitely knew how to get rid of a body without listening to true crime podcasts first. They would get along well. At least he hoped.

"I know." Jyn had this way of saying those words with such a look that you wondered if she had researched you thoroughly if she could see your secrets with a casual green-eyed stare. Still, she smiled at Ben, beckoning him in as Rey went ahead.

"Rey was complaining about you earlier. I'm guessing you charmed her enough to warrant a dinner invitation and a photo." Jyn’s eyes regarded Ben cooly, as if she was trying to decide if she should bother liking him, if he even deserved to be in Rey’s home. Considering the fact that Hux had been invited here at least once, it made sense why Jyn would be wary of the singer’s tastes in men, platonic or not.

"I was having a bad day, but it turns out that we hate the same guy, have similar insecurities, like New York and my dog, Trooper,” he set down his bag on the floor where Rey had pointed to wordlessly, chatting with whoever was further inside the apartment. Everyone who frequented her apartment had a labeled hook:  Jyn, Cassian, Rose, Finn, and Poe. There was one unlabeled hook. It seemed that when Rey liked you, she made room for you in her life in every way possible. Ben liked that.  

"Hux? Oh yeah, welcome to the club." She laughed mirthlessly, casting a concerned look over her shoulder, obviously at Rey, who paid no mind. There was a gentle, almost motherly smile that touched Jyn’s lips as she watched the young artist flit about, almost like a lioness over her last cub. She looked back at Ben, sighing almost begrudgingly, crossing her arms.

"Cassian told me a bit about you since… well, I think we can both agree that Rey doesn’t deserve dealing with any tools, especially after dealing with the likes of Mr. Hux.” She shuffled from foot-to-foot, weighing her next words. There was a different feeling already with this one, but she wasn’t sure how to describe it. Instead, she moved along, saying:

“Even if it's just for a music video, I think I'm glad she's around you. I'd hate for her to be around someone who worships the ground Hux walks on because he was up for an Oscar once." She smiled at Trooper, leading dog and owner further into the foyer, stopping outside an intersection where one door leading out into the hall and another one lead in. "Besides, we like it when Hux is uncomfortable. Don't we, Rey?"

"What?" Rey poked her head out of the living room, waving the two in. "Sorry, I was looking for Artie. I think he hid already."

"I really hate him, I've hated him for years. He started the "unconventionally handsome" thing a few years ago.  He’s just an asshole," Ben unclipped Trooper's leash, watching him go and sniff at the cat tower in the living room,"He did it to me again, Right before I did this video with Rey. Sort of why I did it, to be honest. He finds a weakness and exploits it. Anyway, I scheduled an interview with Wexley for Vanity Fair’s YouTube to talk about working with Rey. I don’t really do interviews, but I know Wexley really well, and we owe each other a few favors."

"Wexley usually gets any story straight. Kaydel Connix usually interviews Rey for Vanity Fair-- do you know her? They both do really good work, which is why neither of them has interviewed the likes of Hux." Another voice chimed in, its owner, Kira, emerging from the hallway with Artie, a white cat with a single gray spot around his eye and a blue collar, tucked under her arm.

Ben noticed that Kira looked strikingly like Rey, but wore her hair shorter, cropped close to her head. She also seemed younger than Rey, lighter. It was probably that the older Kenobi had chosen a life outside of music or Hollywood. He recalled the tired, sad looks on the faces of his co-stars back when he worked for Disney as a kid. What must it be like for Rey to be around people who led normal lives? Hell, what was it like for her to have relationships with people? Friends, and family who stuck around. 

"He was hiding under your bed again," Kira informed her younger sister. Rey rolled her eyes and mumbling a thank you, sinking down on the couch. Kira plopped down next to her, continuing, "But yeah, Hux has a tendency of doing that--sabotaging people in any way they can, hiding behind the press. He forgets that other people can be good at that when they want to be."

Kira grinned at Rey, jokingly pinching her cheek. "Isn't that right, little Miss Revenge?"

"Don't make me regret naming my album that--it’s not my fault that year was filled with people who couldn’t be nice." Rey shot back, rolling her eyes helplessly at Ben, “Family--what can you do.”

He shrugged, "I'm an only child." Ben didn’t really get the family thing. His memories of his parents acting like parents were of dressed up adults smelling of perfume and alcohol who would come in late at night and kiss him on the forehead when he was supposed to be sleeping. Before their final blow up, Uncle Luke had been like a father to Ben, taking him in at ten.

Kira snorted, looking at Rey, “I’m pretty sure that Rey wishes that she was an only child some days...but only when there are cute actors sitting in our living room, right, Rey-Rey?”

“Careful, Kira, or I may choose to take Ben as my date to the next awards show instead of you.” Rey didn’t look up, smoothing a hand down Artie’s back as the cat purred. She could feel her blush slipping back again, but she cleared her throat to quell it. 

They heard the jingle of keys in the door, Jyn all but sprinting for the foyer, the sisters watching her go both smiling. “It’s probably Cassian,” Rey explained to Ben. “She hasn’t seen him for...maybe a month? I can’t keep up with Jyn’s travel schedule.”

“They’re so perfect in love, it makes me sick but also hope Rey finds that one day.” Kira was sizing Ben up, in the most unsubtle way, nodding to herself as if she approved of her sister’s choice. “So Ben, how’s working with Rey? She’s a perfectionist so I bet she had you re-do scenes again and again.”

The older Kenobi shot her sister a sly smirk, adding, “I bet I can guess which scenes too.” 

Ben raised an eyebrow, “So far, it’s really nice working with Rey. She hasn’t commented on me being  _ too intense _ and will joke around with me. Rey didn’t have us reshoot anything, we got pretty much everything in a couple of takes… If you just want to ask me to take off my shirt, I can do that. I’ve been mostly undressed all day anyway. Your sister did promise to show me your high school collages of me, so that’s going to be pretty cool.”  He kept his voice casual and friendly, even smiling at Kira who’d flushed a flattering shade of pink. 

Rey smiled innocently at her sister’s attempt at glaring, shrugging. “I knew you were going to be asking me later about my experience kissing a former Disney star-- I just wanted to be sure you felt as mortified as I will later.” She pushed herself up, Artie still in arms. “I’m going to go grab those takeout menus and make sure that Cassian and Jyn aren’t defiling my front door. I’m still scarred after Poe and Finn’s passionate welcome on New Year’s.”

Rey knew that it was probably foolhardy to leave her sister alone in a room with Ben, but she felt like she was back in high school again, waiting for her family to give their final seal of approval on someone she was interested in.

Kira turned to Ben, whose eyes still lingered on Rey as she left. This was interesting-- she had never seen anyone ‘platonically’ act so invested in her sister. To the point, then. “So, be honest, Disney boy: do you like her?” 

“I’m twenty-nine, I’m hardly a boy,” Ben cocked his head at Kira, humming a little under his breath as he considered her, “I don’t really know yet. I like Rey so far. I like how she treats people. Don’t go off getting any weird ideas either - I see that look in your eyes. No, okay? I haven’t dated anyone in three years, and I’m not really looking to either. My only friend is a journalist, so he doesn’t actually count as a person. I haven’t had a friend in a really long time, and I think Rey could be a friend.”  

“A friend that you made out  with and will be making out with  _ a lot  _ if her music videos have any say.” Kira held her hands up in mock defense when Ben fixed her with a stare. “Listen, neither of us are dumb people, Ben. You’re not even the  _ slightest  _ bit curious?” 

“Kira, I don’t think you’re dumb, but you’re honestly doing a fantastic impression.  Your sister just left a relationship with an emotionally abusive narcissist that still hasn’t ripped his hooks out of her. He text messaged her all day long, berating her and saying any number of horrific things trying to provoke a response from her. I’m not interested in Rey because I need a friend more than I need a lover. Lovers are easy to come by, particularly in our line of work. Friends are not easy to find, not real ones anyway. What you should really be thinking about is how to get Armitage Hux to leave Rey alone before she ends up asking me for my psychiatrist’s number,” Ben crossed his arms and glared at Kira, “I’m sorry to be rude, but you’re asking the wrong questions and to the wrong person.” 

“For the record, Rey’s already visiting a therapist,” Jyn’s voice rang from the doorway, Cassian looking almost abashed as he trailed his wife. The older woman turned to face Ben, rolling her eyes. “Let me just apologize for Kira while the cat still has her tongue. She has a tendency of seeing any guy she thinks is good and charging ahead to make sure that Rey has someone. Hasn’t worked out yet though, has it, Kira?”

The older Kenobi sister muttered some response under her breath, straightening up with an optimistic look nonetheless. “I’m sorry--Rey just mentioned to me earlier that you calmed her down after she cried on set. No co-star has done that and...well, I guess I’m a silly romantic.” She laughed, even though the look she gave Ben was odd, a touch calculating, curious, but a bit put off at the same time.

“There’s nothing wrong with being romantic, theoretically. I just hesitate to assume that there’s some kind of romantic or sexual overtone whenever someone shows concern for another person. Maybe you’re hanging out with the wrong crowd Kira,” Trooper came over and sat at Ben’s feet, sensing that his owner was emotionally distressed, it was a part of his training. He leaned down and scratched at the dog’s ears before smiling up at Cassian, “Hey, Cassian. How’s it going? Do you need me to be shirtless for dinner too?” 

Cassian snorted, looking past Ben, to the doorway. “What do you think, Rey? Do you need him shirtless for dinner too?” The singer had been frozen in place for the past few minutes, a fact that intrigued the director. He hadn’t seen Rey so mortified, so jubilant, so intense as she had been today. He wondered if Ben’s influence was a bit more powerful than the actor anticipated. 

Rey shook her head, not trusting herself to speak for a moment, smiling nervously at the group. “I think I’ve seen Ben shirtless enough for one day. If I see his pecs one more time today, I may staple a shirt on him tomorrow.” She had just known that Kira would ask something stupid, though she hadn’t heard much of what had to be Ben’s first answer.

The second part of it though? Oh, she had heard every word, and it made her unsure now. She could squash the tendril of feelings creeping up like vines on her heart. She could ignore the warmth that flooded her when she looked at him, the flutter of nerves when he touched her. It would be impossible, but she wasn’t stupid.  _ If he wants a friend, that’s what I’ll be, _ she decided, crossing the room to sit next to her sister, not trusting herself to sit next to Ben, not now that she could practically feel every kiss he had left during shooting that morning rising up on her skin like goosebumps.

“I think I get to wear a shirt anyway tomorrow, we’re just trashing the apartment - right?” he looked at Cassian who nodded his confirmation, “Definitely not a shirtless activity. I’m hoping that wardrobe will consider a turtleneck for me. Just for a nice contrast for the audience, you know?” 

“ Oh good, I’d hate to waste staples-- you’re built like a tree.” Rey joked, rolling her eyes as Ben stuck his tongue out at her. “Tomorrow is when we argue and pretend we hate each other again, right?” Cassian chuckled, nodding again.

“As long as no one throws any punches or the like, it’s a free for all. You guys get to win your dignity back.” The director rolled his eyes as his video’s stars sighed with relief, Jyn raising an eyebrow, saying nothing, her eyes still watching the two sitting across from each other.

“It’s really hard being this good-looking, all the time. Rey and I are just really exhausted, so it’ll be a nice change for us both,” Ben deadpanned as he accepted a bottle of beer that Kira wordlessly offered him, it felt a bit like a peace offering. Rey shot him an amused look that everyone saw and obviously filed away to discuss later. It was moments like this that made Ben somewhat grateful to be a loner. No one to analyze his every move. 

“If you’re up early enough, maybe I’ll get you breakfast before I spend the day trying to find your weaknesses.” Rey scrunched her nose at Ben. “Unless you say something extra mean tonight, then you can kiss that bagel goodbye.”

“Okay, so here’s the thing - Rey likes to be sarcastic and mean, but can’t take it when someone gives it back to her,” Ben held up his hands as if to show the room that he was unarmed, “Cassian, please back me up on this one. I was nice  _ all day _ . Rey is just trying to get out of buying me a bagel.” 

“My sarcasm was part of the reason why you joined the project, Benjamin,” Rey primly replied, looking at Cassian with a pout. “You were there, Cassian. Back me up, please? He’s been a meanie again.”

Rey could hear Jyn snort behind her hand, Kira muttering something under her breath, probably completely related to the question she had asked Ben earlier. Still, the singer focused on the actor, smiling innocently at him, daring him to say something back.

Instead, Cassian changed the subject, “I know that I kept you busy all day today, but I saw you reading some of the script that I gave you. What do you think so far?” Cassian and Jyn exchanged a private look, one that held no meaning to anyone but them. After twenty years together, they were able to speak without words, a skill needed by married couples and assassins.  Ben could see them as both if he was honest. 

“So far? I really like it. It’s an interesting story about the music industry, and I like that you get both ends of the spectrum. Someone who  _ was _ wildly successful and lost themselves in the process, and someone new to it, who is still losing them in the music because it’s the thing that they love the most. I like the contrast between them. I’m interested to see how it ends,” Ben replied drinking more of his beer and trying to relax. Trooper wandered over and sat down at his feet, allowing Ben to stroke his head and ears, the anxiousness beginning to drain out of him. 

“When would filming start?” Rey beamed up at Cassian. Since she had met him, he had talked of writing and directing his own film, and finally, that was coming to fruition. A small, maybe selfish part of her was grateful that it gave her another way and reason to see Ben. If he accepted the role, anyway. Like a child, she crossed her fingers, smiling.

“In January or February next year, here in New York. If Ben likes the script, I’d like to have him come on and work with us. There would be some singing and guitar - I know you haven’t done that in public since you were a kid. I hope that’s not something that you would object to,” Cassian said easily, nodding at Ben who had stopped petting Trooper to look carefully at Cassian. 

“I looked you up online, I don’t remember seeing you do anything feature-length before. Short films, commercials and lately, music videos,” Ben said carefully, trying to decide exactly what was going on. Rey was beaming at Cassian and Jyn as if they had announced the upcoming birth of a child.

“It’s my first feature-length project. This has been a labor of love, for the last decade or so. I didn’t think it was ready since I hadn’t found anyone that was right for it. I think you could be, once you finish reading it through and maybe do a table read? If it doesn’t we don’t have to shoot in January. I’m a patient man, as Jyn will tell you,” he smiled fondly at his wife, who looked at her husband over the rim of her glass. Jyn’s expression was both loving and protective. It was clear that Cassian’s happiness meant everything to her, and that she would kill to secure it. Ben felt like a voyeur, peeking into someone’s most intimate moments. It didn’t thrill him, it mostly made him feel alone. 

“Yeah, that sounds good, I’ll finish it up and do a read through with you later this week,” Ben was a bit startled by how calm Cassian was, offering him a possible part in his first movie. Looking back at the audition, Cassian’s shocked amusement at Ben’s willingness to humiliate himself to both prove a point and get a job that he would be good at suddenly made sense.  

“Of course, we've been trying to get Rey to contribute to the soundtrack, but she's being stubborn,” Jyn teased the young woman beside her who sighed, smiling. 

“It's easier to write music when you have a mood to go with it. We'll see.” She smiled at Ben, glancing back at Jyn hurriedly. “Besides, I'll probably be finishing the album then. Priorities. Anyways, I'm sure Ben will need a break from me by then. He'll probably file some legal measure to make sure I stay good and far away from him.” She shook her head, mouthing the words,  _ I hope not, _ as everyone laughed around her.

“Well, I would at least wait until you helped me get back my calluses if all this works out. I haven’t played or written anything since college. A year’s probably long enough for me to get it back, but it’d be better for Cassian if I was more than passable,” he said shyly, uncertain of Rey’s joke. It seemed she liked him too, wanted to be his friend even after their projects finished and Armitage Hux finally left Rey alone, focusing his campaign of harassment on someone else.

“I'm not sure if that was an invitation to play with you or if you were just hoping to play with me, but I'm always up for more music in my life.” Rey winked at him, brushing her hair back as Trooper wandered to her, sniffing at Bebe, who had emerged from under a couch to curl up on her lap.

“I'm not sure how much help I'll be since I'm still writing things, but if you decide to take on the role and need  _ someone _ to shadow or practice with, I'm up for the challenge.” She hoped that he didn't think her overeager, leaning back so she could still look at Ben even as Kira and Jyn started trying to decide between Chinese food and pizza.

* * *

 

Somehow five people managed to drink two six packs of beer and leave an inordinate number of glasses over every flat surface in Rey’s apartment. Kira let out an enormous yawn and waved a hand at Rey, “I’ll clean this up tomorrow morning. I ate too much and I need to slip into a food coma.” The older Kenobi shot Ben a dirty look, followed by a sweet smile, “Ben, it was nice to meet you and have you lecture me about my sister. Good night guys.” 

Ben opened his mouth and closed it, unsure how to respond to Kira’s goodnight. He opted to just wave and stand awkwardly in Rey’s living room. Somehow, Ben was the last guest left, Trooper was curled up on a cat bed and snored quietly. Rey sat in her armchair, legs flung over the side as she glared at the mess in her living room. “Let me guess, you can’t sleep with a messy apartment, huh?” 

“That's one way to put it,” Rey murmured, flashing a smile at him before she swung her legs around, wearily standing and plucking a few bottles up. “Kira does this all the time so honestly, I should have been a bit more proactive.” 

She rolled her eyes, glancing at Ben over her shoulder, realizing she was about to walk away from her guest. “Planning on heading out? The party basically left with Kira-- I'm an old lady after 10 pm, so you better run before I bore you to death.”

Ben laughed, “Rey, if I hadn’t come here tonight, I’d be at home doing a load of dark laundry and watching episodes of Dateline that I have saved to my DVR. If you’re an old lady, I am definitely an old man.” He followed behind Rey, carrying a collection of bottles and empty glasses into her kitchen. Something soft and acoustic played on the speaker on her kitchen counter where Kira had left an improbable number of scented candles still burning. Living with Kira would drive Ben absolutely insane. Who even goes to bed with candles still lit in the next room? He grumbled under his breath, and went back to the living room for more bottles, carefully setting them in the recycling bin in Rey’s pantry. 

Rey glared at the candles, puffing them out before grabbing her phone, typing out a quick message to her sister.  _ Can you *be* any more obvious? If you were trying to set a mood, don't you dare. If you wanted to try and burn the apartment down, there are faster ways, Kiki. _

Her phone buzzed less than a minute later, and Rey tried not to slam her head against one of the cupboards.  _ You'll thank me later, _ Kira had responded, and Rey wondered how she had survived with her sister for so long. Instead, she turned to the sink, plucking up a bottle brush, beginning to gingerly but thoroughly wash the few wineglasses Ben brought to the sink, two more clinking in his hands now.

“This is the last of the glasses. All the bottles are in the recycling. Since you’re already washing, I can dry if you want. I don’t know where anything is, but I take direction pretty well,” Ben pushed up his sleeves and moved to stand next to Rey at her kitchen sink. 

“You're already better than my sister then.” She tried to joke, rolling her eyes instead, finally venturing a look over as she passed the first glass. “I'm sorry about Kira. I just  _ knew  _ she was going to say something… I don't know what, but I think I can guess.”

Rey bit her lip, turning back to the sink, the water warm against her hands as she reached for the bottle of dish soap once more, bubbles forming under fingertips. “She gets these ideas and thinks that she knows best or exactly what needs to be done. I thought her trying to dress me up when we were little was bad-- when I started playing the fame game, she tried playing matchmaker. It usually doesn't work out.” She snorted, thinking of all the guys her sister had brought home for her, famous and ordinary alike.

Ben hummed a little, unsure of how much Rey had actually overheard when he’d decided to tell Kira off for being intrusive. He dried a glass completely before he managed to find the words, “I told Kira how it’s easy for people like us to find lovers, but harder to find friends. She pushed it a little, so I told her that I actually need is a real friend, one that’s an actual person instead of a dog or a journalist. I don’t think she gets it, not really. To know what it’s like for people to see you, but never really  _ know you _ , even though everyone just sort of presumes this level of intimacy.” 

She was silent, handing Ben another freshly washed wineglass for him to dry. He’d spent all day with Rey - kissing her and in varying stages of undress. Somehow, this felt more intimate. He wasn’t Ben on set.  That was Ben Solo, who spent hours at the gym, and obsessively managed his career with his ancient agent.  Right now, he was just Ben. Shy, anxious and nervous about admitting that he needed a friend. 

Rey paused, staring hard at the glass in her hand, sucking in her cheeks as she thought. “Yeah, Kira doesn’t quite understand how lonely it is on top. I don’t think I was ever friends with my exes before we started dating because no one saw me as ‘a friend’ or even friend material. They saw me as a way to get publicity, or even like a trophy. Kira keeps seeing my love life get blown to shit and she hasn’t exactly put two and two together that I don’t need a boyfriend, I just need someone who lets me talk about the oddities that is fame and the perks too. I just need someone who doesn’t care if they get invited to an awards show or a movie night on Tuesdays.”

Rey smiled, rolling her eyes, “If I could, I’d make Kira the famous one. She’d probably do better than me with the whole work-life-love-friends balance.” She passed off the glass, nudging Ben with her hip. “But thank you for telling her off--she hasn’t listened to me ever and I think she’ll be listening to a bit more now.”

Carefully drying the glass Ben listened to Rey and he heard a lot of what he told his therapist on a weekly basis. “I’m glad that I didn’t overstep with Kira. She was so ready to fix us up, and that’s probably the last thing that either of us needs,” his tone was joking, but there was an undercurrent of seriousness to it, “Rey Kenobi, do you want to be my friend? We can secretly complain about how shitty it is to be famous. I also like to hate-read Gwyneth Paltrow’s online newsletter, and I have no one to tell my jokes to.” 

Rey snorted, “I was all for being your friend but then you admitted to reading Paltrow’s newsletter. If you send me any articles about steaming any part of me that isn’t my face, I promise, Solo, I will tell your journalist about how you have an aversion to cold feet and a tickle spot under your left armpit and not your right.” To further emphasize this, she jabbed his underarm, watching him tense before playfully glaring at her.

“And to think that I was thinking about getting you a jade egg to put in your vagina. It’s only $800.” When he looked over to see the shocked look on Rey’s face, Ben burst out laughing, “It’s in her latest newsletter- all about high-end sex toys. I’m not lying. I’ll show it to you later.”

“I know you’re not,” Rey giggled, cringing over-dramatically. “I know that you had to pretend to have sex with me today, but a jade egg is a step too far even for me.” She looked at him, faux-serious. “If you get one for my birthday or Christmas, just know that I’ll be chucking it at you so hard that Gwyneth Paltrow can feel it.”

“I’m relieved that you didn’t threaten to shove it up my ass and that you think we’ll be the sort of friends that exchange Christmas presents,” Ben set the dried wine glass on the counter, “Was there a class that everyone took on how to make friends as an adult without being awkward or feel like a creep?”

“If there was, I probably stopped going after the first class, because I still feel very awkward.” Rey looked at him demurely. “Then again, I doubt they covered what to do when you become friends with someone you basically were naked with eighteen hours ago. I should have asked someone for notes.”

“Maybe there’s a podcast about it or something? I suppose we do have to be friends or hate each other after today. I’d much rather be friends. Plus, I think we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other - I’m pretty sure Cassian offered me a part in this movie. His first movie, which is pretty flattering.”

“He is definitely excited about you coming on board--he kept bugging me about working with you and getting you back to playing even before he gave you the script.” Rey shrugged, looking down at her pruney fingers. “This was after you took off your shirt at the office and called me a Barbie, so I wasn’t sure how serious he was. I’m glad he was serious though.” 

She nudged his hip with hers again. “Besides, we have to be friends--there’s some old Hollywood adage that goes ‘The ex-girlfriend of my obnoxious and evil former co-star is my friend.’ Maybe I paraphrased it a lot, but I’m pretty sure I would have gone insane on set earlier if you weren’t there to essentially tell him to fuck off. Thank you.”

“Ahh, yes. That adage. I learned that right after ‘don’t talk about Macbeth on stage’ at in college. I’ll be sure to tell Wexley about it when we sit down this week. I’m happy to tell people to fuck off - it’s one of my main hobbies,” Ben nudged Rey’s hip with his. It seemed that they would be the sort of friends that were really touchy.

“Let Snaps know that if he wants to verify any details about the project, he can just call me directly.” Rey shrugged innocently at Ben's raised eyebrow. “Kaydel wants me to remind him that he hasn't taken her out on a date yet. I promise that's it.”

“Oh? He’s finally going to pull the trigger? He’s been pining over Kaydel for years,” rolling his eyes, he shrugged, “If you want to see Wexley, I’m meeting him at the Library Hotel the day after we’re finished. You can come along if you want.”

“I'd say, ‘Oh, I could bring Kaydel, but I'm sure you want your journalist to be able to talk.” She smiled at him, brushing her hair behind her ear, coyly. “I'd like that. I want to see how the formidable Ben Solo handles interviews.” 

He smiled at her then, and Rey had to remind herself that they needed friends, not lovers. She didn't need Ben in any capacity past confidant, and she tried to ignore the fluttering in her stomach that seemed to contradict everything she thought. 

“I’m happy to give you a few lessons on how to be surly and uncooperative. It’ll be good to round your repertoire of various smiles and selfie poses with a few good angry faces.”

 


	5. Vanity Fair Interview with Armitage Hux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most of the stuff that we wrote here was based off of things that John Mayer has actually said in interviews.

"Ben Solo? He’s a driven, focused individual that is about the work above all things. It is a single mindedness that I quite envy. I find myself too tangled in relationships and interpersonal dramatics too often. Ben simply puts that aside and anyone who creates those complications. It's a bit like working with one of those Zen masters from a Kurosawa movie. All focus, all the time."

The actor lean backs and smiles, amused, noting, "It's probably the only thing I envy, though. His focus on the work is the only thing that puts him on par with me. He's an unconventional actor with unconventional looks. So no, I'm not intimidated by him."

As a popular A-list actor, it's not unusual for Armitage Hux to be linked with several high class beauties. From models to actresses to popstars, his dating history is almost as extensive as his filmography. However, he says that there are plenty of rumors and half-truths that make it seem more impressive than it actually is. For instance, when Rey Kenobi’s name is brought up, he out and out laughs it off.

"What, did she write a song about me? We did date, but it wasn't for any impressive length of time, or even that impressive of an experience. Nice girl, but a bit dull. Not a great romance like she probably chalks it up to be."

That being said, he isn't opposed to working with her again. "She was blown away by my music-- I dabble, of course. And if she ever needs a leading man in her next music video, I'd be more than happy to help." He winks, laughing again with a shake of his head. He's not the only one who doesn't think that will happen.

“Rey...We're at very different places, and we needed different things from a partner. I need excitement, an exotic taste that leaves me wanting more, that feeds my joie de vivre. I think Rey needed more music fodder or someone to pin too high of standards to. I hope I gave her what she needed for that song.  Who knows? Maybe she decided I was worthy of an album." Hux grows quiet, thoughtful for a moment before adding,”I think that Rey's needs are more conventional, which is great. I'm just a bit of a free spirit, deep down. I don't want to hurt anyone or hold them back. She took it well when I called it off. I didn't really expect anything less from the queen of breakups-- her words, I swear, not mine. With her, everything was very businesslike and focused. I think it's the closest I'll ever get to experiencing dating a robot. Or ol' Ben Solo. Honestly, they would be a hell of a pair. They're both so passionate in their work, that there's just nothing left. They leave it all on the field. I just, I can't but help hold some part of me back. I’d like to think that it's what keeps me interesting. Save the best for last. Keep some of it to myself, so that when I talk to someone-- in a normal conversation, in an interview, anything-- I'm not boring or just talking about work."

Kenobi snorts over her coffee when I called to confirm that she was actually working with Solo on her next music video. "Considering the interview hadn't come out until the last day of shooting, you can hardly call it taking his suggestion." The singer-songwriter shrugs, glancing slyly at her mantle full of awards, saying simply, "It's not the first time he's claimed credit for something."

When I call Ben Solo to get a quote, he's apparently walking his dog in the mystery outer borough he calls home, "How is this even interesting? Jesus. It's the journalistic equivalent of English professors who want to obsess over authorship of Shakespeare rather than digging into the content. I'll comment when you're asking a question that's worth answering." He then hung up without saying goodbye. 

When I asked for Kenobi’s response to Solo's quote? She laughs hysterically, adorably and ultimately, mysteriously, shrugging her shoulders when we asked her to elaborate. 

"I think he was pretty clear."

As Hux said, they seem to be quite a pair. The music video in question is due to drop in about two months. 


	6. How You Get the Girl--Ryan Adams

“Can I post this? It's too adorable not to show off.” Rey wiggled her phone at Ben, trying to get his attention as he leaned over a guitar, his brow furrowed in concentration as he moved his fingers from fret to fret.

 

It had been a week since the music video filming had wrapped and Rey was surprised that Ben wasn't sick of her quite yet, the actor and his dog showing up at her doorstep daily now. It was a weird routine, to be sure, but it was one that she didn't mind at all.

 

They insisted that it was just so Rey could get Ben used to playing again. It wasn't their fault that more often times than not, they'd get distracted by  _ Forensic Files  _ or some sappy romcom that Rey wanted to make fun of with someone. It wasn't their fault that they'd end up passing out in her bed while listening to whatever podcast Ben had been listening to on his commute to her apartment, or that Rey would get distracted from re-teaching the basics and just start singing 60s tunes until Ben took the guitar out of her hand, smiling before casually threatening to murder her if she sang “Build Me Up, Buttercup” once more, even if she did catch him whistling it later.

 

It wasn't their fault that they got along so well, that it was so easy to talk for hours on end. It was as if both of them had been shut off from the world and they had just seen the light once more. 

 

Now they were curled up on her bed in the makeshift nest that Rey had made that morning, Ben trying to practice and Rey snapping selfies of the two of them, humming some tune under her breath. Between them, Trooper snoozed, Bebe batting lazily at the dog's ear as Artie snuggled into Rey's lap. 

 

Rey hadn't had a morning as cozy as this one and she doubted that she ever would.

 

Ben looked at the photo, it was of him sitting on her bed playing guitar while Trooper curled against his side. It was clear that Rey had an eye for photography and framing images. In the photo, he looked focused and serious, hair falling about his face, instead of sulky. 

 

“Yeah, that’s fine. But I think that’s the third photo of me you’ve posted of me,” Ben frowned over his finger placement, not looking at Rey, “Shouldn’t you be writing anyway? Your piano is in the living room.” 

 

He hadn’t questioned Rey’s decision to hang out with him in her bedroom, as that seemed to be where everyone ended up. Cats, Jyn, Cassian, and a parade of Rey’s various friends all appeared in Rey’s bedroom for a couple hours at a time.

 

Ben’s favorite friend of Rey’s was Audre, a singer-song writer from New Zealand, with riotous curly hair. She came over to play Rey’s piano and get her thoughts on a new song, which he frankly loved. The best line was, “I’ll love you until you call the cops on me,” which she sang with a mixture of hope and grief that made Ben’s throat constrict awkwardly. 

 

They were alone, soaking in the morning light from Rey’s bedroom window. No one stirred. Kira was nursing a hangover and in her room “dying, and please send me some orange Gatorade.” It felt comfortable and Ben felt uneasy about Rey’s acceptance of him into her circle of friends.

 

“I'm taking a break. I have the tune, just not the lyrics.” Rey snuggled deeper under the covers, kissing Artie’s as he purred. She wasn't exactly sure what this album was turning out to be, if it was revenge-driven or if there was something more. All she knew was that Ben was along for the ride at this point, even if she didn't show him her lyrics yet. They weren't that close yet, and even if they were, she wasn't sure if he'd stick around.

 

Her feelings for the man next to her was muddled already-- he pushed her in a gentle way, and she found that most of the little scribbles of lyrics she'd been jotting down focused on some sort of imagery he provided. 

 

She wasn't in love-- she was sure about that. But there was  _ something _ .

 

“What is it like to write something and just put it out into the world for everyone?” Ben kept his head down and concentrated on switching chords. “You’re so out there, with your music, photos online...How do you keep from just disappearing into it?”

 

“It's freeing in a way. Just knowing that I'm not the only one who felt certain things. People like to experience things without actually owning up to them, so it can be nice to let people live vicariously through me and the lyrics.” Rey clicked on her Instagram app, uploading the latest picture and typing up some simple caption-- clear enough so that people wouldn't assume, vague enough for Ben's sake. 

 

“Besides, at some point or another, everyone wants to be seen. Maybe by one person or a million. It's very humbling to know that people are looking for you, so it keeps me intentional.” She rolled her eyes. “Plus, Kira makes sure that nothing goes to my head.”

 

“Some of your songs, they’re just hard to hear. They feel  _ so intimate  _ and I feel like I’m trespassing. I listened to  _ White Horse  _ last night and it kind of killed me. I wanted to cry and then repeatedly punch whoever hurt teenage Rey,” he looked up and smiled, “When I feel things for work, I get to find things inside me that line up with my character and I never have to tell anyone about where I pulled from. You’re just out there, for everyone to see if they’re willing. No character to use as a buffer. Doesn’t that hurt? I need that mask to stay sane, because the things that I do at work, aren’t me. That’s someone else. You don’t have any distance, at least from what I can tell.”

 

“It's cheaper than therapy.” Rey joked, shrugging. “People like knowing that the artist can relate deeply. That's half my appeal. And besides, I believe in feeling things to the fullest. That's what life is here for, right? The experience and feelings?” 

 

She hummed to herself, brow furrowing as her fingers tapped along. There was some lyric that was buzzing in the back of her head, but it wasn't ready yet. Soon though.

 

“You’re very trusting when there’s literally no reason for you to do it. I admire it, but it also makes me afraid for you? That sounds so weird, but I guess maybe that’s just me being afraid myself. Also, my online therapy is 150 bucks a month. That’s pretty cheap, and I get to stay at home.”

 

His guitar let out an unhappy squeal and Ben groaned, “I get why Daft Punk wear helmets. Fuck.”

 

Rey simpered, the buzzing in her head louder as she gestured at the guitar, “Can I see that really quick? And turn on a recording app-- on my phone or yours, it doesn't matter.” 

 

She sighed, closing her eyes as the guitar settled into her arms, hands coming up easily to cradle the neck, arm looping down to strum. She waited for a beat, strumming and humming to herself, remembering the tune she came up with last night.

 

“I never trust a narcissist,

But they love me.

So I...play them like a violin

And I make it look oh so easy…”

 

Without meaning to, Ben laughed at Rey’s lyrics, “That’s really good. Also the pop music equivalent of riding around without a seatbelt. Hux is going to love that one. He’ll never own up to it, but he’s going to cry in the shower over that.”

 

Watching Rey play was kind of magical, the guitar seemed to be an extension of herself, pulling out all the random feelings and thoughts that everyone had, but giving them shape and meaning. It was impressive and made him feel childish at his own slow progress at recovering his guitar skills from a misspent youth.

 

Rey smiled, strumming still, more lyrics simmering up as she thought. This may be another Hux inspired song, but it wouldn't sound like the other song he inspired. No, this one would be different: intense, fun, petty.

 

“...Cuz for every lie I tell them,

They tell me three.

This is how the world works:

Now all he thinks about is me.”

 

She caught Ben's eye and grinned, watching his eyes flicker back to her hands on the guitar's neck.

 

“I can feel the flames on my skin,

Crimson red paint on my lips.

If a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing. 

I don't regret it one bit cuz he had it coming.”

 

Ben snorted with laughter and she couldn't find it in her to be annoyed. She usually insisted on silence if she wrote around someone, but this was different, Rey giggling back, her fingers fumbling over the strings.

 

He laid back against Rey’s headboard and smiled back. If only everything was this easy. Nothing was ever this easy, and yet it was like they were always friends. What would happen when Rey toured all next year? Would they pick this back up when she returned? 

 

Of course, he was already thinking about how things would end because Ben couldn’t accept anything that seemed good. There was always a catch.

 

“What's on your mind?” Rey bumped shoulders with Ben as she scooched closer, Trooper lifting his head in curiosity before laying back down again. Ben had a slightly dark look sitting on his brow, something that conflicted with his smile just a minute before.

 

“Let me guess-- you still think my music is some form of sugary cancer.” She stuck out her tongue at him when he turned to look at her, surprised. It was as if he had just woken up from a terrible dream.

 

“Not at all. I’ve been learning one of your songs actually, It’s terrible right now, and tabs I got off the internet are probably all wrong, but it’s a good song,” he made a face, “There you go assuming stuff about me. I would have listened to you sooner if you’d ever been on NPR.”

 

“You're so right. I'm missing my actual target audience.” Rey leaned forward, laying the guitar down. “What song are you learning? You know that you could have asked me and I would have given you the proper chords.” 

 

She didn't know why her heart was fluttering, why her stomach felt as if it was a deepening pit of nerves, watching Ben reach out to run a hand across the guitar's glossy wood.

 

“If I play it, you’re not allowed to make fun of me. You also can’t put it on your Tinder or whatever you use for putting pictures online,” Ben picked up the guitar and pulled a face for Rey, “Okay. I learned  _ How You Get the Girl _ , but I imagined like, some miserable bastard singing after he fucked everything up.” 

 

“First of all, Tinder is for dating and I have no interest in that.” Rey stuck her tongue out again, moving so that she was facing Ben instead of sitting beside him. “Second of all, I can't wait to hear your rendition. I promise not to tease you, Ben dear.” He raised his eyebrows at her, and she shrugged, gesturing at him. 

 

“Are you going to play or no?”

 

“Never call me dear, again,” he replied without any heat. Sighing and rolling his neck back and forth, Ben played the first chord and then stopped, “Fuck. I’m nervous. Don’t look at me while I do this. Look at the wall.”

 

Rey laughed and compiled, as Ben began to play her song. He kind of wanted to throw up. Why couldn’t he have learned something else?

 

He was an idiot.

 

Rey didn't realize she was holding her breath until Ben started singing, his voice low but warm, his presentation not showy whatsoever. He had taken out her little intro of “ah ah ah ah” and had launched right into the song. She wasn't sure if he meant to sound as if he was stumbling and rushing some words, but to her, the pace sounded natural, more raw, organic, Bob Dylan-esque.

 

It made her version sound overproduced and trite, and she was somewhat relieved by that. She caught herself trying to harmonize with him under her breath, and she could have sworn that she heard a smirk in his voice now, some amusement, hopefully some relief.

 

She had sung this song every night on tour, and yet it was as if she had heard it properly for the first time.

 

Finishing the song, Ben coughed, a little embarrassed. “That’s what I taped for Cassian and a tiny bit of Blank Space for my audition. I sent it yesterday after I left here,” shrugging he set down the guitar. 

 

“I like it. Could you play Blank Space?” Rey felt almost shy, nervous to possibly scare him off. She wasn't sure if it was a compliment or just smart thinking for Ben to play her music, especially when Cassian was listening.

 

He groaned, but picked the guitar back up, not meeting Rey’s eye. “Thank you. I’ll play it, but you gotta face the wall again. Okay?” 

 

Without waiting for Rey to respond, he started to play  _ Blank Space _ . It was supposed to be a bit more romantic, less cynical than Rey’s version. She was obviously angry about the coverage of her relationship, but for him, it was about that feeling of starting a relationship with someone that would be wonderful, but doomed.

 

Rey was glad that Ben had her turn away, feeling that all too familiar stinging on her lower eyelids, her chin trembling just a bit. It was amazing, how often she forgot how people interpreted songs differently, and she almost felt ashamed by how angry and vindictive she had sounded with the original.

 

Ben, on the other hand, sounded sweet, resigned and torn, his voice a promise and prayer. “Cuz I got a blank space, baby… and I'll write your name.”

 

She heard Ben stop strumming and she struggled to wipe away the evidence, hoping that she wouldn't feel Ben's hand on her shoulder, his eyes curious on her face. “I really like it,” she murmured, chuckling at herself as she rubbed at her eyes with her sleeves.

 

He heard the sniffling first and then saw Trooper scoot across the bed to lay his head in Rey’s lap, confirming that Rey was emotionally distressed. Ben set the guitar in the stand at the foot of Rey’s bed and touched her shoulder carefully. 

 

“Are you okay? I’m sorry if I upset you.” 

 

“I'm okay.” Rey laughed, looking over her shoulder, swallowing thickly at Ben's concerned look, her heart suddenly choking in her throat. “I just really, really love it. It's better and more heartfelt than my version.” 

 

Turning back to him, not minding how close he was, Rey looked up into Ben's face. “It's for moments like this, Ben. This is why I just let everything out into song, so people can show me how they heard it. Thank you.”

 

He smiled, “I definitely heard it. It’s a good song. I felt a little silly singing romantically, but it just feels like a song someone resigned to go on another first date would sing. Hopeful, romantic and cynical all at the same time. I’m glad you liked it. I haven’t sung in front of anyone since college. It’s weird.” 

 

Ben squeezed Rey’s hand, trying to reassure her. What he was trying to reassure her about was anyone’s best guess.

 

Rey giggled, squeezing his hand back. “Well, I'm honored that I got to stare at my wall while you did a better job at singing my songs than I did.” Absentmindedly, she scooched closer, leaning into him in a half hug. 

 

“You're still a giant dork,  _ dear.”  _

 

“I’m going to release an entire cover album of me, singing your songs better than you, if you keep calling me dear,” Ben returned Rey’s half hug, his stomach full of butterflies. “I hope Cassian decides to cast me. I really liked the script.”

 

“I almost hope that you do cover that album, dear.” Rey batted her eyelashes at Ben, laughing. She jokingly punched his shoulder, smiling.

 

“Would it help to know that Cassian hasn't considered anyone else for the role? He's very picky about who he even shows scripts to, so you've basically had it in the bag when you took off your shirt.” She mouthed  _ you're welcome  _ to Ben, shrieking with laughter as he lunged at her, fingers poking at her underarms to tickle her.

 

“Rey, I am going to tickle you to death. I hope that's okay because you’re the worst and you made me into a himbo,” Ben dug his fingers into her ribs, viciously tickling her while letting out an evil cackle.

 

“You got to second base with me the first day we worked together, which is hardly the worst thing about your year. That makes me a decent person-- admit it, Ben Solo!” Rey felt like she couldn't breathe, laughing and squealing as she tried to wriggle out of Ben's grasp. She would have tried to fight back, but she couldn't find it in her to mind being trapped by Ben, even when he leaned closer. If anything, she was more worried about accidentally falling off the bed in an attempt to get away.

 

Ben stopped tickling Rey, letting her catch her breath. “Groping you while getting paid does not actually count as sexual activity. However, I could eat. Are you hungry? Making you cry and acknowledge my music skills has made me hungry.” 

 

“Well, it's still the most action I've gotten lately,” Rey deadpanned before nodding. “I feel like you should know me well enough to know that I'll always say yes to food.”

 

She snuggled further into the blankets, peeking out at Ben from under them. “Can you bring something back? I'm too cozy.” He snorted at her, but considering the fact that he now knew her kitchen like it was his own, and would get her food as long as she put up with his teasing, she'd get her wish. 

 

“I hate you and I’m going to make French Toast,” Ben called as he and Trooper headed into the kitchen. He sang an off-key rendition of Blank Space as he left the room. 

 

“You love me, and you know it. Also bring back a glass of milk!” Rey fell back against the mattress, smiling to herself as she listened to Ben mockingly attempt to hit one of the high notes in the chorus. Even though they were just friends--and would  _ stay _ just friends, Rey was sure-- she felt more comfortable and happier than she had been in years. She curled up now, listening to Bebe purr next to her, wondering if she'd be lucky enough to enjoy Ben being around for a long time after.

 

A few minutes later, Ben wandered back into the bedroom carrying a glass of milk and a glass of orange juice. He took a generous sip of his own and handed Rey her glass, “Kira’s up and babysitting the French toast. It should be done in a few minutes.”

 

Grinning, he slipped out of Rey’s bedroom before she could respond.

 

Rolling her eyes, she took a sip, nearly sputtering at the jolt of coffee--and alcohol-- that assaulted her taste buds with the milk. She clapped a hand over her mouth to quiet her surprised giggle. Oh, Ben would pay for this later, Rey thought, taking another sip of the White Russian she had been  _ so graciously  _ gifted with. It was a good thing she didn't plan on leaving the apartment today.

 

Ben listened to Rey’s happy giggles from the kitchen as he supervised Kira flipping the French toast.

 

The older Kenobi caught his eye and grinned, “You totally like my sister. You made both of us drinks AND breakfast.”

 

“Of course I do,” Ben caught himself, “Rey is my friend. Of course, I like her. Why else would I hang out here? I hate Midtown.” He bumped Kira out of the way and began to plate the food, not looking her in the eye. If Ben said it enough, it would come true.

 

Kira smirked at him. “Sure, it's because she's your friend and not because she has you weak at the knees and wrapped around her little finger.” She plucked a plate of food from Ben's hands, eyes attempting innocence even as her grin remained devious. 

 

“She really likes you too, but y'know. You are just two friends being friends.” With that, Kira walked out of the kitchen, not caring if Ben had a response ready or not.

 

Ben growled in response and didn’t look back, carefully balancing his and Rey’s plates as he entered her bedroom. 

 

Rey felt warm, wondering to herself if she needed to drink more often to build up a tolerance, a slight buzz already started. She smiled up at Ben as he came closer to the bed, holding up her hands to take her plate from him. “Thank you, Ben,  _ darling. _ ” 

 

She paused, scrunching up her nose almost childlike, shaking her head, “I think I'll just stick to call you ‘dear’. It less 40s romance and cheesiness.” She wiggled her empty glass at him, jokingly glaring at him as he sat down beside her. “You're hilarious, by the way. Just because you can add alcohol to something doesn't mean you should.”

 

Rey watched Ben snort, pausing before he answered her to cut up his French toast and take a bite, the piece heavy with syrup. Hazily, she wondered if syrup would make any kisses sticky, a thought she all but pushed out of her mind's window, turning to her own plate.

 

“I was thinking it would help you forget to call me dear. Only Leia ever calls me dear,” Ben began down his plate of food, tossing a piece to Trooper who settled at the foot of the bed. 

 

“What should I call you for a nickname then, Ben?” Rey pretended to pout, taking a large bite, wondering why Ben was looking at her so curiously for.

 

“I’ve never really had a nickname. Han called me kid and Leia called me dear - but only when she was distracted,” Ben took a swig of orange juice, “Do you have one?”

 

“Kira and some fans call me Rey-Rey. You've called me ‘princess’ before. My family calls me dear and honey, and only really special people to me call me sweetheart. So Jyn and Cassian, Kira, Poe and a few other friends.” Rey considered Ben solemnly, nodding to herself. “And you, if you'd like. You can call me sweetheart.”

 

“That’s a lot of nicknames for someone so small,” Ben paused and watched Rey eat an impressive amount of food. He’d assumed that he’d get to eat most of it, but it seemed that Rey was a member of the Clean Plate Club. “I’ll save sweetheart for special occasions only.”

 

“Like what? What's your idea of a special occasion?” Rey dragged a finger through the leftover syrup before licking it, not looking up at Ben, more focused on cleaning her plate.

 

“Not sure. I’ll know it when I see it I suppose. Like how the Supreme Court knows the difference between art and pornography,” he replied, fascinated by Rey clearing her plate so  _ quickly  _ and then actually licking the plate clean. “I cooked, so you get to put the dishes in the kitchen.”

 

“Well, let me know when you figure it out, okay, Ben?” Rey paused as she stood, thinking as she absently took his plate. “You don't need a nickname. Your name is nice on its own.” 

 

Without thinking, she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for breakfast, Ben.” She turned on her heel, carefully carrying the plates to the sink before she could let herself think more on this. 

 

She'd blame it on the alcohol, to be sure, but it wasn't as if she didn't kiss her friends on the cheek before. But it was Ben, and her stomach was jumping with nerves and suddenly Rey wasn't quite sure if she knew what she was doing. 

 

She mixed up another White Russian, figuring that she'd need all the booze she could get.

 

Ben felt himself beginning to slip into a food coma as Rey settled back on to the bed pulling up a blanket from, picking up her guitar. “Thank you for taking care of the dishes, sweetheart.”

  
  


Rey felt her heart squeeze in a way that was so sweet that it hurt, a burst of happiness and then cold resignation slipping into her veins. She almost regretted telling Ben to call her sweetheart, instead passing him another pillow and blanket, her voice soft.

 

“No problem, Ben.”

  
  



	7. New York - St. Vincent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _New York isn't New York, without you love._
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Rey is working in Nashville and Ben has run out of episodes of Forensic Files to watch while she's gone. He doesn't miss her. No. Not at all.

Ben lay on his bed in Queens, idly changing chords, trying out various combinations. Rey had taught him some of the most popular, the ones that an astonishing number of popular songs had been based upon. That morning he’d gone about his usual routine when at home - chatting Mrs. McNulty, a coffee from Mr. Kim and the park with Trooper. He couldn’t resist buying the InStyle with Rey on the cover, earning him an amused smile from Mr. Kim. The older man had said nothing, just giving him a quick grin before putting the magazine into a plastic bag. It now sat on his bed next to Trooper, who snuffled mournfully at Ben. 

 

Even his dog missed Rey. 

 

**Ben** : How long are you in Nashville? I think Trooper is pining.

 

Rey heard her phone buzz despite Jyn loudly playing back the track they had been attempting to lay down and arrange for about a week now, sitting in her Nashville home’s studio. It had taken about two days to finish the song’s musical arrangement, two more days to write the lyrics, three days of playing around with the lyrics and rewriting, and now they were on the final steps, putting the final touches in place.

 

With a swipe of her thumb, Rey unlocked her phone screen, smiling at the message Ben had sent her. They had been texting rather consistently in the two weeks she had been out of New York, but it still struck her odd on how special she felt every time he texted, a flurry of butterflies assaulting her stomach. Typing quickly, she sent off her response, glad that Jyn wasn’t looking her way.

 

**Rey:** At least 2 more days? It depends on how quickly Jyn and I figure out the direction for the song.

 

She reread the text, snorting to herself as she sent a follow-up. Leave it to Ben to project his feelings via his dog.

 

**Rey:** What's your evidence for Trooper pining?

 

**Ben** : attached is Trooper licking a copy of InStyle with Rey on the cover

**Ben** : Looks pretty proof-like to me…

 

**Rey** : Well, the real question is-- did you buy the magazine, or did Trooper? I miss you both too

 

**Ben** : Shut up, sweetheart

 

**Rey** : Careful, Ben, I may start thinking that you actually like me.

 

**Ben:** Trooper definitely misses you. I’m only slightly dissatisfied with my level of human companionship.

 

Trooper made a disbelieving snuffling noise, as if he was able to read the text exchange between Ben and Rey. “Trooper, you do miss her. I’m not lying. You’ve been moping for the last two weeks,” Ben told his dog, who cocked his head at the sound of his owner’s voice. The dog’s expression, thoroughly unimpressed  seemed to say,  _ I am not your proxy, Ben Solo _ .  He scowled at Trooper. Maybe his trainer had done too good of a job with him, 

 

**Ben:** Well, I cannot have you thinking that I enjoy your company. The next thing you know we hang out everyday, and I make you food... oh wait.

 

**Rey** : You're a dork, Ben. What are you up to today? Going to see your friend, the journalist?

**Rey** : Or is there a specific emphasis for human contact and not journalists?

 

**Ben** : Wexley? He’s not my friend he’s a journalist. Friends give each other advice and stuff. Right?

**Ben** : Worried that I’ve made another friend, sweetheart?

 

Rey rolled her eyes at Ben calling her ‘sweetheart’ again, even if her cheeks glowed red. Looking away from her phone, she met Jyn’s amused eyes, the older woman’s mouth quirked into a smile. “I’m guessing Solo is feeling lonely? I should have left Cassian in New York to bug him and keep him distracted.”

 

“I’m pretty sure that I fucked up his routine a bit, so even if Cassian could keep him company, he’d still be asking me to come back.” Jyn hummed at the response, turning away again to sling her pair of headphones over the back of her chair, checking the levels. Rey sighed, texting Ben again.

 

**Rey:** I'm pretty sure Kaydel was telling me how you and Snaps try to give each other pep talks and how it doesn't work out. So yeah, he's your friend (kinda, because well, he's a journalist). And if you made another friend, sweetcheeks, I'd need to get their autograph.

 

**Ben:** Come back to New York.

**Ben** : Never talk like an old pervy director. Creepy.

 

**Rey:** I'm guessing Trooper stole your phone to tell me to come back to New York, because you're not that fond of me yet.

 

**Ben:** Definitely. He is a therapy dog, and highly trained.

 

**Rey:** Well, tell him that I'd  consider coming back to New York early if his owner also wanted me too, but since that's not the case, I'm going to stay down in Nashville.

 

She  attached a selfie now of herself in the studio, headphones on, peace sign up, smile wide and mischievous. She wondered if this was flirting, if she was crossing the invisible line they had made in the sand, but she couldn’t find it in her to mind.

 

Ben decided to send Rey a few seconds of a song idea he’d been kicking around since he’d picked his guitar back up. He hadn’t dared to go back to the piano, too many memories of learning it with Luke for him to be ready for that instrument. So far, it was just two lines, “New York isn’t New York, so far in a few blocks to be so low… You’re the only motherfucker in the city who can handle me.” It had stuck in his head since he and Rey had talked about why they loved living in New York even though they’d both grown up elsewhere. New York was his first and true love in many ways. He would send it as Rey was an expert and would like to hear it.

 

**Ben:** [ *audioclip* attachment](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cyyq_GWyJ2s)

**Ben:** Ok, so I wrote that just for you. Just now. Happy?

 

**Rey:** Aww, you do like me, dear.

**Rey** : However, we have a music video to film and no music for it so I'm stuck.

 

“Jyn, can you email me the two demos? I want to see what Ben thinks.” Her producer snorted, even as Rey’s phone buzzed with an email that she just forwarded on to Ben with the message “Which one?”

 

“This may be the most you’ve let someone into your creative process,” Jyn murmured, her eyes on the popstar as she laid sprawled on the couch, before her gaze flickered to the studio door as it swept open and Cassian stepped through, Poe following on his heel, both chattering about potential music videos, even though the track wasn’t ready quite yet.

 

Rey didn’t make any indication that she heard, but Jyn knew that she had, watching the singer’s cheeks flush to a dull red.

 

**Ben:** I like the piano.

**Ben:** So, did you like my song? Hmmm?

 

**Rey:** Cassian and Jyn just out voted you. I promise to have at least one song that's completely on the piano to make up for it. And you called me a motherfucker within the first 30 seconds of it, so yes, I love your song.

 

**Ben:** Man, the electoral college sucks.

**Ben** : Who said it’s about you?

 

**Rey** : You just told me that you wrote it "just for [me]"

 

**Ben:** You’re very literal.

 

**Rey:** Cmon, Ben, let me, the queen of writing songs about other people, have a song written about her.

 

**Ben:** The electoral college just outvoted me.

**Ben:** I promise to write you more than thirty seconds of nonsense where I call you a motherfucker.

 

**Rey** : You were only outvoted because apparently it's more badass to call out your ex boyfriend with a synthesizer than a piano.

**Rey:** I still think you should keep the 30 seconds. Start hoarding lyrics and voice notes, like I do.

 

He chewed his lip, Rey was not the type to say that she liked a song if she didn’t actually like it. His heart beat a little bit faster thinking that maybe he did do something creative that wasn’t acting. Ben didn’t like to admit it, but he felt  _ a lot of things, all the goddamn time _ . He was always thinking and feeling, it was part of the reason that he tried to keep himself apart from people. It had proved to be too much for even his family. Rey might be right, putting it all out in songs might be more efficient than siphoning it all off with each role that he took on. It might be healthier. He might take a vacation someday because he wouldn’t  _ need _ to work to feel sane, to feel some level of equilibrium. 

 

**Ben:** I’ll only do it if we get to sword fight in the next video.

 

**Rey:** You could just ask me more directly if you can kill me, but sure.

**Rey** : I ran the idea past Cassian and Poe. Cassian loves it, and Poe thinks I should wear a catsuit. Wtf.

 

**Ben:** I’m probably going to be shirtless for like 3/4 of thing, so I am going to want to kill you.

 

**Rey:** No, it's my turn to be the sexy one

**Rey:** ... okay, so Cassian said you'll be shirtless for at least 2/3 of the time, but he looked really apologetic

**Rey:** And I still get to be the sexy one. Poe is already looking into catsuits.

 

She raised an eyebrow at Poe, who was chattering on his phone now, presumably to Jessika, asking her to bring at least five of the outfits Rey had worn on her last tour. She almost wanted to butt in, suggest that she should wear something new, that she may not fit into her old concert outfits. But then Jessika came through the door, the jumpsuits balanced over one arm as she amusedly kept up her conversation with Poe as he chattered on.

 

Rey’s eyes fell to the slip of black fabric in the middle of the pile, and she felt her heart squeeze with hope. If she remembered right, that was the one outfit she hadn’t used on tour--it was too sexy, not her image. But things are always made to be broken, including fans’ expectations. Besides, if she remembered the fit of that particular catsuit, she probably would leave a certain someone gobsmacked.

 

Even though she was, of course, a professional and he was just her friend. It didn’t stop her smile from settling on her face as Jessika passed the pile over and Rey’s fingers immediately found the black and gold catsuit.

 

**Ben:** You’re trying to get me to say that you’re always the sexy one, aren’t you?

 

**Rey:** No, not at all. I was more hoping that you'd laugh at the idea of me being in a catsuit= you being shirtless.

 

**Ben:** Good. Because we know that I’m the sexy one in this friendship.

 

Ben bit his lip, adding in friendship because he’d been too flirty. He was getting creepy and had to make sure that he reminded himself that Rey was his friend.

 

**Rey:** Poe thinks this is the one. What do you think?

 

Attached to the message was a photo of Rey in a long sleeved black catsuit, gold detailing painting out and emphasizing the details of her body. The lines skirted up her arms, across her collarbone and continued on, almost seeming to section off the different parts of her body as if she was a poseable doll, save for the lines that rounded the soft curves of her breasts and ass. This was the closest Rey had ever gotten to wearing something that felt straight up sinful, even if she felt too innocent still to wear it properly.

 

Still, she had thrown her shoulders back, pushed her chest forward, and let Jessika take the picture, Poe calling out compliments while out of frame.

 

**Ben:** I’m sticking to my stance that I am the sexy one.

 

He tried to swallow, but there was a nasty part of him that would save that image of Rey in his brain for when he was lonely late on a Saturday night. Not that he was in working order, but sometimes he did daydream. Ben was only human. Sighing, he tried to think of something that wouldn’t be creepy. 

 

**Ben:** I like the gold.

 

**Rey:** I'm sure a "You look nice" wouldn't have put your claim to sexiness at risk, Benjamin.

**Rey:** I like the gold too. It makes my booty pop. 

 

As if to prove it, another message came in on Ben’s phone, this time focused on Rey’s back, the singer looking over her shoulder with a coy and almost embarrassed smile.

 

Rey giggled to herself at her last message, worrying in the back of her mind that she had maybe crossed the line. Was this flirting, or self confidence?

 

**Ben:** You know that my first name is just Ben, right?

**Ben:** See? I told you that you had a nice butt, you just didn’t believe me.

 

**Rey:** Yes, but it's too short for me to properly scold you with. And you complimented my butt after I told you that Hux was an ass about it.

**Rey:** Which makes this outfit better because my boobs and ass look great in this and I'm sure the entire internet will choke on their tongue seeing me like this.

 

**Ben:** No, I did it because I have eyes. We’ve been friends for how long now? I don’t lie or say things just to make people feel better. You’re scavenging for compliments. Compliment scavenger.

 

**Rey** : If you gave me more compliments, I wouldn't have to scavenge for them, Ben love.

 

She lifted her head from her phone for a moment, now curled up on the couch, her ears perking at Cassian and Poe’s conversation. A suggestion fell from Poe’s lips, and Rey’s brow furrowed, her fingers dancing across her touchscreen, a second text heading out for Ben.

 

**Rey:** Ben, what are your feelings on being tied down to a bed?

 

**Ben:** Professionally, I have no issue.

 

He choked on his breath, beginning to cough loudly and violently. Trooper came over and began to nuzzle at his face, trying to see if Ben was okay. Fuck. Fuck. What was happening? Is this how friendship works? He wasn’t really sure.

 

**Rey** : Cassian and Poe are asking for music video storyboards.

 

**Ben** : I figured

 

**Rey** : Wait, what's your personal preference with being tied down then?

 

**Ben:**  My personal preference is that I’m not talking about it.

 

Burying his face into a pillow, Ben screamed, making Trooper whine, obviously distressed. “Sorry, buddy. I am getting some really weird signals and I think I fucking hate text messaging.” He patted Trooper’s head, scratching behind his ears, trying not to think about the new medication that was getting shipped to his house tomorrow. The doctor reassured him there wouldn’t be side effects that were as severe. Just in case, she included a sample of a drug for erectile dysfunction. After that conversation, Ben wanted to punch everything, but mostly himself.  

 

**Rey:** I'm sorry.

 

Rey bit her lip, suddenly feeling ridiculous in the catsuit, feeling ridiculous in general. She wasn't sure why she asked, if she should have even asked. She squeezed her eyes shut, suddenly thinking of how Ben would look under her instead of over her, like he had been in the last video. 

 

Rey bit the inside of her cheek hard, forcing herself to breathe through her nose, to calm down, another text making her phone buzz in her hand.

 

**Ben** : It’s okay. It’s kind of touchy since I’m still trying to fix my medication situation

 

**Rey** : Oh, that's right.

**Rey:** I'm still sorry-- I keep getting curious about that stuff since I've never done anything like that. (Which is, like, super sad?)

 

**Ben:** To further your education, it’s like anything - with the right person it’s a lot of fun.

 

**Rey:** Got it. Also-- Cassian and Poe decided that it's going to be me getting tied down for some dramatic purposes. Try not to think too long and hard on that image.

 

**Ben:** I thought we established that things not being hard for me wasn’t an issue?

 

**Rey:**  Jesus christ, Ben.

 

She felt her cheeks flame up, plucking one of the throw pillows to hide behind for a moment. She wasn’t quite sure if she should be even picturing him like that, but here she was, pressing the pillow to her face to muffle her embarrassed groan.

 

**Ben:** I’m trying to laugh about it? Plus, it’s not like I can hide how tall I am.

 

**Rey:** Jyn is harrumphing at you. She just read your last message over my shoulder

 

**Ben:** Jyn - she brought up my dick first

**Ben:** you’re a thirsty compliment scavenger

 

**Rey:** What can I say-- I like compliments from self proclaimed sexy men

 

She wanted to bash her head against the wall and forget what an idiot she was being. Again with the flirting slips! Across from her, Jyn was rolling her eyes and smirking, and Rey wondered why everyone seemed so invested in her and Ben when she didn’t even know what to do about the situation.

 

**Ben** : I cannot help it if people like Bryonic, monosyllabic types.

 

**Rey:** You're unbearable sometimes

 

**Ben:** You picked me, sweetheart

 

**Rey:** And you'll never let me forget it

 

**Ben:** Yup.

**Ben:** does this mean that you’ll come back now that you have a song and a semi-pornographic video concept?

 

Rey looked at Jyn, her headphones on once more, head bobbing in time with the song. If her producer turned around, gave her the thumbs up, it meant that they were good, that they could head back to New York. That she could head back to Ben.

 

That thought shouldn’t have had her crossing her fingers, but as she padded down to the bathroom at the end of the hall, clothes tucked under her arm, she couldn’t help it.

 

**Rey** : Only if you admit that you miss me too

 

**Ben:** It’s been two weeks and I miss you.

**Ben:** Do you also want to hear that you’re my best friend?

**Ben:** Fine. You are my best friend.

 

Trooper had crawled into his lap after he sent the last text to Rey about her being his best friend. She was also his only friend, but that didn’t seem to account for the intensity of their connection from the first day they’d met in Poe’s stupid office in the Tenderloin. Rey just got him in a way that no one else seemed to, or at least wanted to that wasn’t charging him a significant amount of copay to hear about his problems. Maybe it’s because they grew up with everyone watching. Or that Rey, like him, just felt everything  _ all the time _ . It didn’t account for how easy it was to be around her. It was natural, and that was something rare, special. 

  
  


**Rey:** You're such a goof,but you're my goof. Jyn is trying to book a last minute flight, but I should be home either in the morning or tomorrow night. I'll let you know, best friend.

 

**Ben:** I’m not coming to Midtown. Come to Queens.

 

**Rey:** You'll have to give me directions, but okay.

**Rey:** As long as this isn't a plot to lure me in and kill me for making you forgo a shirt, it sounds like a plan.

 

**Ben:** I promise to put on pants and I’ll cook you breakfast.

 

**Rey:** You're a friend after my heart. I may take your bed over so I can cuddle with Trooper, seeing that he was pining so.

 

**Ben** : Once you get in there, you’re never going to want to leave. It’s really comfortable. I’m just warning you.

 

**Rey:** Is that a promise, or your hope?

 

**Ben** : A promise. I don’t do roommates.

 

As if on cue, Trooper licked his face, “Trooper, you’re not a roommate. You’re my dog.” The black lab licked him a second time and whined a little, “Fine, I wasn’t thinking about Rey staying with me as a roommate because I am weird, sick old man. Is that it?” 

 

The traitor let out a soft  _ woof _ of agreement and Ben wondered if he should get a new dog, as Rey had clearly usurped Trooper’s love. 

 

**Rey:** Even ones as cute as me?

 

**Ben:** Nope.

 

**Rey:** I'm trying to find my middle finger emoji, but in the meantime... 

 

Rey carefully held her phone up, flashing her middle finger at the front-facing camera, feigning her best pout. She hoped that he laughed at the picture, that he knew she was joking, her heart squeezing in a way that was becoming all too familiar when it came to Ben.

 

**Ben:** I love you too Rey.

 

**Rey:** Mhmmm. See you in New York, sexy

 

**Ben:** I’m letting Trooper chew on your InStyle.

 

**Rey** : I'm not the one who spent $5 on a magazine because it had my face on it.

**Rey:** At least you're not practicing your kissing skills on my face.

 

Ben flushed and threw the magazine into the garbage bin next to his bed. He didn’t need any ammunition laying around when she got here. It was hard not to smile, he’d missed Rey a lot. 

 

**Ben:** Shut up and get on a plane.

 

Rey grinned, rolling her eyes before clicking on her camera again, this time singing, serenading Ben jokingly. “Ooh, someone got called out.”

 

She laughed, waving at the camera, hoping that her flush wasn’t noticeable in the video. “I’ll see you soon, Ben. Give Trooper a kiss or tummy scratch for me.” Without thinking, she blew a kiss, clicking off the recording and hitting send.

 

Ben opened the video and watched Rey a couple of times. This was bad. She was his friend and yeah, he totally had a crush on her. The crazy, intense guy with a broken dick and a battalion of doctors who addressed his mental health issues on a regular basis. It was nice though, feeling something again. It had been years since he’d hoped or even considered liking anyone. 

 

Turning on the camera, Ben waved at Rey, “See you soon.” He aimed the camera down at Trooper who looked at the camera totally disinterested.

 

It wasn’t until after he sent the video that Ben considered that he’d been sitting in bed with just his underwear and flannel shirt on, wide open. Yikes.

 

**Rey:** Ben Solo, next time you send that kind of material, warn someone. Poe is currently choking on his gum because he looked over my shoulder

**Rey:** And I don’t want any more complaints about shirtless scenes, Captain Underwear.

 

**Ben:** I don’t know it’s reassuring or not, but I didn’t even think about it first. So, yay for being  _ really comfortable _ around you? 

 

**Rey:** That’s one way to say it. I’ll see you soon. Put some pants on.


	8. I Did Something Bad-- Taylor Swift

"Remind me what I did to make you want an excuse to chase me around a set with a sword? I thought we were getting along better."

 

Rey felt self-conscious, the form-fitting black bodysuit being completely different from last video's wardrobe: sexier, more lethal. If she had thought that wearing it in front of her crew and asking them to take pictures of it for Ben was embarrassing, she still had yet to find a word to describe how she felt now that he was here, in person, sizing her up as if she was either his prey or his enemy. Either way, it was comforting to know that he was probably already in character.

 

Ben smirked at her, looking away at the sword in his hand, and she rolled her eyes with a sigh.

 

"I am really excited about pretending to try to kill you with this sword. I should probably talk to someone about it, but meh," Ben grinned and shrugged, looking at Rey's bodysuit before leaning over to whisper into her ear,"Have you thought about just wearing body paint? Because at this point? I mean, who wouldn't chase you around in that?"

 

He really shouldn’t be teasing her, and more importantly himself. They had  _ such a good thing _ . She’d come to his apartment straight from dropping her bags at home and threw herself into his bed, “Make me food, Ben. Also, your bed is comfortable… I guess you weren’t just bragging.”  They spent the rest of the afternoon watching random stuff on Amazon while working through scraps of songs that Rey had been collecting on her phone. She hadn’t pushed to see his notes after playing her  _ New York _ that one time. No one had ever really respected his privacy or need to work through things in his own time. Ben was going to fuck this up and he would probably never get over the disappointment.

 

"I wanted to make something edgy, not porn." She simpered at him, hands on hips. "Besides, for all I know, this could be the only thing keeping you from out and out killing me."

 

"Anyways, it was my turn to be the piece of meat, so you're welcome." She glanced away as Rose appeared at her side, waving her over so she could touch up Rey's black lipstick. The popstar may have rolled her hips intentionally as she walked away-- even if she wasn't trying to flirt with Ben, the thought of getting him a little choked up was too good to ignore.

 

Fuck, Fuck. Watching Rey walk away, throwing a little roll of her hips with every step it was hard not to consider the impossible - Rey liked him. He wasn’t some creep that couldn’t handle a relationship with a woman. Rey might actually like him in a romantic way. Ben dismissed the thought like an incessant text message notification. There was no way. This was  _ Rey _ . She was beautiful, kind and talented. No way.

 

**…...**

Sitting around on set waiting for the next shot, Kira was armed with a DSLR and doing interviews for YouTube. She sauntered over to Ben, pointed the camera at his face and asked, "So, it looks like you're Rey's muse. How does that feel?"  

 

Watching Rey go through B roll with Cassian was hilarious. She was nodding up and down as if she and Cassian were negotiating a major peace treaty. Then again, working with Rey, everything was major. CNN had said that she had a higher profile and approval rating than the President. It was hard to reconcile that with the goofball brunette who curled into his bed to play music and watch Discovery ID shows for hours. Ben rolled his eyes at Kira and smiled fondly, "I'm just happy to be here. I have a sword and there are really good snacks." Later, she realized that the fond smile was directed at Rey, who had been standing behind her, animatedly talking with Cassian.

 

Kira hummed to herself, playing back the recording, glancing up at where Ben and Rey now stood, talking and practicing their drill between takes. Watching the two of them together was like a dance somehow--Ben lunged for Rey, his hand circling her wrist to stop her from striking, pulling her closer.

 

The older Kenobi wasn’t sure how her sister was feeling or reacting, just that she was blushing and that the script called for them kissing--or almost kissing, depending on Cassian’s vision. Still, just being a casual bystander to whatever was going on between them had Kira intrigued, giddy, worried. It was about time that Rey had someone who felt things as intensely as she did. She just hoped that the two of them wouldn’t burn the other out.

**….**

The hardest part of this music video was either the bodysuit or performing choreography with swords. Rey wasn't sure which aspect was the bane of her existence, just that this morning, Ben and her had ran their sword drill just about perfect until Rey had over-reached and there was the obvious riiiiip of fabric.

 

The singer awkwardly stood, trying to shoo her worried costar away as he looked her over, trying to figure out where the damage was. She shivered at the brush of his hand on her wrist as he lifted her arm to check for rips and his eyes found hers. For a second, she felt like she couldn’t breathe, something warm, tender and almost expectant in Ben’s eyes before he turned her around.

 

She wasn’t sure what to think, feeling Ben’s breath against her hair, his touch gentle, his voice quiet as he muttered to himself, trying to figure out where the damage was... until he saw the tear in the fabric of her bodysuit, right on the ass.

 

Rey had never seen Ben laugh so hard, and she felt her cheeks flush once more.

 

The bodysuit ripped right on Rey’s ass, revealing a pale curve of leg just below where her underwear would be visible. Her embarrassed flush was adorable and made him feel more than a little guilty about laughing hysterically at her predicament.

 

"Body paint. Just go with body paint," he said between gasps of laughter, hoping that no one caught him looking at that tantalizing sliver of skin revealed by her body suit. Ben had seen Rey in a lot less, but somehow that did more for him than he was aware of.

 

He excused himself and walked quickly back to the trailer where Trooper waited. Shushing Trooper, Ben locked himself in the bathroom and unzipped his pants, laughing at himself. His doctor was right. The new medication wouldn’t inhibit any  _ activities _ while stabilizing his depression. Ben checked his watch and considered that tear in Rey’s catsuit. It shouldn’t take too long, he had time.

 

Rey wasn’t quite sure where Ben had disappeared to, but after presenting the damages to Cassian, the director had sent her looking for her co-star, his hand scratching at his beard as he tried to recall if the actor had any experience with sewing. Considering the fact they had let wardrobe head out for lunch early, Ben would be the next best option to stay on time with filming.

 

Trying to walk fast but careful, Rey rounded the corner and tried not to sprint for Ben’s trailer, knowing that she was just asking for a bigger rip to form, one that may show off more than a little bit of her backside. She could have cried with relief when she finally made it to the door, one hand still covering the rip as the other lifted and knocked on his door.

 

“Ben, do you have a second?”

 

It sounded as if chaos erupted in the trailer, a cacophony of sounds starting off with a simple gasp and then following with what sounded like a crash. Trooper began to bark loudly. Rey recoiled for a moment, surprised. Maybe she had caught him at a bad time. Maybe he tripped and fell. There was a spell of silence, and Rey waited awkwardly before knocking again.

 

“Ben, you okay?”

 

Just as he was about to come, he heard Rey knocking, which made him knock into the bathroom door, which hadn’t been closed properly and nearly fall on his ass. “Fuck, fuck,” Ben chanted under his breath as he got his bearings before washing his hands and tossing the used tissue into the sink. Straightening his clothing, Ben answered the door, red-faced and more than a little shy.

 

“Sorry Rey, weird morning. What’s up?” Be casual. He could be casual.  

 

Rey smiled nervously, looking down before forcing her eyes back up. “Ben, your fly is undone.” She was just going to assume that she had caught him mid-pee, her face reddening at the less likely alternative, trying not to rub her thighs together. That was something to think about later. “Um, can you sew? And if so, can you help with… you know.”

 

She half turned, gesturing at the rip again, being sure not to look him in the eyes.

 

“Yeah, I can sew you up. Thanks for telling me about my fly, I always forget to do up button fly jeans.” Cursing, Ben sat down on his couch and gestured for the needle and thread, “Give it here. It might not be pretty, but you won’t be able to see it on camera.”

 

Rey sighed gratefully, stepping in front of where Ben sat and slightly bracing herself against the small trailer’s table. She should feel weird about this, should be overthinking this, but nope, they were just friends. Right? She cursed at herself, trying to keep her mind blank, trying not to think of anything dirty while Ben’s hands were so close to her.

**…..**

While waiting for the next shot, so much of his job is about waiting, Ben pulled out his phone and created a Twitter account. Rey had been bugging him to have at least one social media account, so he picked Twitter for the news.  **"@reykenobi - Twitter is ridiculous and full of fascists. I'm only on here because you made a sad face."**

 

Rey snorted when her phone pinged with Ben's Twitter mention.  _ "@bensolo I can't tweet now, I'm getting body paint applied because *someone* keeps breaking character over my bodysuit." _

 

**"Dear World, If you want to see @reykenobi in body paint, you're in luck. You're welcome. Just know that she chews with her mouth open and snores when she falls asleep sitting up."**

 

Rey could see Ben attempting innocence as she glanced over her shoulder to see his eyes on her. Rolling her eyes, she started typing again.  _ "@bensolo had never seen Titanic until I showed him two days ago and he cried the entire time. If you want to see me kick his butt with a sword, you're in luck." _

 

**"Here's the thing, @reykenobi is obsessed with my dog."**

 

_ "I caught @bensolo talking in a baby voice at my cat yesterday. He says it was to mock me, but he was talking to Artie, so I think it was bonding." _

 

"@bensolo @reykenobi it's shit like this that makes us all think you're dating." Rey turned to glare at Kira, who innocently pocketed her phone. "Spoilsport."

 

Ben sighed and tweeted,  **"Uhh, if I actually ever had a girlfriend, I would make Tom Cruise on Oprah look like a guy walking The Middle Path. I would *never* lie about it either. We're friends."**

 

**"@kirakenobi, don't be mad that I found your shrine to my man bun and throw your sister under the bus."**

 

Rey's laughter echoed throughout the set, instantly retweeting Ben’s reply. She didn’t care that Kira chased her around set for the next five minutes, screeching and squealing with embarrassment as Cassian looked on with exasperation and amusement. Rey was sure that Ben was trying to hold his laughter in check, the corners of his mouth quirking up, his eyes dancing as he followed the sisters’ chase.

 

For his first day on Twitter, Ben had the most retweets out of everyone in the room.

**…….**

Seeing another moment for the behind the scenes footage, Kira came up to her sister, who seemed to be casually leaning against the back of a chair."So you just ripped the bodysuit for the fourth time, the same place. What's your plan for recovery?"

 

Rey rolled her eyes, sighing, a begrudging smile twisting up her lips as she deadpanned, "Find someone with sewing skills to keep on set at all times so it doesn't have to be my costar each time."

 

Kira then panned down to Ben, who was awkwardly squatting behind her, needle and thread in hand, not paying attention to the camera in his face. She panned back up to Rey, who was smirking. "At this point, body paint would be less embarrassing."

 

That much was true--Rey had been constantly blushing since the first rip, and now Ben was practically following her around set with needle and thread in hand, clucking his tongue at her if she moved too fast or bent over to suddenly, as if he was afraid that his sewing job would give out should she breathe.

 

It didn’t help that the rip was always in that same spot, too close to her privates for comfort, but just far away enough that she didn’t truly feel the need to shoo Ben away. And of course, he was the only one on set who could sew quickly enough, seeing that the stylists always seemed to have been pulled away for more pressing matters. She tried not to jump out of her skin when she felt Ben’s hand on her hip, his palm warm, almost searing through the catsuit as he steadied both her and himself.

 

Ben shrugged, "I think she's doing it on purpose at this point. I can't blame her,  gorgeous guy like me." He tied off the thread and bit the end off, his mouth dangerously close to Rey's "bathing suit areas." Kira was sticking the camera in his face and all he could think of doing was tonguing that exposed strip of skin.

 

Fuck. Fuck. He was a creep.

 

Ben made a face and stood up, "You guys are the thirstiest girls I've ever met." He whistled for Trooper and wandered away.

 

Kira turned the camera back to Rey, who was trying to remain calm and collected even as her cheeks flushed. "He's just happy that I actually wore underwear under the bodysuit."

 


	9. Wildest Dreams-- Taylor Swift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we finally get explicit. Enjoy.
> 
> Set immediately after chapter eight.

Rey had worked very hard to get away from the "girly-girl" assumption the media had made long before she had been old enough to live alone. If anything, the only girly thing about the entire place was the overabundance of blankets and pillows in almost every room except for the kitchen and dining room.

 

When she had first given Ben a tour of her New York apartment, Artie tucked under his arm (the cat and Ben bonded more than she'd expected, but Ben shrugged it off as the two both being grumpy old men), she'd taken pride in his surprise at the simple dark wood floors, how the walls were a simple cream, how everything was clean and minimalistic.

 

Today, though, the space seemed louder, showier, and Rey was fairly sure that it was because of the small crowd in her living room, four people chattering. Ben sat in the middle of the chaos, and for once, he wasn't sticking out like a sore thumb. It was like he belonged.

 

Ben felt a little sleepy after drinking a glass of wine or three. Rey was wide awake, chatting happily with Kira, while Trooper slept in Artie's cat bed, entirely too big for the fish-shaped cushion. He pulled out his phone, "Hey - I'm going to head home. I need some quiet after today." It was a lot to take in, Rey nearly walking in on him while jerking off for the first time in months, the hole in her pants and the ever-increasing level of feelings that he felt towards Rey.

 

Ben closed his eyes, scratching Artie behind the ears. He just needed to go home, take Trooper for a walk and sort through everything while he stared at the ceiling in the dark.

 

Rey glanced at him, feeling a small pout trying to form on her lips, even as she forced her face to remain smooth. She wasn’t sure whether or not if she should ask him to stay, if she’d be giving herself away by asking. If she should even trust herself to be around him, thinking of how desperate she had been for reprieve earlier, after he had touched her, just trying to mend her stupid catsuit.

 

"Are you sure?" She looked at the clock, standing to stretch before glancing to her guests, Jyn and Cassian still talking with Poe. Kira looked at her curiously, seeming to try to catch her eye as if to ask if she needed help with something.

 

"Yeah, I just need to introvert for a while. If you want to come up later, that'd be good. I got a new season of Forensic Files we can watch," Ben smiled lopsidedly, obviously tired after the long day of shooting.

 

"Ben, you don't have to leave." Rey's eyes snapped to her sister who now stood as well, giving a pointed look to the Andor-Ersos and Poe. "I was just about to take these guys to that totally cool, new bar I was telling them about ."

 

The older Kenobi sister fixed them with an unsubtle stare. To their credit, Jyn and Cassian merely smiled, getting up to murmur goodbyes to Rey before heading to grab their coats. Poe quirked an eyebrow at Kira, confused.

 

"You didn't tell me about any ba---ow, okay, okay!" Poe winced at the elbow the older Kenobi jammed into his ribs to shush him. Kira scoffed under her breath before turning back to her sister and Ben, all but pushing Poe out of the room with a grin.

 

"Enjoy the quiet time!"

 

The apartment's front door clicked firmly behind them, and Rey blinked, surprised. "I think we've been set up." She dithered on the spot, unsure whether to sink back down into the couch and enjoy Ben’s company or to run in the other direction. She wasn’t sure what she was allowed to think, or do, or say when it came to him, only that she was trying to balance herself between Ben’s expressed disinterest in dating and her heart’s more impractical fantasies.

 

They wouldn’t work in the long run, she was sure. No one ever stuck around her very long, especially men that she dated. She wasn’t about to give Ben a reason to walk away.

 

Ben frowned, watching the entire scene,"You're probably right. Feel free to confess your love for me after I find my hoodie. I'm cold."

 

He wandered into the front hall and pulled his hoodie off of the hook that Rey had labeled "Ben" at some point. No one had ever given him a drawer or a hook in their apartment before. Not that he’d ever been a relationship that had lasted longer than two or three dates. They weren't dating, but it was hard sometimes to remember that.

 

Ben pulled on his sweatshirt and came back into Rey's living room, laying down on her massive couch. It was nice that Rey had made space for him in her life, even after a month. No one had ever really done that for him. The only space that was ever _his_ was his apartment that he’d bought after enrolling in college. Everyone always seemed so put-out and busy whenever Ben had tried to find a place in their life or make space for his own. So far, Rey hadn’t indicated she resented him, she seemed to be really fond of him.

 

Rey rolled her eyes at him. "If either of us are confessing love to the other, it's definitely you first." She cleared her throat. "I'm going to get in my pajamas and grab a snack. Do you want anything? Speak now, because once I get back to the couch, I'm not getting up again."

 

They both knew that wasn't true, Ben teasing her for never being able to turn off her hostess instinct.

 

"I am dying alone, with Trooper by my side. I don't have emotions because I use them all up for work," Ben nodded, "Sounds good." He pulled his Amazon account up on Rey's tv and found the season he'd just ordered, "Wear socks, because I will kill you if you get me with your icicle toes." Ben had never been in a position to make such demands or requests. He was so unsure what was happening or what to do next. The best thing he could do was whatever felt most natural to him.

 

"I have to keep you awake somehow." She teased back, catching herself before she could lean down and kiss him on the forehead. She had been catching herself about to do that for the past week at least.

 

Rey quickly turned, heading down the hall to her bedroom. After pulling on a pair of leggings and a baggy sweatshirt (she was sure it was Ben's, but couldn't remember when or why she'd have it), she stepped into her bathroom, considering herself as she pulled her hair up into a bun, wiped away all her makeup.

 

There was something going on in her head when it came to Ben, and she was hesitant to name it. Kira didn't have any qualms, teasing her baby sister about the crush she had on Ben.Whenever Kira started talking about Ben though, Rey had a tendency to shut out her voice. She didn’t need to hear whether or not the actor had been looking at her between scenes or if he had smiled when he thought no one was looking. She didn’t need anyone else to be reading into his body language, his facial expressions, the tone of his voice. Rey was over analyzing things just as well on her own.

 

Rey wrinkled her nose at herself, plucking a pair of thick thermal socks from the dresser as she passed, heading back out.

 

"Last call for snacks-- if you don't speak now, you either starve or get it yourself." She called as she ducked into the kitchen, making a beeline for the microwave popcorn she always kept around.

 

Ben had pulled on his old man glasses and had drained the last of his wine when Rey came out wearing his sweatshirt. He felt his chest get warm and tight looking at her in his clothes. When had that happened? Ben could hear her puttering around in the kitchen, "I'm good! Where are the blankets? We need more blankets."

 

"There's an entire basket of them behind the couch. Grab me an extra pillow too, will you?" Rey hummed to herself as she grabbed two bags of popcorn and a large bowl. Even if he never outright said that he wanted anything, Ben always stole a bite or two of her food. She always acted like she minded, but now she was just used to making extra.

 

Once the popcorn was done and she had made the perfect mug of hot chocolate (she knew he wouldn't touch this-- he wasn't a fan of overly sweet things), Rey returned to the couch.

 

"Move, or I'm holding you down and putting my icicle toes up your shirt."

 

"Uhh, no. I don't trust you not to do that and like, Snapchat the video. You're gonna sit up here with me, where your toes are far away from me," Ben had pulled the extra pillow putting it by his, and made an extra layer of blankets between himself and Rey. Biology wasn't his friend lately. He patted the space in front of him, "Come on, I know you're a little spoon, deep down."

 

Over their month or so of hanging out, it had become apparent that Rey was a cuddler. She constantly sought out warmth and touch whenever possible. It was as if she would be in pain or would starve without them. Whenever Rey seemed uncomfortable or otherwise not happy, it simply took someone giving her this attention to perk her back up. Ben had only done it a couple of times, but it was intoxicating, addictive, to see her so happy because of him. It was so easy to see how your happiness could hinge on another person - if that person was like Rey Kenobi.

 

Rey dramatically sighed, setting the snacks down on the table before plopping down next to Ben, wiggling the socks at him. "Don't worry, I'll put them on and everything."

 

She could feel her stomach tightening with nerves and excitement when Ben pulled her close after the socks were on her feet, and she wondered if friends usually cuddled like this, or if this was just how she and Ben worked and she was just overthinking it. She couldn’t even remember how they had started the habit of cuddling, figuring that it may have started one lazy afternoon after both had fallen asleep and woken up in the other’s arms.

 

She didn't say anything, wriggling closer before reaching for the popcorn, listening to the Forensic Files theme play as Ben finally pressed play.

 

"Thank you for putting on socks. I'm not even going to ask how you got my sweatshirt because I'm pretty sure that all the shirts I'm missing are in your closet," Ben let out a sigh, both tired and content. They were just friends, but sometimes he wondered if Rey would ever actually consider him as a lover. Probably not. Probably a terrible idea to even consider.

 

"I have a theory that you're trying to slowly move in-- you keep leaving things here." She snuggled closer, popping a handful of popcorn into her mouth. "Not that I mind-- your shirts are comfy. They're like dresses. I've used a few of your t-shirts to just wander around the apartment in."

 

Rey flushed with that admission, all but shoving more popcorn into her mouth before she could say more.

 

She tried not to think of the last time she'd done something as simple as cuddling with a guy while wearing his clothes. It had been at least two years and two boyfriends ago. Hux had been particular about not sharing his things and insisted that he wasn't a touchy person, so to even compare him to Ben's ease at both sharing and holding her was almost unfair to her fickle ex.

 

It didn't matter, she decided, sighing and nuzzling the arm that Ben had under her, absentmindedly kissing the palm of his hand.

 

"This is why everyone thinks we're in love. You're wandering around half-dressed in my clothes. Some magazines are going to figure it out and I am going to die laughing as you try to explain that one. I am not going to even try and help you because you totally dug that hole all on your own." The proprietary feeling that he got from seeing Rey in his clothes made Ben pause. He didn’t own Rey, he wasn’t her boyfriend. It didn’t stop him from feeling as if he’d accomplished some great feat when he looked at her in his sweatshirt. Ben hadn’t climbed Everest, but he felt that way. What the fuck was wrong with him? He should have gone home when he’d had a chance to make it not awkward.

 

Ben laughed as the narrator explained how the victim's husband had been so kind and loving. "At least no one will ever think I'm a murder suspect. It's always the really sweet and loving friend or husband."

 

"I only wander around the apartment in your clothes-- and besides, it's like the really simple t-shirts, so it'll look like they're grasping at straws. I've played this game before, Solo." Rey wished that she was joking, that she was being flippant about it, but when your life outside of your home is like a demented game of hiding and seek with the paparazzi, you learn a thing or two.

 

She knew how to throw tabloids off her scent, especially when it came to boys. Never take anything that they have been photographed in. Always leave early in the morning and out the back door if possible. Never look too happy or sad to be leaving or to be wearing anything of theirs.

 

Of course, with Ben, she sometimes wondered if she would forget all those rules. If he was hers to have and hold, she’d want everyone to know-- not for the attention, but to make a point that she had found someone who actually made her happy. Of course, this couldn’t happen. It wouldn’t happen. She’d be stuck playing games with the paparazzi until she stepped out of the spotlight for good.

 

Rey considered Ben's commentary, rolling her eyes. "Right, because you're so scary. You literally called my toes icicles and willingly baby talk at my cats. You're not sweet whatsoever ."

 

Glancing over her shoulder at Ben's attempt at a dirty look, she snorted. "Remind me to start carrying a note in my pocket saying that you did it if I end up murdered."

 

Ben snorted,"That only works if I am your husband or lover. There's no actual evidence that I've ever done either of those things, so I am safe. I'm dark and broody." He pulled Rey close, wrapping an arm around her waist,"You're like a space heater. And I'm like, a Bryonic asshole. I am definitely not a suspect in your murder."

 

He tried not to think too hard about Rey kissing his hand. Was this her way of trying to make him feel better? Had someone noticed that no one really touched him outside of work? Ben wasn’t an easy person to be around, and that made very basic acts of physical affection rare. Not just an endangered species, but something that had died out eons ago, like when fish first slithered onto land. Perhaps Rey was just assuming that because physical contact relaxed her, she would have the same effect on Ben. That was probably it. Nothing more than that… Unless.

 

"Seeing that you're allegedly my lover, it's not too far of a leap to accuse you of my hypothetical murder." Sneakily, she toed off one sock and slipped her foot against his leg, feeling him jerk in surprise. "Especially if I keep doing shit like that." She tried to look innocent, but her smirk gave her away.

 

He hissed,"Fuck. You're like that stupid princess from Frozen,"Ben dug his fingers into Rey's ribs, going in for the kill, "If I did kill you, they would understand."

 

Rey squealed, trying to wriggle away from Ben's fingers, but he held her fast, his arms caging her in a way that was all too familiar now. She supposed that she was grateful for having enough foresight to put the popcorn back on the coffee table, Ben's fingers too easily finding her ticklish spots. Still, she flailed, trying to plead for mercy even as she laughed, sides aching as he grinned down at her.

 

Ben looked down at Rey fondly, she was laughing and flailing around while staring up at him through her eyelashes. Moments like this were coming more often, and it was harder to not want more. Even though it was impossible.

 

Noticing that he had stilled-- for the most part-- above her, Rey took the opportunity to hook her legs around Ben's waist, bracketing his legs as she attempted to flip them, tried to gain the upper hand again. It almost worked seamlessly, and she groaned at the effort it took to get the man on his back. She didn't think of how she was straddling him until she looked down at his face, surprise breaking through his usually stoic nature.

 

"So, I guess you've been taking leg day more seriously," he joked, trying to wiggle out from under Rey, who kept her legs locked in place. Ben didn't know where to look because he always looked Rey in the eye. The intimacy of their position, the eye contact was getting to be too much, and Ben was getting into a dangerous situation.

 

"I think it's part of the reason why the bodysuit's been ripping, honestly." Rey knew that she should move, swallowing thickly. Her legs burned from trying to keep him pinned in place and trying not to let herself sit on his lap.

 

"I think it's because you want to tease me about my sewing skills. I did study costuming while at NYU," Ben tried unsuccessfully to wiggle out from under Rey. He could flip her, but he didn't want to accidentally hurt her.

 

"I didn't know you could sew. I think you just wanted to touch my butt." She leaned closer, teasingly, stage whispering, "We had a backup bodysuit for exactly this reason, but you kept wanting to sew, and who am I to say no to Ben Solo being a sweetheart?"

 

"I'm not a sweetheart, and you're the one that asked me if I knew how to sew," Ben pouted and tried not to lean towards Rey. He was in trouble, so much trouble. Leaning forward was taking an extraordinary effort from Ben. It was like the time that he tried to move his bed alone, with Trooper sitting in a corner, whining in distress. He’d done it, but Ben had hurt the next day. Tomorrow, he would be hurting.

 

"You are too a sweetheart.  And I asked you that as a joke. You asked me if there was any way you could help, and I answered with sarcasm." She furrowed her brow. "I obviously have to work on my sarcastic tone."

 

She gave up trying to not sit on him, wincing as she settled her weight on him, careful to avoid his lap directly. Even if there was a good chance that he only thought of her as a friend, he was still a man. His body still reacted to things.

 

"It's not my fault if I take what you say seriously," he complained, continuing to try and wiggle out from Rey's weight without killing her, "I just believe people when they say things."

 

"And I appreciate it-- you're one of the few people who does that." She felt him wiggling now, and she bit her lip, trying to think of anything besides the man under her. God, did she want to keep thinking about him though, watching him bite his plump bottom lip, wondering why she hadn’t taken more care to remember how they felt under hers. Of course, when she had kissed him, it had been on camera and she knew by now that clandestine kisses were always better than ones the fans would see.

 

Still, at this point, Rey knew that she’d have to take what she could get--the alternative was to suffer with nothing. "Ben, please stop moving." Her voice came out huskier than she intended, and she groaned internally. "Just say please, and I'll get off."

 

"I know," Ben continued to wiggle only succeeding in moving Rey onto his lap, "I'm not going to say please because now it's like the principle of the matter."

 

"Ben, really, stop moving please ." She hated how she whined, but she felt as if she was two well-placed swipes of his hips under hers from leaning down and making a mistake.

 

"Oh, now you're saying please?" Ben laughed and used that moment when Rey's guard was down to flip her over onto her back, with him now sitting on her legs, one foot braced on the floor,"Hah."

 

Rey just about swallowed her tongue, squeezing her eyes shut as her mind, the traitor, bombarded her with images of what she'd like him to do next. She felt as if she was burning up, and she wasn't sure what to say to him, her mouth going dry as he jokingly pinned her hands above her head.

 

Holding her hands above her head, Ben reached down and tickled Rey's sides, digging into the sensitive skin between her ribs. He couldn't help but cackle at the vulnerable expression on Rey's face, "See? I am definitely the bad guy." A bad guy who was thinking bad things about his sweet, kind friend Rey. Fuck. He wanted to be a good guy. Ben wanted Rey more than he wanted to be a good guy.

 

With her hands pinned, Rey wasn't able to cover her mouth, muffle the gasp that he accidentally coaxed out of her mouth, his fingers leaving goosebumps in her wake. She was so screwed.

 

Ben stopped ticking Rey, and looked down at her, "Hey, are you ok?" He released her hands and stroked her cheek, "You look like you've seen a ghost."

 

 _This man is actually trying to kill me_ , Rey thought, closing her eyes and groaning internally. He was still hovering over her, his hand soft on her face, fingers gently rounding her jawline. If he wanted to, he could tilt her chin up, cup her face, pull her closer. She didn’t know if it’d be the right moment for it, but God did she want it.

 

"I'm fine." That easily was the biggest lie she had ever told, feeling a flush spread from her neck downward. She kept her hands rooted at her sides, anything to keep them from grabbing Ben's shirt, to bring his lips to hers.

 

"No, you're not. You're a terrible liar," Ben moved off Rey's legs and paused the Forensic Files episode that they had been ignoring for at least a half an hour. God, he knew it. It was going to be weird and Rey was going to hate him. No, no, no.

 

Rey sighed with relief as Ben got up, and she tried not to meet his eyes for at least a moment as her heartbeat slowed from its previous sprinting pace. She was sure that her pupils were blown, that her body was just about ready to give her secret away.

 

"I'm fine. Seriously. Just got taken off guard, that's all." She kept her voice chipper, forcing it away from the earlier huskiness.

 

"Are you sure? I know I fuck with you a lot, Rey, but you're my friend. You can tell me anything, you know?" Ben was worried, Rey wasn't looking him in the eye, and he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach.

 

Rey tried not to wince. That's right-- just his friend, nothing more. She pulled her hair out of her bun to give her hands something productive to do, fingers combing through the waves. She glanced at him, his brow knit with worry, and she sighed. What the hell-- if he only thought of her as a friend, he'd probably find this whole thing hilarious, no harm, no foul.

 

"You can't laugh at me if I tell you." She lifted a finger at him in warning. "I'm serious."

 

"I won't laugh, you're literally the only person that likes me."

 

"That's not true, Ben, but okay." She rolled her eyes before pulling her knees up so she could hug them, leaning her chin on them, finally looking up at him.

 

"To be frank-- it's been a while since I've had sex, and you reminded me of that with your damn wiggling." She let herself flush, shrugging. "I just felt weird because I don't want to make things awkward even if my body has other plans."

 

"Oh, well, that's not weird. I mean, that's just biology," Ben tried not to think about Rey having a reaction to anything physically related to him. If he did, he would definitely try to fuck his friend right here on her couch. Even though he was almost thirty, Ben still had a lot to learn about self-control, particularly after his near miss with Rey in his trailer. Now that he could feel things again, it was like he was a teenager again.  "You haven't seen anyone since Hux, huh?"

 

"Nope." Rey popped the 'p', burying herself deeper into the hoodie, quickly thinking better of it when Ben's leftover scent assaulted her nose. She didn't need another thing pushing her into his lap again.

 

"It isn't bad. I mean, Jyn and Kira got me a toy to help with it--" She turned scarlet, scrambling to apologize. "That's TMI, but y’know how it is. Nothing’s quite as great as the real thing."

 

Ben shivered at the thought of Rey, alone in her bedroom. That was a thought he'd save for when he was alone in the shower, and alone in the car. Alone in the park. He thought about the sliver of skin he’d seen today, what it would taste like."I get that. I think it's been like three years for me? I think? I can't remember. There's only so much you can do on your own."

 

"Right! I guess I'd forgotten what you need a second person for, like..." Rey swallowed, embarrassed, mumbling, "...like when you pinned my hands above my head and leaned over me. No one's done that to me before and I instantly was reminded of how being by yourself doesn't exactly let you... experiment, I guess."

 

"Shit? Really? Hux was an asshole and boring in bed? Man, that sucks," Ben jammed his hands into the pocket of his hoodie and tried to be cool. He could talk to Rey about sex. This was fine. He was fine. Totally fine. Ben wasn’t just thinking about the taste of Rey’s skin.

 

"He was busy with other girls." She shrugged. "I got most of my experience from my ex before him."

 

She wasn't sure if she was feeling less shy because it was Ben and he always had her at ease, or if she was feeling bold and wanted to see if he'd actually react to her. She curled up closer to him, her hand resting against his arm as she hummed to herself as if she wasn’t at all baring her soul and her inexperience to the man she wanted to impress always. "It's fine. At least I know that I can get myself off. Whoever I'm with next hopefully can keep up with my vibrator."

 

"Yup. I am going to die alone with Trooper, because that isn't selling me on humanity much," Ben sighed and leaned back into the couch, "Okay, so I am the guy that hasn't had sex in basically forever, and this is going to be super hypocritical, but have you thought about getting out there again?"

 

Rey bit her lip, feeling panic edging up. "I mean, yes, but with how the media likes to fixate on my dating life and it's barely been 5 months since I split with Hux, I'd rather not mess with it."

 

She sighed, shrugging, "Besides, the one guy I'd make an exception for probably doesn't want me like that. I don't want to ruin anything either."

 

Ben laughed. He couldn't help it, because the idea that anyone wouldn't want Rey was ridiculous. "I'm sorry I'm laughing, but why wouldn't anyone want to date you? Hux doesn't count because he's not actually human. I mean, just say something next time you see them. Unless you want to go with me to adopt a dog and go on the Ben Solo plan of dying alone."

 

Rey smiled weakly, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. She pictured his face falling and screwing up in terror if she were to blurt out that it was him, that she wanted him. She knew that it was a disservice to Ben to picture him practically running from her, but it wasn’t as if men hadn’t before.

 

She knew everything there was to know about being abandoned, of watching someone leave without so much of a second glance. He didn’t need her feelings--he needed her friendship, someone to make sure that he was taking care of himself, that he was holding himself together. Her feelings weren’t as important as his happiness and comfortability.

 

For his sake, she would keep it in and pine if she must. She wouldn't be able to bear the rejection otherwise.

 

"I think the latter plan is more solid at the point." She forced a brighter smile. "Besides, as long as I have batteries for my vibe, I'll be okay dying alone."

 

Ben scoffed, "I think you just forgot that sex is actually awesome. You'll change your mind eventually, and I will do my I told you so dance."

 

"Yeah, yeah. Somehow I'm pretty sure that you won't be smugly dancing anytime soon."

 

"Bah. I don't believe you."

 

"You'll just have to." Rey forced herself to relax, sticking her tongue out at Ben. "Besides, you haven't had sex in three years. You're not exactly the expert I need advising me."

 

"Hey, I just haven't like, tried. I'm an idiot." Ben stuck his tongue out at Rey, "People aren't exactly lining up, you know? Not everyone wants to date a volatile introvert. Or even fuck a volatile introvert."

 

“I think my reaction to you barely 10 minutes ago disproves the latter." Rey deadpanned, even as her heart hammered in her chest. She poked him with her sock-clad foot. "That may not be a consolation, that popstar Barbie was thinking of you bending her over her couch, but hey, I'm only human."

 

Ben paused, "What?" He must have blacked out. Rey had just told him, “I thought about you bending me over that couch and fucking me from behind.” It was probably that his dick had taken all the blood in his body and now Ben’s brain was slowly dying. This was just a bunch of dying neurons and brain cells giving him one last good time. Definitely.

 

"Oh, um, y’know, when my body reacted to you-- because of biology-- I thought of you bending me over and fucking me on the couch." Rey knew her face was practically maroon even as she shrugged and laughed weakly. "I'm just human."

 

Ben hummed, "I can't say that I haven't had the same thought before. So, don't feel too bad or weird about it."

 

"What?" Rey raised an eyebrow, trying to quell a shy smile. He seemed almost shy, not quite meeting her eyes as he sucked in a breath. She hoped that she wasn’t imagining things, that he actually was blushing. She knew that this was nothing to build hope on--she needed a relationship of feelings and emotions and love, not one built on physical touch alone.

 

But hearing that he could want her, that he had entertained the thought, was like Cinderella finding out that the prince was at least looking for her. Rey was sure, though, that her situation was more fantastic than that fairy tale. There was no way that he would want her. It was all biology.

 

"Like you said, I'm only human, right?" Ben shrugged, "How many compromising positions have we been in since we met? I mean, the first day we worked together, we stood in a shower for about 45 minutes and made out. Shit happens, I guess."

 

He almost believed his casual tone. Almost.

 

"Oh." Rey tried to keep the disappointment from her face, sighing sarcastically. "And here I was, about to ask you if you'd like to have sex with me."

 

Ben's face drained of all its color, and then turned bright red, "Rey." His voice was low and husky, which made Ben want to smack himself in the forehead.

 

"No, no, don't worry. I won't ask. Since we're just being typical humans." She tried to keep her voice neutral, tried to ignore the shiver that climbed up her spine at Ben's voice. Rey glanced at him, swallowing and trying to focus on his eyes, not his lips.

 

"I won't say no.” Ben really hated himself for saying that, because this was going to ruin everything.

 


	10. Ready For It-- Taylor Swift

"I won't say no.” Ben really hated himself for saying that, because this was going to ruin everything.

 

Rey felt her mouth drop open, her eyes widen with his words. "Yeah?" She swallowed the lump in her throat, feeling almost frozen to her spot. "You could say no-- I probably put you in such an awkward position."

 

She knew she'd babble more, but she wanted to give him an out. He deserved an out. She deserved one too-- she wouldn't be able to get him out of her head if he touched her like she dreamed he would.

 

"Yeah, I mean, I trust you. And that's the key to actually having good sex," Ben cleared his throat and didn't look away from Rey, "So, yeah. I mean, if you're interested..."

 

He wanted to die because he wanted this so badly, even though it was a terrible idea. They were still working together and would be seeing a lot of each other for at least a year if Cassian managed to cast the other actors. Ben was excited and scared like it was his first time all over again.

 

"Yes." She should be embarrassed by how quickly she had agreed, but even as she practically fell over herself to get to him, she couldn't find it in her.

 

Sometimes friends slept with each other, she reasoned. Her sister Kira had several friends with benefits and they were able to hang out after having sex with no issue. Still, she hesitated to bring her lips to his. She didn't want to jinx it for herself. She was almost scared. No, she was scared.

 

"Oh, okay. Umm. Do you want to do this now, here? Or like later?" Ben almost took his phone out to schedule sex with Rey. He was a fucking idiot.

 

"Shit, I just assumed," Rey instantly pulled away, scooching back to her end of the couch, cursing herself the entire time. "We can later if you'd like. I don't mind."

 

She felt ready to pout, to give up on the whole notion. Instead, she looked at Ben, waiting for him to respond. She knew that he could say no still, and everything about thought made her ache with worry. Rey wondered if she could look him in the eye if he changed his mind, carrying around the fact that she wanted him. She knew that he could keep secrets, but that was a secret she would have wanted to keep to herself.

 

Unless he said yes. Unless he did actually want her and wouldn’t change his mind. Then he could have everything.

 

"Now's good. I mean, everyone left thinking we were going to have sex anyway, so we might as well, just take advantage of it?" Ben coughed and looked at Trooper, asleep on the cat bed.Wow, he had to pause after saying that and just appreciate how fucking  _ stupid that sounded _ . That was the least romantic or sexual way to proposition a woman. ‘Let’s just fuck because everyone is assuming that we’re doing it anyway.’ It would be a miracle if Rey didn’t just walk him to the door.

 

"I mean, you're not wrong." Rey fidgeted, a smile twisting upon her lips. "For two people that Rolling Stone called 'sexy together', we're very awkward about this whole business, huh?" She still hadn't moved closer, biding her time in her spot. She'd moved too quickly before-- he could come to her.

 

"That wasn't actually us, you know? That was like, work us, " Ben moved closer to Rey, "We can just watch Forensic Files if it gets too weird, ok? We can stop whenever you want." It seemed that he hadn’t killed any chance? What was even happening? There was a part of him that wanted to sit down and put his stupid head in his hands. Maybe put his head between his knees because his stomach was more than a little nervous.

 

"Ditto." She tugged him down to her, his lips meeting hers all too easily. She knew that he could kiss-- he'd done so dozens of times-- but this was different. He kissed her like he was afraid to break her but so badly wanted to consume her everything.

 

There was a loud buzzing in his ears as he finally kissed Rey. Not for work, in front of a million people, while they pretended to be in love. This was all them. Ben's hands shook slightly as he touched Rey's waist and slowly moved her on to his lap. He didn't even try to hide his nerves; if they couldn't do this without shame or pretense, there wasn't any point to it at all.  She pulled a little at his hair that had gotten longer over the last few months, making him moan and squirm, unthinkingly pressing Rey further into his lap.

 

"Anything on your bucket list that you want to do? If we're going to do this, I want to make sure you're getting what you want."

 

"Don't overthink it, okay?" Rey pulled back to kiss his cheek, his jaw, his neck, scraping her teeth gently along his collarbone. "Just do what feels right. I'll let you know if I don't like it." She leaned up again, nipping at his earlobe. "I trust you."

 

She nuzzled her face against his, smiling. "Trust me. When we get into it more, you'll want me to shut up. I'm very bossy."

 

"Shut up and get in the bedroom, Kenobi," Ben leaned forward and kissed Rey's neck, "I am not fucking you for the first time on your couch while my dog watches." Before Rey could move, Ben stood up, pulling Rey with him as she squealed and wrapped her legs around his waist, "Too slow." Continuing to kiss her neck, Ben walked the five feet into Rey's bedroom and dropped her unceremoniously on the bed. He paused to lock the door and kick it shut before pulling off his shirt.

 

"You're impatient," Rey noted, rolling her eyes as Ben's hands dropped to his pants, popping the button before noticing that she was merely laying there watching him. With faux exasperation, he grabbed her by the ankle, gently pulling her to him, reaching for her--technically his-- shirt.

 

She caught his hand, shook her head. "I kind of want you to touch me while I still wear your shirt. Is that weird?" She pulled him closer, onto the bed, his hips meeting hers just enough for her to feel his length brushing almost against her core.

 

Not waiting for his answer, she leaned up, peppering kisses across his chest. "Specifically, I want you to lick my pussy while I wear your shirt." There was a low moan from him and she smiled against his skin, feeling his hands find her curves through the shirt, his breath hitching in her ear.

 

Ben toed off his shoes before pulling off his pants and pushing Rey backward onto the bed. Not trusting his voice, he pulled off her leggings, throwing them somewhere behind his head before rubbing a knuckle along Rey's pussy, pushing against the cotton of her underwear.

 

Rey let out a low moan that was encouraging, so he continued to barely brush his knuckle against her clitoris. "We'll get there, sweetheart, don't worry."

 

Rey hummed at him, burying her fingers in his hair. "I think I like you calling me sweetheart." She shuddered as he rubbed a finger up her slit, and she tried not to buck her hips. It would possibly make things awkward now, him calling her sweetheart. Her heart already pounded and her legs grew weak when he called her that when they were just friends. Now he was hovering over her, looking at her as if she was some goddess divine, and she knew that the image would be seared to the back of her eyelids and to the word ‘sweetheart.’

 

She wasn’t sure if she was glad about it or not, gasping at the slight nudge he gave with his finger against her clit.

 

"Did you like the thong I was wearing earlier?" Rey knew that he'd seen it while patching up her bodysuit, had even commented something like 'oh, so that's why there aren't any lines,' almost thoughtfully. Earlier, she'd tried to keep her mind away from Ben thinking about her underwear, but now, laying under him, it's the only thing she wanted to think about.

 

"I thought you weren't wearing any," Ben admitted before sliding his hands up her thighs to pull Rey's underwear off carefully, throwing it behind him, without a backward glance, "I like any underwear that you're wearing." Trying to hide his flush, Ben crouched down and licked the length of Rey. She was warm and wet, a feeling that made him even harder.

 

"Fuck." Rey could hear, could feel Ben laugh at her swear, but she didn't care, on the verge of babbling incoherently as his tongue circled her clit almost delicately before lapping against her hard. "Trust me, if I hadn't been wearing any underwear, I wouldn't have let you touch me-- I probably wouldn't have been able to handle it and you would have made the hole bigger."

 

"Oh, really? Because there was a part of me, kneeling in my trailer that wanted to lean down and lick that little spot. To see how you tasted," Ben looked up innocently before pushing two fingers inside Rey, who was so, so wet. He then began to move them back and forth, while making a beckoning motion, deliberately grazing her g-spot.  Her eyes were closed and mouth slightly open, which made him want to laugh. Instead, he decided to flick his tongue against her clit to see how she'd react.

 

"God, Ben." She keened, hands rooting in her hair and tugging slightly harder than she intended. Rey wondered if her head was spinning, if she was dying, feeling her back arch just slightly with the intensity of it all. She almost wished that she had touched him first, that she could be in control right now.

 

"If they let me keep the bodysuit after production, maybe I'll wear it next time," she purred, stroking Ben's face. "I bet you wanted to fuck me at least twice today."

 

"That's privileged information," Ben replied as he looked up from between her legs and made a decision. He pulled his fingers out of Rey and absently licked them clean while watching her writhing on the bed. Settling himself next to her, Ben tugged his shirt off Rey before trapping both her wrists in his much larger hand. "But right now, you'll be the one doing the talking." Grateful for his long arms, Ben kept Rey's arms above her head while he carefully kissed her bare breasts and slowly rubbed her clitoris in lazy diagonal motion.

 

"What do you even--ah god-- want me to talk about?" Rey shivered, the air cold against her exposed skin, giving Ben the chance to latch his lips onto her breast, giving her a punishing suck that had her mewling.

 

"God, I should have had you fuck me the first chance I got," she muttered, her groan throaty. She swore he was smirking into her skin.

 

"And when was that?" Ben pressed harder at Rey's clit, wanting her to give voice to every dirty thought she'd ever had about him, because he was ready to do whatever she wanted, however she wanted it. He squeezed her wrists, just enough pressure to make Rey moan louder, to see if she'd make her confession.

 

"I-I don't know." She squeezed her eyes shut, let out a shuddering breath. "I didn't know if or when you'd ever want me, but honestly, the third day on set for that first music video? I thought about you fucking me in the shower, for real though."

 

Rey whimpered, hissing at the teasing touches Ben was treating her to, the pressure of her fingers going from hard to soft. In the darkness, she could still see him smirk.

 

"What else did you think about?" Ben felt himself getting harder, which had to be totally his imagination because if he got any harder, he would turn into stone. Feeling bold, Ben kissed along Rey's neck before whispering in her ear, "Did you touch yourself after... like I did? When I was in my trailer, I went in to be alone and think about you. It was the first time in months that I’d been able to do it. God, I wanted you so bad today. All day.”  

 

In for a penny, in for a pound.

 

"God, yes ." Rey all but sobbed, shivering against him, trying to capture his lips with hers. "The after the first day of filming, I went back to my loft and fucked myself with my fingers. You hadn't even touched me really that day. I wanted you so bad--fuck,  _ Ben. _ "

 

"Do you want me to fuck you now?" he asked softly, whispering in Rey's ear as he once again, pushed two fingers inside her, thumb on her clit, making lazy circles. Ben liked how Rey looked, red-faced, sweaty and shaking from desire. He filed it away for later, because like all good things in his life, it wouldn't last. He probably wouldn’t last either. But he could make it good for Rey while he had control of himself.

 

"Please." Rey almost felt ashamed by how pathetic she sounded, whispering, but with Ben leaning over her so reverently, looking at her like she was everything, she didn't mind. "However you want to fuck me, imagined fucking me-- I want you to do it that way."

 

Under his hands, she felt like clay being molded, and she felt alive, like Galatea under Pygmalion's thumb. She didn't know whether to be glad that he was here, that this was  different, or to mourn because there was a good chance this would be only once and then never again. In the meantime, she decided just to kiss him, let herself breathe him in.

 

She was glad that he didn’t ask her how she wanted him--she didn’t know, there were too many options for her. Her on top? Him from behind? A tender pace or an animalistic one, where he took what he wanted and left her begging for more, pulling her apart and then building her back up? She wanted him in every way, but it didn’t seem enough. She licked at the juncture where his neck and shoulder met, careful not to leave bruises--at the moment-- remembering Ben scolding her about it the very first day they worked together.

 

Besides, it’s not like she had to prove that he was hers. Not when he looked at her like that.

 

Ben didn't hesitate, he released Rey's arms and stripped off his underwear before pausing, "I don't have a condom. Fuck. Please tell me you have a condom. Or ten."

 

"Left side table. Top drawer. I'm also on the pill." Rey wiggled under him, finally slipping a hand around his length with a sigh.Ben looked so conflicted when his gaze fell on her in the dark, her hand around his cock and slowly pumping, biting the inside of his cheek. His hand on hers was gentle as he pulled it off, kissing the back of it tenderly, his dark brown eyes almost asking to look into her mind, to show him what she wanted. In a moment, he was pushing her back against the bed again, reaching for her side table’s drawer.

 

Ben breathed a sigh of relief, opening the drawer and pulling out a wrapped condom before looking back at Rey, "Uhhh, did you just offer to…?" He had to look completely shocked, idiotic.

 

"Only if you want to. I trust you, but I get if you want to be extra cautious." She wrinkled her nose, thinking of the hay day the media would have if she were to get pregnant.

 

Rey slid her hand down Ben's cock, watching his head tip back into a moan. "Either way, I want you in me, soon. Please, Ben?"

 

He nodded wordlessly and slid inside Rey, the condom laying forgotten on the floor. Without considering the consequences, Ben made love to Rey. He didn't even consider what would happen the next day when they had to go back to work, back to being friends. Ben was a moron who was in love with his friend. It was clear the moment that he slid inside her that no one, that nothing in the world would ever compare to Rey. He was a ruined man.


	11. Dress - Taylor Swift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Okay, I've been dying to ask-- how was it?" Rey wrinkled her nose at Kira, who rolled her eyes back. "Come on. I woke up to my little sister being nailed by a former Disney Channel star and then proceeded to walk said star's dog so you could finish up. I deserve so many things, the least of all being told if he gives head or not."
> 
> _I don't want you like a best friend - Only bought this dress so you could take it off_

Ben stared at the ceiling for a good ten minutes, listening to Rey's breathing. They had covered a lot of ground the night before and he was still having trouble believing that Rey wanted to have sex with him... Repeatedly. They had work soon, today they were filming the love scene and Ben wished for a split second that he had become an accountant. When Rey rolled over and burrowed into his side, making sleepy grunting noises, that thought had evaporated. He just hoped that Rey hadn't noticed how he felt the night before, that for him, it wasn't just sex.

Rey woke as Ben slowly pulled his arm out from under her, blinking hazily at him before smiling.

"Good morning." She wasn't sure if it was proper to kiss him now or not, if she was allowed. There was that butterfly feeling in her stomach again, and she hoped that she hadn't given herself away too much last night, that she would be able to slip back into the expected role as "just friends".

She wasn't very confident about it, but for now, she nuzzled her face into Ben's neck, murmuring, "What time is it?"

"It's four o'clock. Call isn't until 7, I can wake you up if you want to sleep," Ben tried to be calm, as Rey nuzzled his neck and he felt all his blood rushing down to his groin. He was an actor. He'd just act his way out of this problem. It would be fine, because there wasn't a problem.

"Mm. You should sleep too. Want me to set an alarm?" Rey leaned up onto her elbows, daring to kiss Ben's chin and then cheek. He could correct her if she was wrong.

Ben hummed in response, knowing that his voice would crack if he tried to speak. She'd kissed him good morning which was either a good sign or a bad sign.

"I'm taking that as a yes," she murmured, leaning over him to grab her phone, trying not to think of how both of them were still naked, trying not to shiver. "Kira may try to barge in if she doesn't hear an alarm and I doubt you want to start your morning off like that."

Ben held his breath, hoping that Rey hadn't noticed the sizable erection that had just "come out of nowhere." Bah. It happened when she leaned over him and her breasts brushed against his arm. It was like being in heat. "I locked the door last night, so we're good," he replied softly, trying to keep the heat and need from his voice. A couple more hours of sleep would set his head right.

"It's cute that you think a lock will stop her." She joked, rolling back over onto her side, tugging him to spoon her. "Hold me? Please?" She knew that it was dark enough that he probably couldn't see her face, but still, she feigned a pout. In three short hours, she'd have to have her head right, have to pretend that almost nothing had happened, but in the meantime, she just wanted to have this.

"Sure," Ben rolled over and felt his erection press against Rey's ass as he pulled her close to snuggle. Goddamn it.

"Sorry, it's just…ignore it." Ben could feel his face and chest turn hot.

"Are you sure?" It was evil of her, but she wiggled her hips, moaning softly.

“I thought you wanted me to hold you," he shuddered against her back, kissing her shoulder blade tenderly.

"I can want both, right?" She said it playfully, but deep down, she was testing the waters

"You can have both," he agreed, using his knee to push Rey's legs apart, while fumbling for her clit. Impossibly, she was already wet. "How?" Ben breathed as he pushed against her clit and felt her shake against him, ever so slightly. It was like she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Carefully, he positioned himself behind Rey, and slid inside her from behind, still holding her close to his chest.

"Fuck, _Ben_ , you're so _good_." Rey didn't care if she was a bit loud, moaning as he started picking up the pace, one hand cupping her breast, the other still buried between her thighs.

"Only for you," he replied, feeling Rey clench around him, "Definitely worth the dry spell... fuck." Feeling Rey move against him, pushing down as he pushed up drove him insane. Ben wanted to fuck her into the mattress for as long as she would let him. "So perfect, so good," he babbled while kissing her neck and nipping at the skin there. Ben needed ten more hands and the ability to stop time. Two hours wasn't long enough.

"Pull out, just for a second." With a grunt, Ben slipped out, and Rey rolled onto her stomach, sticking her ass in the air. "Fuck me from behind, baby, please."

"Fuck, fuck," Ben had lost all ability to form sentences as he positioned himself behind Rey, taking her at a punishing pace, pushing into her as hard and fast as he could go. He plucked at one of her breasts and bit down on the area of softness where Rey's shoulder met her neck. She moaned loudly and that just seemed to spur him on even more.

Rey began come, making a low whining noise that turned into a hoarse shout as she came, Ben viciously rubbing at her clitoris. He followed behind her, unsure what kind of noise or babbling noise he'd made while coming. Ben had never been a talker in bed, but with Rey, everything was different.

Outside, Trooper let out a whine and a bark. Kira pounded on Rey's door, "You two woke me and the dog up. We're going for a walk."

They started laughing, still tangled together with Ben softening inside Rey. It wasn't awkward or strange and that was going to be the most difficult part.

"Oh god. So much telling her in the morning." Rey sighed as Ben pulled out, her sides aching from laughter still. She let herself collapse besides him, cuddling into his side. "I'm only a little bit sorry that you won't be able to look her in the eye in two hours."

"It's fine. You can tell her whatever you want," Ben pulled the covers up over them both and smiled, "We have two hours to kill. I'm sure we'll think of something."

"I don't think she'll care too much about us having sex, just that we were loud." She nuzzled into him again.

"So was this our only time?" Rey wondered if it was jumping the gun, to ask, but she didn't want to assume anything, her heart in her throat

He paused, "Do you want it to be?" Ben kept his tone neutral, because there was a part of him that wanted to immediately flip Rey on her back and tell her how much he loved her. That was the surest way to have some file a restraining order.

"No." Rey paused, catching his hand to drop a kiss onto his palm. "I want this to be the first, not the only. But I remember that you said you don't want anything serious, or to hold you down, or distract you, and I don't want to scare you away."

"I don't want this to be the only time either, but I know that I'm not made for good things," Ben shivered at the second kiss that Rey laid across his knuckles, "I do want more of this. If that's okay."

"Of course." There was a warm bit of happiness that splashed around in her chest before stilling. "What are we going to tell people? Both friends and media wise?" Rey didn't know what she wanted him to answer, so she just held her breath, focused on his face.

Ben considered his options: 1. Tell Rey that they should blow off the last day of shooting and get married immediately 2. Get plastic surgery and change his name 3. Let Rey decide.

"I can hear you overthinking," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "I just want to know if I should say we're just friends or if we're dating or if we're just doing whatever we want to."

"I'm going to let you make that call. You're the one with the most to lose, and that gets dragged through the wringer the most. I can just put on sunglasses and scowl at people. No one expects much from me," Ben kissed Rey's shoulder.

Rey frowned. "This is something that we both have to decide. Not just me." She rolled over, away from Ben, chewing on the inside of her cheek, considering what would be wisest.

Honestly, it was a toss up. She'd never been in this situation before and she knew that if she didn't ease people into it, there could be consequences.

She sighed, tapping her fingers as she thought, the tapping drawing to a stop as she made up her mind. "For right now, I suppose we could keep saying that we're friends. It's probably easiest, publicity wise." She hated the decision, but that usually was a good indication that it was the right idea.

"Whatever you want to do," Ben pulled Rey close and bundled her into his arms, "You're still not allowed to touch me with your icy toes."

"Too bad." She quipped sweetly, pushing her feet against his legs, hearing him curse into her neck.

"You think you're so cute, don't you, Kenobi?" Ben growled as he jerked his legs away.

"You apparently think so too." She giggled, feeling Ben's fingers inch to her stomach again before she swatted him away.

"If you tickle me, this is the last time you see this ass today," she warned, peeking at the clock. Little less than an hour and a half before call. Rey felt Ben's lips brush her shoulder, and despite the worry in her gut, she smiled.

…

Midway through the morning's shoot and Kira was still looking at her oddly. Rey sighed, carefully stretching in her bodysuit, feeling more aware of her body than she had in months, and it definitely wasn't because of the dance choreography she was running through now. It had everything to do with her costar who sat off to the side, his eyes never leaving her, much to the raised eyebrows of quite a few crew members.

Ben, graciously, hadn't left any hickies on her. (She was sure he'd get her back later, considering the line of kiss-marked bruises she had left along his thighs and a sizable one at the base of his neck, which she saw Cassian eyeing with surprise a few times as he talked to Ben.)

Today, she felt fiercer, sexier, Cassian and Poe whistling proudly when she nailed the choreography on the first take, even though just a week before all three had agreed that it was sexier than her usual routines. If it looked good to them, then it probably would look better to the audience. Rey was more curious about what Ben thought of it, but her sister broke her out of her reverie.

"Okay, I've been dying to ask-- how was it?" Rey wrinkled her nose at Kira, who rolled her eyes back. "Come on. I woke up to my little sister being nailed by a former Disney Channel star and then proceeded to walk said star's dog so you could finish up. I deserve so many things, the least of all being told if he gives head or not."

"I'm not talking about this with you, especially not here." Rey was more than a little grateful for Rose calling her name, time for another costume change, another new bit of makeup.

Even though she knew the official story was that they were just friends, Rey couldn't help but grin at Rose's declaration as she held up the next outfit: "If Solo thought the bodysuit was sexy even a bit, he's going to die when he sees you in this."

As always, Ben got to be on set without a shirt or actual pants. He wandered around in sweatpants and a bathrobe, waiting for his next scene with Rey. He'd spent the morning watching Rey dance around in her fencing outfit, smiling and laughing. She looked beautiful and happy. It was hard to look away.

He was drinking a cup of coffee when Rey emerged from her trailer dressed in a pair of high heels, and black lingerie that was particularly sexy because it wasn't particularly revealing. It hinted at all everything underneath. Ben raised his eyebrows at Rey, "I hope Cassian owns a shotgun." He took a sip of coffee and smiled knowingly.

"Why, who needs to be shot?" She rolled her eyes at him, plucking the coffee cup away to take a sip, leaving a slight lipstick stain on the rim.

Rey glanced at Ben's clothes and sighed. "Obviously you're his favorite-- you get to be comfy during the scene." She was tempted to grab the waistband of the sweatpants, to gently snap the elastic to empathize the point, but she kept her hand to her side. She had a secret to keep, after all.

"Me and everyone who has eyes, that's who's going to get shot. My day is definitely going to be uncomfortable, even if I'm not dancing," Ben grinned at Rey, "So, we're on even footing."

"I'm glad you like it-- I'm going to see if I can take this home with me once production is over today." She winked, taking another sip of Ben's coffee as she started walking back to set. "Are you coming, or did you want to get another view?"

"I have a photographic memory," Ben snagged his coffee back and held an arm out to Rey, "Miss Kenobi?"

"Mr. Solo?" She slipped her arm through his, smiling back at him. So far, so good. She was sure something would make things difficult during shooting-- there were always snags on the last day, but for right now, Rey was content with her lot in life.

 

 **Ben Solo profile in Interview Magazine** by Snap Wexley

Solo hums for a minute, "There's so much speculation. I don't know how Rey does it. I've just had a taste of it and I hate it. I've said this a bunch and she's said it before - we are just friends. Whatever I say, no matter how true it is, you're going to dig through it like the Zapruder film and look for something that just isn't there." He sighs and looks exhausted, "Can we talk about shit that's actually interesting? Like, the movie you're supposed to be here to talk to me about? Honestly, I go home, hang out with my dog and watch Forensic Files. I'm depressingly normal."

 


	12. Call it What You Want - Taylor Swift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben leaned over and kissed Rey gently, "I know you'd like to get me home and get me into your kitchen."
> 
> "Why, so you can cook, or so that you can bend me over the kitchen counter like you did this morning?" Rey murmured back quietly. 
> 
> "It's a good thing you've got a man that can do both," Ben smiled at Rey innocently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [HerSistersKeeper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerSistersKeeper/pseuds/HerSistersKeeper) and I are on a roll with this. Fun fact: we have the SAME age gap as Kylo/Ben and Rey. It's fate y'all.

**Teen Vogue Interview with Rey Kenobi**

If Rey Kenobi had to steal a bit of her fans’ vernacular, she would say that she’s “living her best life.”

“Is that cheesy to say? I don’t care—it’s true. I’m surrounded by new opportunities and new people and everything is just going well. Honestly, it terrifies me some days, but it’s uplifting most of the time.” She’s sitting in her Nashville loft, one cat on her lap, the other hiding. Still, the sunlight streams through the many windows, and it lends a brightness that can almost compete with Rey’s happiness with her inner circle.

One of the new people in her life? Ben Solo, who stars in not one but two of her yet-to-be-released videos. “He has this perspective that’s almost too unique sometimes—at least to me. I try to keep things very lowkey and when he has the energy, he does not want to be held back.” Rey laughs, shaking her head.

“I can’t have him with me anywhere. Last time he visited me in Nashville, he dragged me out of my studio to go book shopping for eight hours.” She giggles, rolling her eyes. “I nearly killed him, but then he bought me flowers on the way home. I’m a sucker for little gestures, and he knows it.”

As if anticipating the piqued interest, she shakes her head, rolls her eyes. “I think every interview I give for the next five years will be the same thing, over and over again: no, we’re not dating! We’re just friends!” She smiles, shrugging almost sheepishly. “He’s taking me book-shopping again next week, and he’ll be so mad if I even joke about us being a couple.”

* * *

 

Even on a bad day, Nashville had sunlight in spades. Rey always loved how warm it felt on her skin, how she would tan so much that, even when she came back to New York, she’d still have a flush from the sun, her freckles popping out like stars. 

Ben didn’t seem to mind the sun, though he preferred it in doses. Sitting next to her on her loft’s balcony, listening to her try and figure out music was fine. Walking around all day and baking under the sunlight was decidedly less fun for Ben, Rey had learned. He’d only make the exception for books, and even then, he preferred to be inside while he browsed.

She didn’t mind though. As long as she was near him, she didn’t care what they did. Between the two of them, they had established that they liked the Parnassus Bookstore—Ben, for the independent books and local authors, and Rey because she had a spot to curl up while she and Trooper waited out Ben’s curiosity.

Rey had settled herself into one of the plush armchairs at the back of the store about three hours ago, Trooper laying in front of her. Every time Ben would come back with another book to add to the growing pile, he would lift his head as if to say 'I'm still protecting Rey, like you asked,' lowering it every time, but only after one of them acknowledge Trooper's contribution to the trip. 

The singer shifted in her seat, trying to find another comfortable spot, feeling as if she was running out of sitting combinations as Ben came back once more, three books under his arm. "Hey." She brightened instantly, leaning forward to glance through his selections as he plopped them on the ottoman in front of her. "What did you grab now?"

Moments like this felt so natural, and Rey wanted to do nothing more than to reach up, peck him on the cheek or the mouth, or anywhere really. She blamed it on their month-old arrangement--it made her forget that Ben wasn't quite hers and that she wasn't all his. It wasn't quite a happy medium, even if she was content with it.

"Stuff, mostly local history. Things I can't find in New York,"  Ben leaned over and picked up his books, a formidable stack that he picked up easily. He kissed Rey on the cheek, "Thanks for being patient Peanut. They're going to ship these back to New York for me."

"Oh thank god." She sat up straight, stretching with a groan before standing.

"I was going to say, 'don't even think about making me carry anything because flowers will not be enough to make me forgive you.'" Peeking cautiously towards the front of the store, making sure they were out of sight, she pulled him in, lightly brushing her lips against his. "Anything else you wanted to do before we head back to the loft?"

"Nope. I'm good," Ben kissed Rey back and laced his fingers through hers, squeezing her hand gently,"We should get groceries at some point. We can't live on Ubereats forever."

"Fine, but just know-- going grocery shopping with me is like book shopping with you. If I wander off only to come back with more junk food, remember, you're the one who insisted." She reluctantly dropped his hand as they neared the front of the store, Trooper following eagerly behind.

Ben liked Nashville, he didn't feel weird about walking Trooper around in his vest. There weren't any cameras and once, they ran into Nicole Kidman at their Whole Foods. He walked through the aisles, picking up ingredients for dinners, breakfasts, and lunches. It was the most domestic he'd ever been. Rey wandered to the cart back frequently, dropping in bath bombs, dark chocolate, and snacks. She was like a little kid sometimes. Ben didn't mind.

"Ben, help me decide: wine or vodka?" Rey already knew her decision, but still, she kept her face smooth and her eyes wide, trying to see if she could get Ben to laugh at her innocent act once more. He was smirking at her already, which she took to be a good sign, indiscriminately putting several bottles of wine into the cart. 

"What would you do if I climbed into the cart and had you push me around?" She didn't try to keep a straight face, giggling. "8 Time Grammy winner Rey Kenobi spotted getting literally carted around by close friend and actor Ben Solo. Boom, cover story of Vanity Fair next month."

"Wine, because I refuse to drive to another store today," Ben leaned over and kissed Rey gently, "I know you'd like to get me home and get me into your kitchen."

"Why, so you can cook, or so that you can bend me over the kitchen counter like you did this morning?" Rey murmured back quietly, looking up at him innocently. She waved at the girl behind the deli counter, internally rolling her eyes at herself for the small flame of jealousy that snuck up for a second. 

She knew better by now not to be jealous of anyone, especially when it was over someone she was with, but there were moments that she couldn't help it. Still, she continued to smile, leaning down to coo at Trooper instead.

"It's a good thing you've got a man that can do both," Ben smiled at Rey innocently, and for a moment, he was still the same sweet kid that had charmed everyone at Disney. He tried not to think about how it sounded, that Rey had him, but it was true. She just had to crook her finger, and Ben would load up his car and drive from New York to Nashville. It took about 13 hours, but Trooper liked riding in the car.

Rey grinned up at him, leaning up to kiss him, despite being in plain view. That was the beauty of Nashville. "It's a very good thing. Come on, let's get home before I discover the magazine rack and try to find every cover with my face on it."

"Princess, I know that you're on the cover of Garden and Gun this month," he smiled at his own joke and pushed their cart to the checkout where their usual cashier was waiting to ring them up. Ben was happy, or as happy as he could be, given their restrictions.

Rey slipped her hand into his, only letting go so Ben could get his wallet,  and then again when it came time to load groceries into his Prius. It almost felt odd to be doing such mundane activities, but Rey couldn't deny how much she liked it--at least with him. 

"What were we planning on making for dinner?" She had her feet curled under her in the passenger seat, idly looking at a magazine ("With both our faces on it," she'd teased) as Ben guided the car out of the parking lot, heading home.

"I love that you're saying we like you're gonna help me," Ben smiled over at Rey,"I figured I'd make Moroccan chicken. I've been craving it lately."

"I do help you--maybe not as much as you like, but I offer moral support. And I taste test everything." She reached back, scratching Trooper behind the ears. "You don't tease Trooper for helping you like that."

"And before you say 'It's because he's a dog,' let me remind you that you called him the smartest dog in the world just last week, so hypothetically, you probably believe that he can cook better than me."

"You're really lucky that I adore you," Ben had caught himself just in time. It had only been a couple of months, and he didn't want to scare Rey.

"I'll like you a lot more if you help me unload these groceries."

"I adore you too." Rey leaned over, pecking his cheek before settling back in her seat. She was sure that he was going to say 'love' for a moment there, and her heart had begun beating so fast in anticipation that she almost felt a little embarrassed. Almost. She settled a hand on his leg and sighed, closing her eyes, content with the day.

"And right, like you'll remember to let me help you when we get home." She rolled her eyes, deepening her voice as she imitated him, "'Jesus Christ, Rey, I was kidding when I told you to get the groceries. Put that down-- you're going to hurt yourself. I can do it, don't worry.'"

"Shut up Kenobi and let me drive," he held out his hand and felt Rey take it, squeezing it three times. It was hard to hide how he felt from Rey. Someday, maybe.

  
  
  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Follow us on Tumblr and feel free to send one (or both) of us requests.
> 
> [HerSistersKeeper](http://hersisterskeeper.tumblr.com) (writes Rey, corrects all comma issues) and [Pythia](http://pythiaspeaks.tumblr.com) (writes Ben, sucks at using commas).


	13. Delicate - Taylor Swift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben literally doesn't have any friends. Except for Rey. Snap Wexley doesn't count because entertainment journalists aren't actually people. 
> 
>  
> 
> _My reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me_

Ben flopped back on the bed, skin slick with sweat and his chest heaving from the exertion. Next to him, Rey slipped out of bed to bathroom, entirely naked except for the smile she shot him over her shoulder. Rey was insatiable, full of teasing smiles and  groping hands. Ben watched her slip back into bed and held up his arm, a silent offer to come cuddle.   
  
Did friends that fucked constantly cuddle? Would that confuse things? Listening to Rey’s small sigh of relief, Ben didn’t particularly care if it confused things later. It felt good.   
  
“All better Kenobi? Or are you going to wake me up at the crack of dawn again like you did this morning? If you keep that up, I’m going to turn into a morning person.”

 

"You make it sound like you don't enjoy it at all, Ben." Rey leaned up and kissed the corner of his mouth, giggling when he turned and kissed her back harder. "Yes, I'm all better. I won't wake you up until 6:30, promise." 

  
  
She wanted to wonder if it was odd for friends to snuggle up together so easily, if she should be asking for more, but Ben pulled her closer and her mind went blissfully blank. Running a hand up Ben's arm, Rey sighed. "Thank you."   
  
It was as close to 'I love you' that she could get, safely.

 

Ben enjoyed the feeling of Rey running a small hand along his arm, leaving pimpled gooseflesh in her wake. He absently kissed her head, “I’d say that’s what friends are for, but I am pretty sure that most friends aren’t this compatible.” Sighing, Ben pulled her closer, “They’re probably missing out.”

 

"I was going to say, 'I've never been this compatible with any of my friends,' but y'know-- you're exceptional for a reason." Rey brushed her lips across Ben's shoulder, glancing up at him.    
  
"They are missing out, but just on you. You're probably the closest and best friend I have. Is that weird to say so soon?" Rey didn't want him to think that she was backpedaling, but she didn't want to scare him, his hand closing over hers.

 

Ben hummed, “I wouldn’t know.. I’ve never done this before,” he gestured between them with his free hand,”I don’t think that’s any weirder than me telling you that you’re my only friend. I have Phasma, but she’s in Paris, modeling. We met as kids and she’s like my sister. I don’t really have close friends. I don’t really know how exactly to do this, or what exactly we’re doing.” 

 

It was hard for him to admit that he didn’t know what he was doing. Ben was always on top of everything, managing his career, finances, and medication with meticulous detail. For the first time, Ben didn’t know where he was going with something. He didn’t have a plan. His therapist just smiled at him a lot whenever Rey came up, saying non-committal things like, “I’m glad that you have someone who understands your life that you can talk to.” 

 

"I mean, I had a lot of friends growing up, but not a lot of friends like you." Despite herself, Rey raised an eyebrow, a bit confused.    
  
"I'm sure I'm not your  **only** friend, Ben."

“No. You are. I am not likable,” he kissed the inside of Rey’s wrist and tried not to snap at her for insisting otherwise. Rey brought out the best of him, and she didn’t see the shitty parts of him. Instead of snapping, Ben growled playfully and shook his head to disagree. 

 

"You're plenty likable, silly. You charmed me, and that was even after you called me 'capitalist Barbie.'" She nudged his shoulder, frowning slightly, worried.   
  
"You had someone else to talk to before we met, right? Someone else to spend time with?"

 

Ben shrugged, a small gesture as Rey’s head remained pillowed on his chest. “ I don’t really know how it works. I spent all my childhood working. I had coworkers, not friends.” It was one of the weirder things about his childhood, all of his closest companions were adults, because he spent all his time working. Those same adults also then faulted him for not being more like a kid, even though they were the reason he didn’t get to spend time with other kids. It wasn’t shocking turn of events that Ben had gotten himself emancipated at sixteen. 

 

"Always?" Rey sat up a bit, propping herself on her elbows so she could look Ben full in the face. "You never hung out with anyone or did anything fun as a kid?"

 

“Pretty much. I mean, we did stuff as kids, but we are never really very close. We competed with each other for parts and jobs. And there’s also this separation between us because of my parents. Everyone just kind of assumed that I would be good, that I would be successful because of who they are,” he looked away, the warmth and sadness in Rey’s expression too much for him for just a second. No one ever saw Ben Solo and considered that he might have even had a difficult time as a child. 

 

Rey's frown deepened. She knew enough about the Organa-Solos to know what Ben was talking about-- they were practically Hollywood royalty. His mother, Leia, had been the queen of sitcoms and romcoms and his father Han had played a slew of parts on stage and screen, usually as a man in power or with a badge and a gun. To grow up with parents like that would have been intimidating at the very least, almost socially debilitating at the most.

 

"Did you make any friends after Disney? I hear that usually helps a bit-- leaving the tween crowd behind." Rey wasn't sure if she was being helpful or not, slipping closer to Ben, her hand cupping his face reflexively.

 

“Not so much. I just... no one really explains how to do the whole friend thing outside of school or work. Everyone I’ve met since then, they’re nice, but I can see them calculating. Trying to see how I fit into their agenda. Phasma and Snoke? They’re the only people that have ever been interested in me, rather than what I can do for them,” he turned and kissed Rey’s palm, “It’s all very surface-level. That’s why I was so nervous about coming here.”

 

"Oh." Rey wasn't quite sure what to say. She knew that he wasn't saying anything to be rude, just honest. She took a deep breath, looked him in the eye. "Did you think I was going to use you too?"

 

She knew that this could make or break them, but she kept her voice soft, her fingers tracing across his face soothingly.

 

“No. Not after that first day. You’re like me. Everything that you do, the image and music? That’s all you. All the time, you’re in it. Even when you’re not working, there’s a part of you that’s still a little bit there. It’s not bad, because you love it, and you hate it because it’s everything. No one ever got it. Until you.”

 

Ben thought that maybe he should look away, that he was crossing some invisible Rubicon. Looking away from her big hazel eyes that were so understanding and compassionate seemed impossible.

 

Rey let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding, relief washing over her. "Yeah? I feel the same way about you. I like how intense you are. You don't care about what you need to do, just if you do it right and if it furthers what you're doing. You do things because you like it and because it's you."

 

She let herself settle down again, pressing her nose to his almost playfully. "I was almost afraid you'd use me too but that worry went away after you called me a Barbie."

 

Ben laughed, “Yeah? That is a first. Everyone tells me to calm down or to take a break...Being Barbie isn’t a bad thing. She’s everything so many different people. People all around the world recognize her face, and dream of what she represents. I said it to be shitty, at first. But, you guys have a lot in common.”

 

She sighed, shrugging a shoulder. "Usually people see the lipstick and hear a song and think that I'm a lovesick bimbo. You talk philosophy with me, and don't make me feel dumb when I ask questions."

 

“I know a lot of dumb people with degrees from very impressive places. And they’re the only ones that are impressed by their degrees. It’s what you do with your talent that matters. You could have all the talent in the world, but if you put in no effort, if there’s no drive, the what the fuck is the point? You might as well just be dead.” Ben laced their fingers together and noted the difference in their size. He was kind of gigantic, particularly when compared with Rey, who wasn’t actually all that tiny and delicate, despite her penchant for ball gowns. 

 

"You're not wrong. But you still respect me no matter what, which is the thing that's important to me. You still treat me like I'm your equal."

 

“That’s because you are.”

 

Rey lifted Ben's hand to her lips, kissed the palm of his hand, considered his words. "No, I'm not."

 

He rolled his eyes, “I don’t think you get to decide for me who I think is my equal. Who I see as a partner. I think I get to decide that for myself. Unless that’s in a Little Golden Book my nannies never read to me.”

 

Rey stuck her tongue out at him, rolling her eyes at him. "There's that charm that got me to like you. Wow, I'm swooning."   
  
She glanced at him shyly, anyways. "You see me as a partner?"

 

“Yeah, we work together. I trust you.  I see you as an equal,” he frowned, thinking, “am I using the wrong word? I’m pretty sure that’s the best word for you. Who you are to me, at least.”

 

Rey was grateful that the room was dark, that he couldn't see her flush. "No, it's the right word. Definitely the right word."    
  
She didn't say anything, her stomach sinking just a little bit, feeling as if there were nervous butterflies batting their wings frantically at her throat as she cleared it. "I trust you too. I'm glad I get to work with you."

 

She pulled away for a moment, glancing down at the floor and grabbing the first shirt she found, Ben's oversized t-shirt falling over her frame all too easily. It gave her a moment to far away from him, to get her breath back, but his scent against her nose had her flushed and fluttery.

 

Ben leaned over and kissed Rey on the lips, admiring her in his shirt. “My career is everything to me. It’s who I am, and it’s nice that you understand it’s...something I’ve never shared before. With anyone.” He pulled the covers up, shaking out the wrinkles and burrowing deeper into the remarkably comfortable pillows Rey had on her bed. Ben rolled over onto his side, still watching Rey closely. She wore his old Latin Club t-shirt, a thrift store find from college. It suited her.

 

Rey turned back to Ben, slipping back under the sheets, sighing as he pulled her closer, as if she belonged there always. "It helps that we both consider our careers central to ourselves. I would never ask you to do anything that could hurt it or you in any way."   
  
_ Even if it's being with me _ , was the quiet whisper in the back of her mind. Rey wanted to frown, but she couldn't, feeling Ben's lips on her forehead as he hummed at her.

 

“I know. That’s why you have a say. Stop thinking and go to sleep. I’m an old man who needs to sleep,” he yawned loudly before pulling Rey closer, completely unconcerned with the world. He was with Rey, and that was pretty much all he needed. Outside, Trooper’s nails clicked against the wooden floor outside the door where Rey had put a bed for him to sleep on. She even made space for his dog in her apartment. 

 

She snorted at him, letting Ben pull her so that her head was on his chest, listening to his heart. "Right. If that's the case, old man, I'll be sure not to wake you up in the morning and just take care of myself."

 

Ben laughed softly, “You can’t do the thing that I do with my tongue to yourself, and you’ll just wake me up when you come. You’re really loud. It’s really endearing. You should have someone on your PR team mention that.”

 

"Once I wake you up tomorrow though, I won't want to make sure you come, Ben. That's the the thing." She peeked at him and smiled. "You'll be even grumpier if I didn't make sure you could take credit in the morning."

  
Rey sighed, rolling her eyes. "Don't get a big ego now...And one of us still has to deal with preteens as our fanbase, Ben. Besides, the press release would be so specific because I've only come with you."    
  


 

“Well, we can’t sully your darling little fanbase. I’ll wait until they turn at least 16 and discover Internet pornography,” Ben nibbled at Rey’s shoulder, kissing and barely pressing his teeth against her skin. 

 

"You're so gross. And you're the Disney star."

 

“Hah. If anyone saw us together, do you really think you’re hanging out with me for my sparkling personality and charm? You’re totally here for the dick. It’s fine. Shut up and go to sleep. And definitely I knew that you had never come with anyone other than me, because you looked super shocked when it happened. It’s different from the face you make when you win an award. You’re half expecting that. Goodnight Rey,” he kissed her on the shoulder and pretended to fall asleep, breathing loudly and showily. 

 

"You're an asshole, Ben." Still, Rey cuddled closer. She wanted to correct him, tell him that she was here because he was sweet and thoughtful and kind. She'd let him think whatever he needed to though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> [HerSistersKeeper](http://hersisterskeeper.tumblr.com) is the beautiful and suprisingly foul-mouthed Rey. [Pythia](http://pythiaspeaks.tumblr.com) is Ben, and they both know that you're here for the dick.

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not repost this story on other websites or platforms. If you'd like to see this posted elsewhere, please drop us a line! 
> 
> Thanks! [Pythia](http://pythiaspeaks.tumblr.com) and [HerSistersKeeper](http://hersisterskeeper.tumblr.com)


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